


You don't need anyone but me, understand. HIATUS

by WangJinYoungJaebum



Category: GOT7
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Humor, Hyung - dongsaeng dynamics, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insecure Im Jaebum | JB, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Park Jinyoung | Jr., Jealousy, Jinyoung doesn't know how to be a normal person, M/M, Male OCs, Manipulation, Mark being Clueless, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Possessive Behavior, Second Person Narration, Shy Choi Youngjae, Stalking, Texting, Underage Drinking, Violent Thoughts, Violent tendencies, Warnings May Change, When half of your ship is literally the worst, Yandere, Yep it's Jaebum, at least he wants to be, but he's a good boy on the inside, guess who?, jackbum - Freeform, manipulative Jinyoung, manipulative! Jinyoung, told in both perspectives, trigger warnings will be included in relevant chapters, yandere jinyoung, yugbam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-02-27 05:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13240974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WangJinYoungJaebum/pseuds/WangJinYoungJaebum
Summary: When Jinyoung sees Mark he has to know everything about him.When Mark sees Jinyoung he decides to come to the same cafe everyday until they meet again.When they finally talk to each other, will either of them be able to live up to the other's expectations? And what will the consequences be if things don't work out?A college AU where Jinyoung doesn't know how to let things naturally run their course, because why leave things to chance when you can force the hand of fate in your favour. Mark doesn't realise that too much attention can be a bad thing, and his group of friends is pushed to their limits while trying to pull him back from Jinyoung's grip.TL;DR Mark likes his new boyfriend too much to see that he's a borderline psychopath. And Jackbum are... well they're a troublesome pair. Also can somebody just give Bambam a fucking hug please?This fic goes from cute and fluffy to angsty and creepy real quick. So, be warned.





	1. Chapter 1 - Jinyoung

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~ This is the first thing that I've ever published! And only like the second fic I've ever written so... yeah. It's like 5 am where I am and I've written around 5000 words so I thought I might as well publish it and hopefully wake up to some feedback at least. I really want to know what people think of the idea, what they like and what they don't etc. And I'd love some suggestions for endings etc. 
> 
> So far in this Jinyoung is a college Junior and he's pretty much a loner, he doesn't understand relationships and doesn't get that just because you like someone doesn't mean that you own them. SO... I'm stuck between keeping him a slightly (very) unstable weirdo or letting Mark "fix" him towards the middle/end of the fic and well... i guess the opposite of that. There'll be lots of cute moments and lots of fluff, but lots of angst too and lots of Jinyoung being a master manipulator towards the other OT7 members. 
> 
> Also, I know that psychopathy/anti-social behaviour isn't curable and that you shouldn't try to fix abusive people (EVER!). ONE MORE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK; I know it's not like a cold! You can't just say "hey, stop being awful, cuz i like you" I just wanted to play around with a kind of dark concept. I know our Jinyoung wouldn't do things like this. 
> 
> Anyways, tell me what you think! As far as the texts between AmeriThaiKong ft. JB I put in time stamps in the text so you know where the text messages relate to in the story, there's corresponding time stamps above each block of texts. The texts are kind of important to the story and the friendship of the OT4 before Jinyoung arrives, and so the shorter blocks will be included in-text, but for now they're just light and *hopefully* funny. I've put the texts at the end of the chapter because I know some people really dislike having to read text messages in fan-fics, especially if they're not crucial to the plot. (lol those same people probably don't read author's notes so... sorry I guess)

CHAPTER 1

Jinyoung

 

I remember when I first saw you sitting in the back of that coffee shop. You know the one off the corner of main street, the one with all the plants in the front window. Let's just call it our coffee shop.

 

I remember when I first saw you at our coffee shop. You were drinking something iced and milky, reading a book that had been in my Amazon basket for about 5 weeks. I never know what to order in new places, and I never just give myself the things I want. Even when it came to books, my second favourite things after you, I still need to convince myself to get them. But there you were, you looked so sure of yourself. So sure, of everything you were doing. And I knew then that I needed to at least know your name. To know if someone like you, someone so different from me. Someone so perfect; could even be real.  But of course, me being me, I just asked the barista if he remembered what you'd ordered. An Iced chai latte. I hate overhyped sugary things like that, but I got one too, just to be that little bit closer to you.

 

I sat down at a table near enough that I could still pretend to be looking around the coffee shop while I was really just looking at you. Though far enough that you wouldn't feel the need to talk to me. I know you can't help it, that desire to be noticed. You’re still like that. I can feel you looking at me every time I laugh. The thought of you listening to me makes me smile even more.

 

I sat typing, reading, scrolling for about an hour – and 17 minutes – when you finally put your receipt into _our_ book, about half way – you read so quickly, are you an English major? Are you in college? You bring your cup to the counter, so the barista doesn’t have to bust your table – you’re so considerate – and you call out

"Bye, Andy!"

God, your voice. I couldn't breathe, I could barely think. The barista wasn't even wearing a name tag. All could think was: How often do you come here? How often do I have to come here, when will you know my name too? There are so many things I regret and one of them is not talking to you that day.

 

\---  

 

Saturday, 11.09 am, you walk into our place. You're wearing light blue jeans and they fit you perfectly, they look expensive – or maybe it's just because you make everything look good –  you've got on a white t-shirt with ‘trendy’ holes in the hemline and a dark grey bomber jacket on. You're wearing a hat today but take it off inside and run your hands through your hair a few times. You look good, effortless, until I see you’re wearing a watch today, and suddenly I feel jealous. Andy's not even that good-looking, I'm sure I could make good coffee too if I tried.

 

This is the third time we've been in here together, and the fifth time I’ve seen you. The second time I was here I barely looked at you at all and it nearly killed me. I had to play it cool, to put the ball in your court. I walked past here a few times last week. When I saw you in here studying or reading I’d walk or drive a few blocks uptown to the Starbucks on main street, just so I don't seem weird. So that you wouldn’t know how hard I was trying to get to know you.

 

I saw you get into a really nice black car the other day, I couldn’t see who was driving it but when you opened the door music was playing and someone’s laughter rang loudly through air before you shut the door. You’re popular I guess, it’s nice that you have friends.

 

You order an Iced latte today, and I smile. You get what you want when you want it, you're flexible. The fact you don’t have a hard-set routine makes this all the more fun.

 

I'm sitting at a picnic-bench style table. Thick reliable wood, polished within an inch of its life. There’s more than enough room for you to sit down without bothering me. I’m praying that you pass this little test and sit here. My back is against the wall and I’m holding my breath as you pick up your coffee and walk towards me. I try to focus on reading our book, it's good.

 

"It's great” I look up, “the book I mean." This can't be happening.

 

"Huh?" is all I manage. In my haze it comes off toneless and irritated. Because my brain still can’t process this. I’ve practised, I’ve practised dozens of times what I’d say, what we’d talk about. How you’d fall for me. But I never ran through this scenario. There’s too much going on. You’re talking to me, you’ve seen me enough times to recognise me. But your coffee is in a take-away cup. But I’ve seen you do that before, sit down with a coffee to-go. But that was the day your friends picked you up. Are you waiting for someone? It’s been too long, and I have to say something, so you know you’re not bothering me, so you know to sit down.

 

You beat me to it and start talking again. "The book, it's kind of twisted but it's really good" you say. It’s more than twisted. But you don't mind that. You like messed up things.

 

"Oh, yeah I love it so far"

 

The air between us is more than electric, it's barely air. I feel like I'm being crystallised, preserved in the nectar of this moment. Was the watch for me? Oh god. The watch was for me.

 

"JIN--Jinyoung" I don't know why I shouted the first part of my name. I have to try again.

 

"I'm--"

"I'm--" we say at the same time, you laugh, and I do too because you couldn't make a sound that wonderful if you hated me. You couldn't hate anyone. Not you.

 

I feel you put your drink down before I see it, the minuscule vibration it makes against the table sets my skin on fire. You’re sitting down. Directly opposite me. You’re sitting down in front of me and Christmas is still 3 months away but today feels like is the best day of the year. It feels like people will write songs about today 50 years from now.

 

"I'm Mark" you say. The way you pronounce the A in your name, the why you melt kind of into 'kinda', I know you're not from around here. This dumb college town doesn't make people like you.

 

"I'm Jinyoung" I can feel the question coming before you even think to ask, "It's Korean, I'm Korean."

 

"Oh! Anneonghaseyo" you say, and I can tell I'm smiling, because you start smiling too. You even know Korean.

You asked me how long I’d lived here, and I had to hold back from telling you everything about myself. I just say

“Pretty much forever, I think I was two or something when my parents moved to the states so…”

 

“Ah, I was born in California.” I could tell.

“But you could probably tell, right?” you top off all your sentences with a smile or a laugh. Why are your teeth so perfect? Did you have braces, or do hot people automatically have impossibly perfect teeth?

 

“Yeah, I could kind of – or sorry – ‘kind-duh’ tell” I tease you and you throw you head back with laughter. Oh my god you’re such a flirt, it’s killing me.

 

You bring your cup to your mouth and you’re looking right at me. I look away, I can’t handle it. When I look back you’re checking your phone and typing something out. Please, if there’s a god, you’re cancelling whatever plans you had. You’ll ask me something like ‘Hey do you like Thai food, or Vietnamese food, or Cantonese food’ whatever type of Asian you are and bring me to a restaurant you like. Or you’ll suddenly remember there’s a movie you wanted to see and pretend someone cancelled plans with you, so you’ll just _have_ to bring me instead.

 

When you look up I’m looking at you, and I guess you’re in love with me too because the way you smile when you look down at our book and then back up at me is everything I’ve ever wanted to see.

“Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering you. It’s just I feel like no one knows Atsuko Higuchi, some of her best stuff isn’t even translated into English yet. It’s criminal” You’re Japanese? 

 

“I’ve heard a few people say that” First lie. 

 

“Since when have you been into her stuff?” you ask 

“Oh god. _So_ long! Since like high school.” Second lie. Since I saw her on a Goodreads list about 2 months ago after a search for ‘books with fucked up main characters’

 

You smile. “Wow, I wish there had been kids like you at my high school” you say and suddenly I lie again

 

“Same. We would have been friends!” I probably would have hated you back then, you’re perfect. I bet your parents are rich too. Judging by the car you got into your friends are rich as well. You faintly remind me of the kids at my college. I hate them half of them, the other half can practically smell the scholarship on me and so they hate me by default. I’m sure some of them went to the same preppy high school you probably went to. We wouldn’t have hung out in a million years.

 

You sip your coffee again, and turn to the door as someone walks in.

 

“Markiepooh~” Someone calls out and you start laughing.

 

Fuck. The watch wasn’t for me.


	2. Chapter 1 - Mark POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 from Marks Pov, or nothing really happens so I guess it's just a retelling of chp. 1  
> Further along the chapters will be quite different depending on whose POV it it and will most likely switch to the other persons when something big happens or when they meet up with each other, like a relay. It's hard to explain but I hope you get it.

CHAPTER 2

Mark

Mark Tuan sat in the seat he always gravitated towards whenever it was free. It was the best people watching spot. And they guy that just walked in was worth getting here early for. Tall, handsome, and when he happened to look Mark’s way he smiled a little. He had the kind of smile worth making a fool of yourself for, Mark thought subconsciously. Willing to take the risk he reached out for his cell phone to take a sneaky, _sneaky,_ picture. Just to see if anyone he knew was friends with the handsome young man. As soon as Mark opened the camera app the guy looked over in his direction again, as though he were scanning around for a good seat. After a moment he turned his gaze back towards the blackboard menu. As soon as his attention was elsewhere Mark took the picture. The guy looked like one of those people in college prospectuses, or in the brochures for afterschool tutoring. Mark had a brief flashback to his junior year of high school. Sitting on his bed, flicking through prospectuses he’d ordered, focusing more on the photos than the information. The pictures always made him a little sad. They were always filled with beautiful young people, smiling slightly to themselves, secure in the knowledge that even if they flunked out of college at least they could get into modelling.

 

Mark looked at the picture one last time before he sent it into his group-chat to see if anyone knew the guy, even tangentially. Neither Jaebum or Jackson did. Mark scrolled through the backlog of messages from last night. Ones Jaebum and Jackson had sent into the group chat before coming to the realisation neither Mark nor Bambam were still awake.  Reading their semi-private messages made Mark even more suspicious that their relationship had changed somehow, perhaps over the summer. And that they weren’t telling him or Bambam about had gone on.

 

(Sept. 30 – 2:07pm)

 **Mark_Tuan93:** DOES ANYONE KNOW THIS GUY?

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Why are you yelling??? I wish. He’s cute

 **ImJBDef:** We’ve talked about doing things like this in the group chat. Please use go somewhere for all your bi/homo/pan/etc-sexual shenanigans.

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Like you haven't thought about tickling a pickle ever in your life……

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Wait…. JB what?

 **ImJBDef:** I’ll ask around for youuuu~~

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Uh oh! Bummie’s doing aegyo! You know he’s feeling defensive lol

 **ImJBDef:** BUMMIE?? Shut your fyckking mouith you likttl e…

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Damn, you couldn’t even read over that before sending it? Someone IS defensive. Damn happened with you two?

 **DoubleB:** Joined just in time!! Also, who’s the cutie in the pic?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** That’s what I wanna know. Oh god. He’s looking at me! Gotta look smart!

 **ImJBDef:** You’re so fake

 **DoubleB:** hahaha yeah fake ass bitch

 **Mark_Tuan93:** I’m fake? You both need to look in a mirror….

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Mark’s such a hoe omg. Reminds me of someone…

 **Mark_Tuan93** : Lol okay I’ll stay for this, who?

 **ImJBDef:**  Now that I think about it Hyunwoo might know him, he kinda looks Korean

 **DoubleB:**  Smooth way to change the topic… not! Also every hot Asian guy is Korean you, racist bitch

 **ImJBDef:** Watch it. Anyways~ Koreans can sense each other! Like how Jackson just walked up to Mark that day and started speaking in Chinese to him

 **JackssssonWaaang** : Umm it didn’t happen like that. Also…Which dialect of Chinese do we speak?

 **ImJBDef:** Um… Cantorin?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Lol I can’t even defend you now…

 **DoubleB:** lol you racist bitch

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Can’t believe I respect your culture enough to call you hyung but you don’t know whether we speak Cantonese or Mandarin

 **ImJBDef:** RESPECT? Bambam just called me a bitch, twice!! AND YoU CAN SPEak bOTH!!1!1!! You speak literally every language ever!

 **Mark_Tuan93:** wow you know him so well, are you in love?

 **DoubleB:** Is hyung like the Korean version of daddy?

 **ImJBDef:** Oh my god…NOOO.

 **Mark_Tuan93:** No to being in love or no to hyung being the same as daddy?

 **ImJBDef:** YOU ALL KNOW WHAT HYUNG MEANS!!! YOU GUYS SPEAK KOREAN WELL!!!!!

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Lol idk what it means to YOU. Daddy means father but the kids say what they want these days…

 **DoubleB:** the kids lol you’re such an old man

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Old?? Can we sell him, or like just leave him somewhere? Like for real?

 **DoubleB:** O__O ouch… Mark oppa pls love me</3

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Eww.

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Guys he’s about to order!!! Bye

 **ImJBDef:** stalker….

 

The guy leaned closer to the counter and asked Andy for what ‘that blonde guy’ was having. Mark cast his eyes around the café quickly, he was the only blonde guy there. The guy waited while Andy made him an iced chai latte and Mark used the opportunity to take a closer look at the young man. He was well dressed in addition to being tall and handsome. He was taller than Mark, probably by no more than two inches, and his hair, a deep brown colour, was styled away from his face in what Jackson insisted was called ‘the 2:8’; parted 20% to one side, 80% to the other.  Once his drink was made, he took it to a table near Mark’s and set it down before taking off his backpack and pulling out a laptop and notebook. Those were the last motions he made other than typing and writing for the half an hour. Once he began working Mark barely caught him looking away from his laptop or notebook once, let alone looking in Mark’s direction.  He was fully absorbed in his work.  He didn’t acknowledge Mark once he’d finished his drink, not even a nod in Mark’s direction to say, ‘thanks for the suggestion, pal’.  It seemed as though Mark had only been an extension of the drink he’d wanted to order. ‘That blonde guy’ could have been replaced with ‘that plant’ or ‘that picture frame’. Mark was just background scenery and nothing more. As usual.

 

Mark alternated between reading and watching the younger man studying across the café. After sitting there for a little more than an hour he pulled out a what looked like a journal or planner, and another A4 notebook. He was a college student, definitely. The way he alternated between a dense PDF document and scrolling through his phone, laughing quietly to himself confirmed it. Every once in a while, during a break Mark supposed, he’d find something really funny and small creases would form at the corners of his eyes. He never really laughed out loud, the way most of Mark’s friends would, it was more of an amused sigh. His eyes gave away what he found funniest based on how much they crinkled or got pushed into half-moons by his adorable smile. Mark began hoping, praying, that someone knew him. He had an informant for every possibility. JB knew almost every Korean in town, by virtue of his parents owning two barbeque places within a 15-mile radius of the very building they were in now.

Jackson knew everyone who can speak a decent amount of Cantonese or Mandarin, as well as members of nearly every varsity team in the college town they lived in. And well, Bambam… he just knew everyone, Asian; Black; White; Latino. Athletes, nerds, hipsters, everyone. If you had ever been to any party, in any dorm, on any campus Bambam would know about you somehow. Hell, if you’d ever been to a party at all, the odds were that Bam probably knew someone who knew you. Mark had heard things like ‘Oh him? He’s the brother of the TA for the Art History class I have to take this year.’ Or ‘Yeah, I know her, she was tagged in one of the pictures my hairdresser put on Instagram. She followed me actually. I think her name’s Ashley or something, she’s a total Gemini because…’ more times than he could possibly count. Being as handsome as he was and also being tangentially involved in the ‘the art world’ as Bambam liked to call it – as student of design and concept development – Bambam was constantly at wrap parties, portfolio submission parties, and club promotion events. Mark worried about him getting involved with weird people sometimes, but still had to admit that Bambam’s networking skills were no joke.

 

Mark glanced down at his phone as a round of notifications came in. He prayed one would have some information about the handsome student across the café.

 **ImJBDef:** Mark’s seriously okay with a party? After last time?!

 

Jackson was planning a party, and as his roommate this is the first Mark was hearing about it. He’d sworn to himself at the start of semester that he wouldn’t let another drunk girl kick him out of his bedroom, leaving him to sleep on the floor of Jackson’s room. He refused to mop up any beer that he didn’t spill, or for that matter any vomit that didn’t come out of him. He wasn’t dropping anyone he didn’t know to their boyfriends’ house or calling any Ubers for people who thought his name was ‘Matt’. No amount of drunken sex or showers of compliments were worth having another party at their place. Not this semester. No way.

 

Mark pushed his chair back, tucked his receipt into the page his was on to mark his place and unlocked his phone. Mark called out a goodbye to the barista as he was leaving the café. Before he reached out for the handle he glanced back at the guy who’d come in earlier. He didn’t even seem to notice Mark’s exit, let alone care that he was leaving. As Mark walked out the door he took one more look at the boy sitting, typing, at the long wooden table in the café. God, he was so handsome it was almost dangerous. You could walk into traffic for staring at him.

 

As the café’s doorbell rang out behind Mark, he opened his messaging app to tell Jackson that there was no way in hell that they were having anything remotely resembling a party.

 

(Sept. 30 – 3:22pm **)**

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Ugggggggh this is NOT happening.

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Did you talk to him?

 **DoubleB:** Lol I don't think “uggggggh” means they hit it off. Did you actually talk to him?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** 1) There’s no way in hell we’re having a party at ours Jackson

 **JackssssonWaaang:** WHAT? WHY?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** 2) I didn’t talk to him but omg he’s an angel!! He was studying so he must go to college around here!!!

 **ImJBDef:** Mark? Using exclamation marks? FIVE if I counted correctly!!

 **JackssssonWaaang:** HE’S IN LOVE!!! Why no party tho??

 **DoubleB:** lol with a guy he can’t have… is that wise?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Guys do we have to be friends with Bam or….?

 **DoubleB:** Lol idgaf, haters.  

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Lol let’s kick him out of the chat. BUT…. Why no party?

 **ImJBDef:** I second that, rude little shit

 **DoubleB:** No!! No, no wait!!! I have leads

 **Mark_Tuan93:** NO ONE MOVE. Bambam, ppeak or forever hold your piece

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Isn’t it peace? As in like keep chill? Also… about that party…..?

 **ImJBDef:** Piece? Like a gun?

 **JackssssonWaaang:** *watches Paid in Full once, thinks he’s from the hood*

 **Mark_Tuan93:** No... it’s piece like piece of the convo, like your say in the matter, right?

 **JackssssonWaaang:** idk you’re the English major…

 **Mark_Tuan93:** I’m undeclared lol

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  You’re a senior! You can’t be undeclared!!

 **Mark_Tuan93:** I mean… we’re all gonna be unemployed anyways so… but for real you should listen to me, I’m an English major

 **DoubleB:** Are y’all done or…? Should I just keep the fact that he possibly goes to Everett … and if it is the guy my friend thinks it is, you know my friend Eunji, she’s the girl with the boyfriend or cousin or whatever that I’m 200% sure is gay, or like 300% sure is bi. You know, that really short girl that always hangs around with that tall guy that's 100% into me?

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  is this a math question? Whats with all the numbers??

 **ImJBDef:** If two trains leave an hour apart what is the probability that Bambam is a narcissist?

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  X = 100%

 **Mark_Tuan93:** THIS ISN’T THE TIME (but lol)

  **DoubleB:** RUDE! Anyways I think it's the guy she knows, if it is him … then he’s Korean

 **ImJBDef:** Called it!

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  Okay. Name???

 **DoubleB:** CALM DOWN!! I don’t know for sure yet, she’s never talked to him. But his surname is Park. Apparently, he like never ever talks to people outside of class. He doesn’t even talk in class. He never raises his hand either but whenever he gets called he always knows the answer

 **Mark_Tuan93:** He was studying in the coffee shop so it’s probably hiiiiiim  <3 <3 my little brainiac

 **ImJBDef:** HEARTS?

 **DoubleB:** Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 **JackssssonWaaang:** “My” lol he doesn’t even know you! But more importantly 100% no party or… like is there a chaaaaaance

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Once Everett cutie is my boyfriend you can do what you want

 **DoubleB:** Lol cuz Mark’ll be sleepin’ somewhere else~~~

 **ImJBDef:** I call Mark’s room when he moves out

 **DoubleB:** I call Mark’s room even if he tries to move back in

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Lol neither of you can have it! Also… JB you live alone in a huge apartment???

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Thanks Jacks. Lol JB is just trying to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  cuz ya boy’s gonna turn it into a weights room

 **Mark_Tuan93:** -____-

 **JackssssonWaaang: ¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯**

 **ImJBDef:** I’m not trying to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) whatever the hell that means. Jacks can I work out there too??

 **DoubleB:** “work out” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is that what the kids are calling it?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** the kids!! You’re the youngest of us >.<”

 **DoubleB:** lol that looks like JB

 **ImJBDef:** I’ll admit, lowkey it does haha

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  But…. Party or nah? It’ll be super laid back I swear

 **Mark_Tuan93:** NO!!!!

 **DoubleB:** good luck with Everett boy~

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  hurry up and get married so I can have fun!!

**\---**

Bambam had just become Mark’s new best friend. While the boy’s name was still a mystery, the information that he apparently attended Everett gave Mark newfound hope. He would start hanging out uptown where all the snobby Everett kids hung out if it meant seeing him again.  Fitting mild stalking into his already overflowing schedule would be almost impossible though. He was already somehow exhausted, bored and busy all at once, and it was only week three of the semester. Professors were already doling out topics for assignments due before thanksgiving break, coursework was creeping in yet Mark still found time to play Overwatch for 4 hours straight almost every other night. He’d already begun spending a fortune in coffees, to keep on top of studying, gaming and hanging out with his friends. Mark had been coming to Birch so often that he’d learnt the name of the barista, Andy, that covered the most shifts. He’d even begun to take notice of the younger, newer – less experienced – barista that worked odd shifts. The kid was probably 19 or 20, around Bambam’s age. He was cute but couldn’t remember orders to save his life, so he wrote them on the scraps of receipt paper, which lost almost as soon as he put them down. Watching him look back at the board to make sure he’d spelt macchiato or ristretto right had become the highlight of Mark’s visits, until today. 

 

(Oct. 3rd– 2:29 pm)

 **Mark_Tuan93:** Guys… he’s not here

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  So leave…

 **ImJBDef:** lol yeah

 **Mark_Tuan93:** the barista on shift today is cute though

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  pic

 **DoubleB:** did someone say cute guy?

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Already forgotten about Everett boy?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** NEVER! I’m just stating facts

**Mark_Tuan93 Sent a picture**

**Mark_Tuan93:**  See!

 **DoubleB:**   He is cute! Not my type though

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Why? Cuz he doesn’t look like he owns a sex swing?

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  Lol

 **ImJBDef:** he is cute

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  EHHHH? JB? Feeling okay there?

 **DoubleB:**   lol someone call the straight police, JB is acting weird

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  Wow, someone’s feeling very _openminded_ today

 **ImJBDef:**  I say a guy is cute and y’all slate me?! I say stop talking about guys and suddenly I’m a homophobe?!?! I CAN’T WIN!!

 **DoubleB:**   Admit it, you’re lil bit bi….

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  everyone’s a little gay~~~

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  lol guys leave him alone, let him ogle the kid a little longer, then we can call the police

 **DoubleB:**   You’re right, we need to build a case against him, gather evidence

 **ImJBDef:**  fuck you Jackson!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Wow….really?

 **ImJBDef:**  huh?

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Fuck me?

 **ImJBDef:**  Yeah fuck you dude!!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  So wanna fuck me….?

 **ImJBDef:**  Wait what?

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  hahaha you walked into that one JB

 **DoubleB:**   lol!! 50 bucks says JB kisses a guy by the end of the semester

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  Nah that’s too soon, by new year! I’ll double that 50 bucks, says he kisses Jackson

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Guys stop… make it a 100 then we’ll talk

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  Deal

 **DoubleB:**   okay I’ll take that bet. If you fail you have to give us a hundred _each_

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  50

 **DoubleB:**   75

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  25….

 **DoubleB:**   okay, okay 50

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  JB… next time I see you, we’re kissing

 **ImJBDef:** WHAT! No way dude!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  don’t you wanna make a hundred bucks???

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  HEY! That’s cheating

 **ImJBDef:**   Not even for a hundred bucks dude.

 **DoubleB:**   REJECTED!!!

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  the cute barista looked over when I laughed

 **ImJBDef:** what’s his name?

 **DoubleB:**   100 bucks says JB kisses Jackson or the cute barista

 **ImJBDef:** oh my god……. Forget I even asked

 **ImJBDef:** In fact forget me! Forget my number! Forget my face

 **DoubleB:**   it’s not even memorable lol

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BURN!  Someone call the doctor!!

 **DoubleB:**   Lol my friend Kai always says that

 **ImJBDef:** we get it… you have other friends

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  lol notice how we never talk about other people bam? It’s rude ರ_ರ

 **ImJBDef:** says the guy that’s literally taking pictures of people and sending them into the chat

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  YAH! One was for love and the other was because YOU assholes asked.

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Mark hasn’t seen his boyfriend for like 2 days and now he’s lashing out! Someone call CPS

 **ImJBDef:** We’re his kids?

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  I mean he’s the oldest so…

 **DoubleB:**   Mark is the uncle that can never remember our names so just calls us ‘kiddo’ JB is our dad

 **ImJBDef:** why am I the dad? Jacksons logic makes more sense

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  I think Bam wins this one kiddo

 **DoubleB:**   lol, see ^ anyway don’t worry about Everett guy! He lives around here so you’ll see him! Just hang out where Everett kids hangout

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  didn't you say he was some kind of genius loner? He wouldn’t hangout in bars and stuff

 **DoubleB:**   maybe he just doesn’t like the people in his course? Everett kids are hard to like lol

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Yeah rich kids usually are…. cough JB cough

 **ImJBDef:** Lol you’d hang around people that go to Everett for that guy? He’s not even that cute

**Mark_Tuan93 removed ImJBDef from the chat room.**

**JackssssonWaaang:**  lol serves him right ahhaha

 **DoubleB:**   hahahahha fight for ya man Mark!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  lol guys JB sent me like forty-eight snake emojis, can I add him back?

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  tell him to watch his fuckin mouth

 **DoubleB:**   woooooh we got a badass over here!!!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Dead meme lol

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  wait… he can't see these if he comes back right?

 **DoubleB:**   lol mark thought he was top dog for like 0.0002 seconds haha

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  lol no he can’t see them

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  thank god!

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  he can see the screenshots I’m about to send him though….

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  NOOOO!

 **DoubleB:**   Get ready for the chin!!!! The chin!!!!

 **DoubleB:**   oh shit… crop that part out of the screenshot

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  too late lol

**JackssssonWaaang added ImJBDef to the chat room.**

**ImJBDef:** all of you except Jackson are dead to me…….

 **Mark_Tuan93:**  well in that case….

 **ImJBDef:** Don’t you do it! MARK!

**Mark_Tuan93 removed ImJBDef from the chat room.**

 

 

The next time he comes into the coffee shop is 5 days after the first time Mark saw him. He already felt familiar to Mark. This time he orders an Americano and sits in the same seat as last time. Mark sat in his usual spot. He’d finished the book he’d begun one the day he’d meet the diligent Everett student. Today he’d come straight from college, laptop in tow, in order to go over some coursework. He planned to barely look up from his computer, to start working through essay plans and gathering sources for the assignments he already needed to begin working on. At least that’s what Mark had planned. Instead, he spent his time in the café marvelling at the sight before him. Everett boy, as Mark and his friends had dubbed him, was reading _his_ book. The book Mark had been reading in here, in his presence, barely a week ago. He had to have noticed Mark, this was concrete evidence that he’d at least looked Mark’s way long enough to catch the title of the book he’d been reading.

The only two realistic possibilities were both enough to make Mark giddy. The guy had either looked at Mark, looked at the book and thought it seemed interesting enough to buy. Judging by how far he’d gotten through it he was liking it enough not to give up on the somewhat messed up novel completely. The second option was almost better in Mark’s eyes. Everett boy may have found the book through pure coincidence. Meaning they had similar tastes. They’d have plenty to talk about, hopefully. Even while fantasizing about ‘Everett boy’ as he had been dubbed by Bambam, Mark still couldn't shake his fear of not being able to talk to him about anything. Or worse, not living up to any possible expectations Everett boy had. Though judging by Everett boy’s complete lack of interest in anything other than his book and his laptop, Mark doubted that he had any expectations of him at all. The younger guy hadn't looked in Mark’s direction once while Mark was attempting to study. After a little more than two hours, Mark close his laptop and began heading for the door. As Mark left Everett boy looked up, but unfortunately not at him. At the new kid, the young barista, who had offered him a refill on the house. ‘For god’s sake’ Mark thought, ‘this kid’s gonna seduce him with free coffee.’ Why had everyone Mark had gone to high school with as a pole, but now, when it really mattered, he was surrounded by competition?

\--- 

That night Mark, Jackson, Bambam – and begrudgingly – Jaebum devised a plan. Mark would talk to him. The first chance he got he’d say anything to Everett boy. Even ‘hey’ even ‘uhhh’ anything was okay as long as he just spoke to the guy and stopped flooding their group chat with his musings about Everett boy. Whether Mark managed to talk to him or not, he had to sit near him. After Mark went in, Jackson was supposed to come ten or so minutes later, as though they were waiting to meet each other there. Jackson was supposed to be ‘the objective eye’ and report whether Everett boy seemed nice or not back to the group.

Bambam had torn through Mark’s – and Jackson’s – closets trying to piece together an outfit that was casual, but attractive. Upon Bambam’s suggestion Mark had worn his only _nice_ watch, in an attempt to impress Everett boy.

Mark got to the café at around 11 o’clock. And he was there! He was reading the same book and Mark let himself let grin a little bit as he walked up to Andy, who nodded his head slightly towards Everett boy. Had Mark been that obvious for the past week and a half?

 

He ordered an iced Americano, but opted for a to go cup, in the event that he messed up completely and had to book it out of there, even before Jackson arrived. As Mark walked past him he said the first thing that came to his mind, the first thing that is other than ‘Are you single? Do you date guys? You like me too, right?’

 

“It’s great” Mark said before his brain began to go into meltdown mode. The two words rang out in his head upon the realisation he had just spoken to the first person he’d had a crush on, ever. All Mark could think was ‘oh fuck. Oh. Fuck.’ As Mark tried to hide his increasing anxiety, Everett boy looked up, with a slightly confused, distant expression. As Mark recognized the fact that he had just said ‘it’s great’ without any useful context he blurted out, “the book I mean.” Everett boy closed his book, looked at Mark, and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be finished Chp. 2 today, so please leave a comment if you're enjoying this so far and would like me to just upload it, or if i should save it for later. I don't have a beta but I try to read through once or twice before i post. If there's any mistakes, or if something doesn't seem right please let me know :) 
> 
> Also please give feedback on the way i laid out the text messages, let me know if it would be easier to have the long passages of texts as well as shorter ones in the story :)  
> Update: the fic is about to get depressing and af so I just put the texts into the main block of writing, they're also kind of important for later parts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I was going to publish Mark's part at the same time as this one. But to 'celebrate' 10 kudos I'll just upload this early. So many people have bookmarked this already (5 is a lot to me lol) and ugh... if I could find some other way to express how shocked and happy I am I would, but all I can say is thank you. <3

CHAPTER 3

Jinyoung

A handsome guy with well died white blonde hair comes bounding into the café. The only other two people in here, girls, take notice of him instantly and watch as he walks over to our table.

 

I’m trying not to freak out but… Is he your boyfriend? Why would you start talking to me if you had a boyfriend? Will you do that when _I’m_ your boyfriend?

 

It’s okay, he’s shorter than me. But fuck, he’s got a really good body. And a really nice face. And maybe you like short-ish guys. Maybe I’m too tall for you? Maybe you don’t even like guys.

 

Suddenly I feel sick and angry and sad all at the same time. Suddenly I hate you for leading me on like this. Why have you been here almost every day if you don't even like me? If you don't even like guys. Both baristas that work here think you’re cute, I think you’re cute, and this guy, whatever his name is, probably does too. Judging by how easily he sits down even though there’s another person here, he knows you can’t get mad at him. Even though _I’m_ here. He knows he’s above me in your eyes. He slings his arm over your shoulder. And I could cry.

 

“Jackson!” you say, and suddenly you’re saying something quickly in… Chinese?

He responds in Chinese and stretches his hand out to me, what a prick.

“Hi, I’m Jackson. Mark’s” let me guess. Boyfriend? “Best friend.”

Oh. _Oh._ Okay.

 

My shoulders drop back to where they should be, and I loosen my grip on my – our – book and reach for his hand.

“Hi, I’m Jinyoung Park.” I’m Mark’s nothing.

 

Jackson hums and says “Everett? Do you go to Everett University?”

 

How the fuck does he know that?

 

“Yeah, you?”

He shakes his head and smiles, “Nah we go to Briar U. Not as fancy as Everett” he says as he laughs. We. How close are you two?

“So, are you from out of State?”

“Actually, I’m from Hong Kong! I’m on a scholarship for fencing. And Markie is a Cali baby so… he moved up here for college.”

He could have just said yes.

“Ha! You didn’t have to tell him our whole life stories Jackson” you say as you slide his arm off you. You’re still on my side. Good boy.

 

“Oh! Sorry” he says, but it in cutesy Korean, and you reply to him  saying something quickyly in Chinese. What’s happening? Since when does no one speak English?

 

“You speak Korean?” I ask, in Korean.

“Uh, yeah. A really close hyung of ours is Korean, so…”

 

“So, you’re a sophomore, right? You’ve only been speaking Korean for less than two years? You’re really good.”

“Thanks, but actually, I’ve known Mark and that Hyung since before college, so we’ve been learning it for a while.”

 

“How did you know them?”

 

“I just knew ‘em” he says with a slight smirk.

 

Why the fuck is this kind already speaking banmal to me?

 

“Sorry but… how old are you?”

 

“I was born in ‘94”

 

Me too, jackass. “Oh, when?”

 

He laughed “Oh, because I’m dropping honorifics? Sorry it’s a bad habit” he says, more politely now.

 

I glance over to you, and you’re shaking your head. “Sorry about him. His pretend boyfriend is Korean.”

“Ya!” He says, before saying something in quick, again in Chinese, that I couldn’t decipher. You laugh and apologise for having a side-line conversation, in English this time.

 

“Who do you know around here that’s Korean. Maybe my parents know them or something?”

 

“Oh, his name is Jaebum Lim.” You say his name so cutely, as though you can’t speak any Korean at all. But you’ve both just proven otherwise.

You correct yourself by saying “Do you know him, Im Jaebum?” I shake my head no, but I file his name away just in case.

 

You tell me his parents own a few restaurants in California as well as two up here. Once you tell me the name I can’t say I’m not shocked. There’s more than ‘a few’ of them. I’ve heard of them. A franchise of fancy Korean BBQ places. I went to one once with my sister, and now I’m pissed that I liked it so much.  I can’t help but think that he’s probably rich, and the fact that I’ve contributed to his wealth pisses me off.  As you talk about him you call him ‘Jaebum-ah’ or ‘Jaebummie’ so you must be older than me, if the blonde guy is calling him hyung, yet talking to me like we’re the best of friends. The thought of you saying things like ‘Hyung’ll pay’ or ‘be good for hyung, Jinyoung-ah’ makes my heart start pounding. I already know going to have a heart attack one day because of you.

 

The conversation dries up after all the Jaebum talk and you look at your coffee.

 

“Jackson don’t you want anything?” you ask him, and I look to him to see what he’ll say.

 

“Oh, you wanna stay?” He says in English, to make sure we all knew the turn this conversation was taking. The sharp turn towards a dead end.

 

I don’t want to look at you, I want your response to be organic. I don't want to guilt you into staying. But I look at Jackson. And he looks at me too, and that's when I see it. That little something. The cogs clicking together and turning something bigger, spurring it into motion. He’s playing me.

 

I’m sure you know he’s mining me for information, but do you know how? How this guy, your best friend, is laying traps for me to fall into. How he’s been laying traps since he got here. Since you got here probably. I feel giddy all of a sudden. I can’t decide if I hate him or hate that he’s not _my_ best friend.

 

I have to act before you say something.

“You should get something. The coffee here is really good. Are you a coffee person?”

“Tea” he says, smiling at me. Is he smiling because he knows I’ve caught on, now that I’m being less curt with him. Or is it just because he knows he has a nice smile.

“Ah, health freak?”

“Kind of” he laughs, “could you tell?”

“You seem really fit so…” I see him nudge your thigh with his knee and you take a sip of your coffee to hide your grin. Yeah, I checked out your best friend. And yeah, I all but called him hot. You seem more thankful than jealous. And I know I’ve made it past the first hurdle. You could have just asked me if I like guys you know. You could have just asked me out.

 

Jackson picks up the hat you’d been wearing when you came in and slaps you on the back of the head lightly with it. “Stop stealing my things!” He whines as he puts the hat on with the brim facing backwards. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t look great. You looked better though.

 

He rolls his eyes and sighs, “roommates, right?”  the second subliminal question. Though this one is way more obvious. I know it can't be just to see if I live alone.

 

“Ha, yeah, that’s why I live alone” I say. “I hate people touching my things.”

 

Jackson and I both glance at you quickly, too quickly for you to notice, you’re too busy being nervous. I wonder just how well you know him. Or rather how well you think you know him. He’s not just some cute health freak, or a jokester. I can see through that act already. I smile and wonder how many wolves in sheep’s clothing you have around you. The thought of you being like this too. Like me. Fucked up. It’s too much.

Suddenly all my blood rushes south and I can’t hear anything you’re saying. My ears are ringing, and my jeans feel too tight. I feel like I’m passing out. If I did would you give me CPR? Your lips are moving, and they look so soft, you’re looking into my eyes and all I can think about is you. My head is filled with the thought of what it’d be like to just reach over and

“Jinyoung?”

“Yes?”

“Jinyoung what’s your… major?” you ask. I wonder how long you’ve been talking, how many times you’ve had to say my name while I was just staring at you.

 

“Oh, uh I’m undeclared so far. I’m thinking of doing a double major though. English and Film production.”

“Ah! Jaebum hyung is a double major too. Doesn’t he do Film Production and something else?” Jackson says looking at you. “Doesn’t he do Film studies?” you reply.

Jackson turns to me and asks, “aren’t they the same?”

I laugh even though I know this kid is fucking with me. “They wouldn’t be called different things if they were the same, Jackson” you say before I have the chance to. I smile because you can read my mind. Jackson rolls his eyes because apparently, he can too.

 

An awkward silence descends again. And I can’t stand the thought of watching you two leave together. Probably to go talk about me.

 

I look down at my phone and thank god there’s a text from my sister. I curse under my breath, loudly enough for both of you to hear.  And I pretend to reply.

                                        

I look up and push my hair out of my eyes, you watch my hand move and then look in my eyes. I feel like we’re thinking the same thing right now. And all the air leaves the room. I have to leave now. While you still want me. I have to leave you with something to think about. I have to go before I do something stupid. But I’ve never wanted to be stupid more than right now.

 

“Sorry, I have to go pick up my sister’s dog from the vet. She’s out of town so…”

 

“That’s so nice of you” Jackson says as he laughs at your expression. You look like I just said I had to go preform heart surgery on a baby. Honestly, I feel like a bit of a hero. Shame she has a dogsitter taking care of that already.

You watch me as I stand up and pick up my book, our book, and put it in my backpack with the rest of my stuff.

 

“I’ll see you around though” I say as I spin my phone in my hand a few times and slip into my front pocket. Come on Mark. Notice. Ask.

“Oh! Tuan, my last name’s Tuan so…” You shrug your shoulders slightly. You aren’t used to being this forward.

“Ah, I don’t have a Facebook.” And it’s true. But I do have an Instagram account. But this isn’t the time to be offering up everything about myself. You need to work a little. I need to know. How badly do you want me?

You stretch your hand out without saying a word, and Jackson is grinning at seemingly nothing. I can't help but look at him as I reach into my pocket and pass you my phone.

 

“I’m not really one for texting” I say, more to Jackson than you.

You finish punching in your number and look up at me, you grin and say, “so call.”

 

My heart explodes.

 

I can feel myself smiling even though I’m trying to play it cool. It’s good though. You should know that I like you, that I want you.

 

You make a peace sign and close your eyes. This is the first time in my life I’ve seen someone take a contact picture. It’s also the first time I’ve seen someone take a selfie and be happy with the first one. I feel like I should congratulate myself for not passing out on the spot. For not grabbing your hand and dragging you out of here right now. For keeping calm.

 

Park Jinyoung, well done.

 

You stretch your hand out and pass me my phone, our fingers brush and I swear to god, I can’t breathe. I have a picture of you. I know you’ve got one of me too, you’re not as subtle as you think you are. But this one is different. This is a gift. You stole yours.

I look over to Jackson, he’s already looking at me. I pass him my phone and he taps out his number. He holds my phone in his hand for a beat before passing it back to me. I didn’t need to look at you to know you were shooting him daggers. 

“So, taking selfies on other people’s phones isn’t a trope of yours then?” I ask as I pocket my phone.

“Trope! God, you _are_ an English major” he says, avoiding the question. I like that.

I look over at you and you’re already looking at me, you were faking a smile until we made eye contact, I can tell. I let myself look at you for too long. You start smiling, really smiling. And I smile too, because you’re beautiful.

On the walk home, I can’t think of anything but your smile, and that photo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you spotted any mistakes that I missed, please let me know :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark POV chapter after Jinyoung leaves the coffee shop, and AmeriThaiKong ft JB basically fanboy over Jinyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad i could get a chapter out today. Tell me what you guys think please <3 every comment and kudo genuinely means so much. Right now the fic is still in a really fluid stage so let me know if theres any things you'd like to see. I have a few general outlines but nothing's set in stone yet so please give lots of feedback <3 <3 <3

CHAPTER 4

Mark

 

**(Oct. 6th– 12:33 pm)**

**Mark_Tuan93:** I talked to him today~

 **DoubleB:** OKAY wait what! I want to hear this in person, so I can laugh at your dumb lovesick face!!!!

 **JackssssonWaaang:** He’s nice. Mark gave him his number

 **DoubleB:** Wait you’re together still? MARK DID WHAT??!! Why didn’t you leave and let them talk?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** he had to go dog sit or something for his sister

 **DoubleB:** did Jackson do the thing?

 **ImJBDef:** the thing where he suddenly figures out a person’s whole life by like smelling them or something

 **DoubleB:** the ‘I’m a psychology major’ magic trick

 **JackssssonWaaang:** you two shut up!!

 **DoubleB:**  so anyway JB’s or Markson’s? Should I bring champagne?

 **Mark_Tuan93:** hahahaha champagne! Lol we’re going home now so just come to ours

 **DoubleB:** I’ll bring food, JB hyung bring drinks

 **ImJBDef:** Drinks?? It’s not even 1 pm yet. And aren’t you underage….

 **JackssssonWaaang:** Hyung you say that every time

 **DoubleB:** then he charges me a ten-dollar silence fee not to tell my mom

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  I want a cut of that!

 **DoubleB:** I’m almost 20 now anyways, you can tell my mom she won’t care. Drinking age in Thailand is 20

 **ImJBDef:** Almost 20 sounds a lot like 19…. I won’t buy you alcohol anymore

 **DoubleB:**  pfft fine! Jaaaaackson hyuuuung~~~

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  CUUUUTE! I’ll get you anything you want

 **ImJBDef:** HEY! Don’t encourage this kind of behaviour or I’ll tell on you

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  lol to who bitch?

 **ImJBDef:**  the scholarship board…

JackssssonWaaang:  ……. you’re a fucking snake

 **ImJBDef:**  YA! Who are you talking to like that? Can I get a little respect?! I’m older than half the people in this chat, yet somehow I’m the only one that gets given shit! Between being called a little bitch by a _teenager_ and Wang mouthing off at me every other second…. I swear to god I’m sick of it

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  sorry

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  Hyung… you’re a fucking snake

 **ImJBDef:**  you little brat.

 **ImJBDef:**  you know what, fine! I’m not coming over then

 **JackssssonWaaang:**  good

 **DoubleB:**   lol good

 **Mark_Tuan93:** good….

 **ImJBDef:**  (⚆ _ ⚆)

 **ImJBDef:**  guys wait…

\---

After stopping at the convenience store Jackson and Mark were barely home five minutes before their bell rang. “Hey, buzz Bam and JB in will you” Jackson call out, as he threw himself down on the couch. He knew JB would steal his spot once he and Bambam got into their apartment. Mark walked over to the intercom system and buzzed them in, just to let Jackson have even 10 more seconds to laze around out on the couch before he was dethroned.

 

The pair hadn’t talked about Jinyoung at all since they’d left the café. All Jackson had said was ‘yeah really’ when Mark had asked him if he’d meant it when he’d told the others that he thought Jinyoung was nice. Nice meant nothing, flowers are nice, potatoes are nice when they’re sliced and fried and turned into French fries, clean socks are nice. Mark wanted the guy he liked to be a little bit better than clean socks in his best friend’s eyes.

 

The sound of the front door clicking open was the only warning Mark got before a lanky nineteen-year-old was on his back with an arm around his neck. As Mark disentangled Bambam from around him he watched JB, true to form, walk straight over to Jackson and kick his legs off the couch and sat down on the now free section. Jackson swung his legs onto JB’s thighs and surprisingly, all Jaebum did was glare at him. More often than not Jackson’s minor acts of affection were met with complaint, though in the end the result was always the same – a minor fight which Jackson would always win, and as his prize he’d continue doing whatever he and Jaebum had fought about.

 

Bambam took note of Jaebum’s rare display of patience and descended on them, leaving Mark holding a plastic bag with cold two six packs nestled in the folds of the plastic. Mark put one of them in the fridge, beside the identical one he and Jackson had bought not ten minutes ago, and then made his way to sit down. He sat cross legged on the floor by the coffee table and pulled a can out of its little plastic noose. He tossed it to Jackson and pulled another out for himself, then slide the remaining for in Jaebum and Bambam’s direction.

“So…” Bambam said as he leant down to pull out two beers for himself and JB “what’s he like? Other than ‘nice’”

 “Ask Jackson.” Mark said as coyly as he could, he wanted to know Jackson’s answer to this too. The other two turned to the sulky blonde and he shrugged as best he could while lying down. “He’s Korean, he’s called Jinhyun and he seems nice.”

 

“Jinyoung” Mark corrected. He’d done that on purpose and Mark knew it.

 

“Oh yeah, Jinyoung, sorry” Jackson continued, “he’s good-looking, and fairly tall, like JB’s height or taller maybe.  And he does film production”

“I thought he was an English major, that’s what Eunji is” Bambam said. “He’s a double major” Jackson and Mark said in unison. JB cracked open his beer and leaned back on the couch, sensing Jackson’s lack of forthcoming he said “so, he’s a handsome, tall, double-major at _Everett_ and you don't seemed thrilled.” He paused, letting Jinyoung’s apparent perfect sink in then asked, “what do you think is wrong with him, Doc?”

Jackson looked at JB and said nothing for a second. “I don’t know, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I don’t think there’s anything _wrong_ , he just seemed… I don’t know maybe he was just nervous. I mean he obviously liked Mark.”

 

Before he could stop himself, Mark murmured, “are you sure it’s _me_ he likes?” before pointedly taking a a long drink of his beer.

 

JB and Bam exchanged looks and turned to look at Mark impatiently. “Ask Jackson” was all Mark said for the second time.

 

“Wait, are you guys fighting over a guy? Seriously?” JB asked before laughing, he looked at Jackson as though he was waiting for an rational explanation for Mark’s snippy comments.

 

“No way, Mark’s just upset that Jinyoung didn’t spend as much time staring at him as Mark did staring at Jinyoung.” Jackson sat up suddenly and it seemed as though a switch turn on. He went from being over the whole Jinyoung situation, to being ready to become a master storyteller in nanoseconds.

 

“Eh? Staring? Our Mark Hyung!” Bambam said as he stretched his leg out to kicked Mark’s under the table. “When did our LA gangster become so easy?” he said with a laugh before taking a sip of beer.

 

Easy? 

 

“Was I being easy? Was I being too obvious?' Mark wondered out loud, more to himself than his friends.

Jackson jumped up and yelled “Mark! You took a selfie on _his_ _phone_!” at that JB and Bam threw their heads back in laughter. The slight dread Mark had been feeling at the prospect that he’d blown his chances began to die down a little. Seeing his friends in such hysterics he couldn't help but to laugh too.

 

“Guys you should have been there! The guy says something like ‘Honestly I don’t like texting very much’ and Mark, oh my god, Mark literally says ‘so call me’” Jackson punctuated his sentence with a flirtatious wink, causing Mark to begin a fervent denial that made Jackson’s white lie seem all the more real.

“Mark!” Bambam shrieked before reaching across the table to high-five him. “Hyung wow, that’s a ballsy move.” Jaebum, switching to dad mode, put his hand up and said “wait, wait can we start from the beginning?”

 

Mark began telling them about how he and Jinyoung had barely talked for a few minutes before Jackson, who’d arrived earlier than planned, began pulling Mark’s attention away from Jinyoung. Once Mark had reach the part wherein Jackson and Jinyoung’s terse conversation had begun, Jackson began telling his portion of the story; in a manner far more animated than Mark could have. He’d taken a total 180 degrees turn since JB and Bambam arrived. He attached a story or a joke to every miniscule reaction Mark or Jinyoung had had. He found humour where Mark had only been nervous. His rendition of the afternoon’s events had Bambam and Jaebum near tears already.

 

“Guys, I swear” Jackson professed, as he opened a second beer, “Mark had literal hearts in his eyes the whole time. And when he asked him what his major was he didn’t reply for like 10 seconds because he was too busy staring!”

“Wait, who was staring?” Bam asked, quickly reaching out for another can before JB could smack his hand away.

“Jinyoung was! Mark was like ‘what’s your major?’” Jackson cupped his face in his hands and batted his eyelashes when he said Mark’s ‘line’, something Mark was sure he didn’t do. Nonetheless it had Bam and JB howling with laughter. “But Jinyoung” Jackson continued, “he was just there like staring at Mark’s freakin’ mouth the whole time. You’d think Mark had ‘eat me’ stamped on his forehead or something. He was looking at him like he was a snack!”

“Hey!” Mark finally interjected, “he was looking at you just as much as me” Jackson shot him a look that Mark had come to know meant ‘get over yourself, dude’.

“Yeah but, he was looking at me like ‘get lost’ he was looking at you like ‘get naked’” at that Bambam started screaming “HYUNG!” and jumped into Mark’s lap, sloshing beer on the floor in the process.

“Hyung! Hyung someone’s got a crush on you~” he sang as he ruffled Mark’s slightly too long bangs.

“People have crushes on Mark all the time” JB murmured. Jackson hummed in agreement. Mark couldn’t deny it. People hadn’t always given Mark much attention. As he grew older and moved from the realm of gangly, awkward teen, to stoic, introspective young adult he got a taste of what popularity was like. He could still remember coming back to high school after a summer split between working as a camp counsellor, and blowing the money he’d earned in Hong Kong – both with Jaebum and Jackson. After filling out a bit and maturing a lot he’d begun to hear ‘hey, Mark’ a lot more around the halls. He could never really get past casual flirting, or friendly chit-chat.

As he grew up more and moved away from home and across the country to attend Briar University the attention followed. It had evolved from the juvenile ‘my friend thinks your cute, but she won’t say’ to the more mature but equally vapid ‘how old are you, can I buy you a drink.’ The frequency had increased when Jackson had convinced him to dye his hair the honey blonde colour it was now. On campus Mark was used to being ‘Jackson’s cute friend’ and on nights out he was happy to accept a drink and – attempt – to talk to its sender, male or female. But nothing had ever lead to anything more than a quick release, instant satisfaction, and then being hurled with accusations of being ‘shallow’  or a playboy once his brief flames found he had no romantic interest in them at all.  He’d never experienced anything as exciting and intimidating and _real_ as being liked by someone like Park Jinyoung. This felt. This was the first time, in almost 24 years that Mark had liked someone who liked him too. Someone who really liked him.

 

Bam climbed out of Mark’s lap and sat down beside by on Mark’s side of the coffee table. Jackson continued his story, telling the others about the dog; which Bam ‘aw’ed at for nearly a full 60 seconds. He told them about the selfie and about how Jinyoung didn’t have a Facebook account; which Jaebum hummed approvingly of, though he’d only deactivated his about a week and a half ago – declaring that he was sick of people sub-posting about either how hot or how ‘chic’ or stuck up he was. ‘My mom keeps getting her friends’ daughters to send me friend requests. I know they’re more like dating proposals and I can’t take it anymore’ he’d said before throwing in the proverbial towel.

 

“So, Mark” Bam said with the inkling to start mischief already running through his voice like a purr, “what are you going to do now?” Mark shrugged. It’d been nearly 3 hours since Jinyoung had left the coffee shop. And unless driving all the way to Alaska to pick up the dog, he’d probably be home by now. He hadn’t sent Mark a text, and Mark couldn’t contact him if even if he wanted too. And god, did he want to. But want and ability were not the same thing. The ball of nerves forming in Mark’s stomach at the thought of a prolonged, virtually inescapable – at least not tackfully escapable – conversation with Jinyoung was terrifying. What if Jinyoung just didn’t reply. Or worse. What if he and Mark started up a rapport, only for Mark to send the wrong thing and become a victim of ‘ghosting’.

“He said he didn’t have a Facebook…” said Jackson, who was by now standing and making his way menacingly towards Mark, “but he never said he didn’t have anything else.” Jackson stood, tapping his fingers on his chin, pantomiming being deep in thought. “What social media would a sophomore, or junior, _film production_ major at a fancy _,_ private, _picturesque_ college like Everett have? Where could we stalk someone like that?” Before Mark could even piece together the cryptic information, Jackson was reaching across the coffee table, making a grab for Mark’s phone.

“When did you put your fingerprint on there!” Mark yelled as Jackson unlocked his phone. “You were drunk and told me you trusted me more than anyone” Jackson said, wiping away an invisible tear, looking up at the ceiling as though he were talking about a best friend that had long since left this earth.

 

Jackson made his way over to Mark and Bambam’s side of the coffee table and sat down beside Mark. Jaebum, who was pretending to be annoyed that he had to move all of 4 feet to where the other three had gathered, made his way over as well. Jackson had already opened up Instagram and had only typed ‘Jiny’ before he and Mark both spotted a tiny circle with a picture of one of the most handsome guys the four of them had ever seen. They all screamed, denigrating into a fit of giddy hysteria, even Jaebum.

“Wait, wait!” Mark shouted before taking a deep breath, “okay, go!” Right on cue Jackson tapped the profile and they all silently thanked god that it wasn’t on private.

 

The first thing Mark saw was a picture of a girl who looked nearly identical to Jinyoung hugging him as he made a dorky face, ‘that must be his sister’ Mark thought as the intial pang of jealousy died down. The first thing Bam saw was Jinyoung’s follower count. “Holy shit, is he a celebrity or something?” Bambam yelled, grabbing the phone from Jackson’s hands.

 I looked at the follow count, he had Thirty-seven _thousand_ people following him. I’d thought Bambam’s 9 thousand plus followers was impressive, but 65k?! That was more people than the number of students at Everett and Briar combined. Twice. “Let’s look through! Let’s look!” Jaebum said, not bothering to hide his excitement anymore. Jackson took the phone back and tapped the column button, arranging Jinyoung’s photos in a neat row, to avoid any ‘spoilers’.

 

 After the picture with his sister there was a selfie of him being licked by a chocolate-coloured wavy-haired dog. The next one was of a place Mark would have recognised anywhere, it was of the plants and blackboard in the coffee shop he’d just come from. Taken from the inside as the last of the day’s natural light flooded in from the long glass window, throwing a golden hue over everything inside. When we got to the fourth picture Jaebum, Jackson and Bambam all erupted in a united ‘wow’.  It was a selfie of Jinyoung, lying in bed, with early morning light highlighting half his face in rose gold, his head was resting on his forearm and he was looking into the camera, with his hair brush up, smiling slightly. The photo reminded Mark of Jinyoung carding his hands through his hair as he talked to him and Jackson. The photo made it look like he’d only just woken up and turned around to look at the person beside him. It made it look as though he’d just woken up beside whomever was looking at the photo. The thought of waking up and checking Instagram, to be greeted with that first thing in the morning… they all understood why Jinyoung had so many followers.

 

“Fuck it” Mark heard Jackson say and suddenly the heart near the bottom right corner of the picture – the wonderful, perfect picture –  turned red.  He locked the phone and tossed it on the couch across the living room. For no unifying reason, they began screaming at each other. Mark at Jackson for liking the picture; Jaebum at Jackson for ending the fun; Bambam at Mark for overreacting and Jackson – well he was just screaming, pointing at the phone yelling “I had to! It was a favour” over and over until Mark’s phone screen flashed and the four of them all fell silent.

 

Mark looked at Jackson, who after years of friendship understood what Mark was pleading with him to do. He needed someone to break the bad news to him. Jackson walked over to the  phone and started grinning before he passed it to Mark.

Mark looked down at his lockscreen and understood what the sly smile was for. Jaebum and Bambam started laughing and a round of high-fives made their way to Jackson. The commotion died down and was replaced with praise for Jackson’s forward thinking. “See, it turned out well, right?” Jackson said, coming back to sit beside Mark. But all Mark could do was stare down at his phone and smile like an idiot.

There was a text message that read; “Hey, stalker” Followed by an Instagram notification.

@ParkNyeong has followed you.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

                                  Mark                                    

Once Bambam’s laughter had subsided to a faint chuckle he said, “okay boys” and clapped his hands together. He snatched Mark’s phone and held it above his head. Mark made a weak attempt at lunging for the phone, but in his position – held tight between Jaebum and Jackson – he had no chance of getting anywhere close to it. Bam unzipped his bomber jacket and tossed it aside, he brandished Mark’s phone high above his head again and said ‘this piece of metal and glass represents our one gateway to Park Jinyoung. We ha—”

“Wait!” Jackson called out, throwing a hand into the air like a little kid in class, “can we have a code name?” Bam jumped up and down excitedly, losing all his pomp from seconds earlier and said, “excellent idea!! Okay how about Project GMDW”

“What does Project GMDW mean?” Jaebum and Mark asked in unison. As if by magic, or some sort of Hollywood-esque pre-planning Jackson and Bambam replied without hesitation; “Project Get Mark’s Dick Wet. Duh.”

“Oh, for fuck sake! We’re not calling it that” Jaebum groaned as he stood up and grabbed Mark’s phone. Mark reached a hand out, ready to thank Jaebum for being so mature but ot his surprise Jaebum held the phone high above his own head and said, “today commences day one of project JYP.”

 

“Juicy Yien ft. Peach?” Jackson asked earning a glare from Jaebum. JB took the bait and asked, “what the _fuck_ does that even mean?”

Jackson stood up this time and said, “well Yien aka Mark aka Markiepooh is the cutest and youthful and innocent out of all of us even though he’s the oldest therefore he’s the juici—

“That’s enough.” Jaebum said in before Jackson could finish his, atrocious, sentence. 

“Rude. Anyway, Jinyoung’s nickname can be Peach…” Jackson paused for effect, sensing everyone’s growing mix of curiosity and impatience he continued, “because he’s got a cute little bu—”

“JYP stands for Jinyoung Park, you pervert!” Jaebum shouted, finally tired of Jackson’s… well tired of Jackson.

“JYP can be whatever you want it to be, hyung” Bambam said, giving Jackson two approving thumbs up despite JB’s expression, an expression – it seemed – he saved only for Jackson. A mix of disgust and slight adoration. He was trying to be angry despite wanting to laugh. Maybe he was disgusted by how much he adored him, maybe he adored how grossly inappropriate Jackson could be sometimes. Mark didn’t even think Jaebum had quite figured out what he was feeling. Jaebum had always fluctuated between wanting to punch Jackson and wanting to hug him. Cycling between the poles of irritation and infatuation.

 

“Anyway, Project JYP – Jinyoung Park – begins today! Firstly”, Jaebum said suddenly switching to Korean, “we have to reply!”

“Wrong!” Bam replied in causal Korean, earning a sideways glare from their unofficial leader, “First Mark hyung needs to follow him back!”

“Ahh” Jackson and JB sighed. Realising that Bam was more proficient in not only dating but general human interactions, Jaebum handed the phone back to Bambam, who passed it to Jackson to get him to unlock it. Though Mark was now unrestrained he didn't trust himself enough to try to get his phone back, not now that he had Jinyoung’s phone number. No matter how much they teased him, Mark knew they wouldn't do anything that would push Jinyoung away on purpose. They wouldn’t wreck this chance for him, not after how often he’d come to them, dejected, after being told ‘you’re really handsome, but you never say anything’ or ‘I guess we don’t have much in common’ by people in the past. Mark was grateful for having a group of friends with such seemingly mismatched personalities. There was artistic Bambam, so obsessed with having fun, partying, and seeing and creating beautiful things that he sometimes seemed vapid or superficial. Though Mark new it was all in an attempt to wash away all the ugliness he’d seen in his short life. Jackson who was loud and brash and just seemed like all he wanted was attention, just wanted to be told that he was good enough. Being pushed from such a young age to be the masterful athlete that he was to today, he must have heard – countless times – that he needed to do, be, more. He needed to show people he could make them laugh, show them how witty and clever he was, make them think he was more than just some jock. Jaebum, who could have almost anything he wanted, only wanted to protect his heart. Even from his friends at times. He just didn't want to give everything he had to someone, only to be used and pushed away. So, he pushed first, never letting anyone outside of their group of four get too close. Mark supposed that’s the charm of his group of friends. They were all a little broken, a little too loud or in his case too quiet. They barely fit into the casings they had been poured into, but with each other they could do – be – anything. They were assholes to each other at times, but they were a family first and foremost.

 

“Mark hyung, would you care to do the honours?” Bambam said as he took a knee and presented Mark’s phone to him as though he were presenting a gift to royalty. Jackson began humming an attempt at a regal tune, which slowly devolved into the Bridal March, eliciting a laugh from all of them as Mark tapped blue ‘Follow’ button on Jinyoung’s page. A delicate round of applause ensued, and Mark couldn’t help but laugh. He loved his weirdoes so much.

 

“Next” Bambam said, once the brief applause came to an end, “we reply to his text”

“Shouldn't we wait first?” Jaebum said, earning a round of

“No” Bambam deadpanned.

“No!” Mark called out, reaching for his phone – lest Bambam actually change his mind.

“God no! This is why you’re single” Jackson whispered loud enough for JB, and the whole neighbourhood, to hear.

“We have to think of what to say, so there’s no point in waiting.” Bam patiently explained, JB nodded his head and Jackson shook his and murmured “amateur” under his breath.

“Should we respond in a friendly-jokey way, or in a flirty way?” Jaebum asked, slowly getting the hang of what questions to ask.  Mark thought this must be hard for him, not only was the target a guy but also, Jaebum didn’t flirt with people, he was flirted with. Jaebum didn’t ask people out, he waded through applicants. Practically all he had to do was point at a girl and say ‘you, come here.’ The only person that refuses to admit JB’s charm is probably—

“Duh…Funny!” Jackson suggested loudly, “how about ‘I admit it, I’m a stalker!’” Jackson said in Korean. The mix of honorifics and cuteness was endearing, probably something Mark would send to one of the guys as a joke. But Mark didn't want it to be something like that. Jinyoung wasn’t just a friend.

 

“How about ‘says you, you followed me first.’” Jaebum chimed in, earning a nod from Bam, our resident dating coach.

“What do you think Mark?” Bam asked, as he showed Mark Jinyoung’s message. Who knew a little grey bubble would be the cause of so much stress.

 

“Um I think JB’s one is good, but can you make it… less like something JB would say?” Mark felt an elbow dig into his rib, courtesy of Im Jaebum.

“So less mean?” Bam said, knowing JB was too lazy to get up and that he wouldn't waste perfectly drinkable beer by throwing his can at him.

“How about ‘haha didn’t you follow me first?’” Jackson said and we all nodded in agreement.

“Okay, His message came in 7 minutes ago, and he followed us back 8 minutes ago. We're still in the realm of normalcy.”

“What’s with all this ‘we’ and ‘us’ talk? I’m just here to drink.” Jaebum muttered as he reached out for the last can on the table.

“You’re here for gossip, shut up” Jackson countered. Though he still stood up to go get more drinks from the fridge.

“I swear! I’m here to hang, you guys reactions are funny” Jaebum murmured, sounding more defensive than angry.

“Jae…” Jackson began as he put down the cold six-pack, “If he sent a dick pic you’d be the first one to grab the phone.” Bambam literally fell to the floor in a fit of laughter, Mark lost it when Jaebum started stuttering “wh-wha- no I- I. Wait a sec. Yah! Wai-wait a minute”

While Jackson and Jaebum pretended not to be flirting, Bambam showed Mark the message he’d typed out and Mark gave a nod of approval. Bambam sent it and yelled “Project JYP has officially begun!” Jackson, Bambam and Mark all took a can each and cheers’d to the start of what would be an evening for the books.

 

They sat quietly, all taking a sip, until Jaebum said “What’ll you save him as, in your contacts?”

“Just Jinyoung, I guess” Mark said, fiddling with the tab on his can.

“Too late” Bambam said with a sly grin, showing Mark Jinyoung’s contact page.

 **< 3 Soon to be boyfriend JYP <3 . ** 

“No! What if he sees it?” the whiny sound of Mark voice took him by surprise. There was no way Jinyoung would ever see it unless he was calling Mark while he was in front of him. Or unless he asked to. Nonetheless, Mark didn’t want that to be his contact name. “Just change it to his name” Mark said as he reached out for his phone. “Okay, okay.” Bam typed out something quickly and showed it to the other three again.

**Park Nyeongie.**

Jackson and Jaebum laughed, and Jaebum –despite himself – muttered ‘ah, cute’ in Korean.

“Yah! Bambam, just make it Jinyoung!” Mark complained as he lurched forwards for his phone.

“Ah, Hyung,” Bam whined back, imitating Mark’s tone, “it’s his Instagram ID and his fans call him Nyeongie and Jireongie and all that sort of stuff in his comments”

“When did you have time to check his comm—” Mark began before he was cut off by Bambam.

“A reply! He replied.” Bam shouted before running around the coffee table to sit between Mark and Jackson. The quartet had found themselves, once again, pressed tightly together, shoulder to shoulder, staring at Mark’s phone.

 **Me:** Ehh but didn’t you follow me first? haha

 **Park Nyeongie:** Ehh but weren’t you stalking my page?

 

“Gimme!” Mark said, as he snatched his phone from Bambam. “I’ll type, and you guys tell me if it’s weird.”

“This whole situation is weird, but okay” Jackson said as he dragged Bam into his lap so he could get a better view of the phone screen.

 **Me:** 9/10 would creep through again though

This got a laugh from the trio, so Mark sent it. Almost straight away three little dots popped up and they all began screamed, Im ‘I’m just here for the beer’ Jaebum included.

 **Park Nyeongie:** only a 9?! What do I have to do to get a 10?

“He’s good!” Bambam said, and they all hummed in agreement.

“What should I say?”

“Say ‘more pictures of cute things, like cats” Jaebum proposed. “No say ‘like me’” Bam countered earning a low hum of approval and two high-fives from Jackson and Jaebum.

“Ah Jaebum-ah, that’s kind of greasy” Mark muttered, staring at his phone envisioning typing something that forward.

“Mark, you’re not drunk enough yet for this… just say it!” Jaebum said, lifting the hand that held Mark’s drink towards his mouth.

‘Jaebum was right’ Mark thought, alcohol’s disinhibiting affects wouldn’t be so terrible right about now. “Okay but I won’t say the ‘like me’ part, I can’t handle that level of forwardness”

“Just say what you think is best” Jackson said encouragingly from the side-lines.

“Should I say idk, or I don’t know?” Mark asked as he typed out his reply

Jaebum sighed and whined, “Ah seriously hyung… just say what’d you say normally!”

 

 **Me:** I don’t know, pictures of cute things I guess

They waited and watched as the dots appeared.

 **Park Nyeongie:** I don’t really take pictures like that

The trio let out a collective wince as Mark squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Well, he hates me now. Great.” Mark said, throwing his head back and letting out a long sigh, before opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling.

Suddenly, the selfie Mark had saved as his contact picture on Jinyoung’s phone popped up in the message thread.

 **Park Nyeongie:** This is the cutest picture on my phone though…

“He’s a genius” Bambam whispered, before erupting into a scream “the boy is a fucking genius!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'I admit it' joke Jackson made would be something like "인정합니당! 저는 스토커입니당" so it's mixing a type of aegyo (adding -ng to the ends of words) with really formal speech. It's not really that funny, well maybe it is idk - i thought it was funny- but only if the person your sending it to appreciates that kind of cringey humour. 
> 
> Lemme know what you think of the Chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a while to write. I've written about 10-13k words of scenes for the fic but I can't start bridging the gap between what's been published and what I've written until I publish this chapter. I'm not suuuuper happy with this chapter but at least I can move on towards the juicy (aka angsty and fluffy and smutty hehe) parts
> 
> Anyways, thank you guys for waiting for a whole week without an update even though I promised super frequent updates. Please let me know if they are any issues in the chapter i.e spelling, grammar etc

CHAPTER 6

Jinyoung

I had to wonder if you were getting coached. I bet you had Jackson beside you, screening your messages before you sent them.  That seems like the kind of friendship you two have; giving each other honest relationship advice, after undoubtedly retiring the thought of ever being together years ago.  I'm sure Jackson's helping you. Jackson didn't seem like the jealous type, he seemed worse. He seemed like the genuine type. The kind of friend that I couldn't convince to leave you alone, because they're not acting out of self-interest. Even if I made things hard for him, he'd stick around for you.

 

I'd be lying if I said a part of me wasn't happy you had him. I'm grateful, he took care of you before I could.

 

My phone buzzes and your reply makes me laugh out loud.

 **Mark Tuan (coffee shop guy):** meh he’s kinda cute…

 

You know you’re adorable.

 

 **Me:** kinda?  He’s so hot what are you talking about

 **Mark Tuan (coffee shop guy):** I guess, is he single?

 

Are you single? You have to be.

I know what you’re asking, you want to know if _I’m_ single.

 

 **Me:** Well if he is… he won’t be for long hopefully

 **Me:** Are you busy this week?

 

I wonder if you'll wait to reply, so you don’t seem too eager. Even if you do wait, I won't. I want you to know how much I like you; you have doubts, I can tell. You saved your full name as well as ‘coffee shop guy’ as if I’d forget who you are. How could I forget you? I haven’t slept properly in a week. I’ve spent every night lying awake going over every interaction I’ve had with you. 

 

This is fate. There’s a reason for this. If I’d bought the book sooner, if I’d had it the day you’d been there you’d probably be my boyfriend by now. I can't even say it without smiling. You’d be my boyfriend. You’d be mine. Even though I’d waited to buy that book, wasted time, you’d been there with it already. You’d been a reminder to stop denying myself the things I want. The book was a kind of cosmic peace offering. A chance at a clean slate. It was written for us to meet. Everything about it was for us. The fact you’d liked the book, meant you’d sympathised with the protagonist.

All of it, it was all a reminder that I can be the kind of person that takes what they want. I don't have to be passive, polite, well-mannered Park Jinyoung. I can be better. I could be yours.

 

You’d replied.

 

I should change your contact name. Mine’s probably something cute, isn’t it? It’s not fair that you have to second guess yourself like this. We’re supposed to be better together, Mark.

 

 **My Mark:** Mondays are kind of busy but other than that I’m usually pretty free. We should hang out, that is if things don’t work out with selfie guy

Things were going to work out, but I needed an excuse to go to Briar. It wasn’t far enough to be inconvenient, but why else would I be there if not to see you? It had to be organic. It had to seem like it wasn’t for you. It had to seem like fate.

 

I’d stayed up most of the night. I’d downloaded the general reference timetable and the class credit allocation policy from the Briar University school website and tried to think of how to make turning up at Briar today seem much less stalker-y than it was. I wanted to text you so bad Mark. I wanted to ask what time you’d be out of class on Monday, but I didn’t want to freak you out. I gathered from the credit policy of the English department that you’d be taking an extra English class this semester, and probably a class in something with one of your friends. Probably Jackson. Jackson was most likely a Psychology major, or maybe biology or Physical education.

 

The last Senior English class ended at 5pm, the last general English class ended at 6pm. I texted the only other person aside from you, my sister and my mom who has a real contact name in my phone, instead of some snarky remark about their character.  Kim Wonpil, pretty much my only friend.  You’d like him, you like everyone, but you’d really like him. He’s like my Jackson, only less Jackson and more quietly judgmental.

 

I still remember the first words he said to me:

‘Can you speak Korean?’

 I’d answered honestly, ‘yeah I’m Korean, so obviously.’ He took this as a green light and sat down at my table saying ‘good’ and began what can only be described as verbal homicide. He began with the ‘fucking useless teachers’ and then started picking off the ‘fake as fuck’ students one by one. Once he’d finished venting about nearly everyone in our sophomore high school class he sheepishly stretched out his hand and said, ‘Sorry about all that. By the way, I’m Kim Wonpil.’ When I’d asked if he had anything to say about me he simply replied, ‘I would have if you’d lied and said you don’t speak Korean.’  By the end of sophomore year, we’d begun hanging out after school every day. I would do my homework in Wonpil’s house, sitting at the big dining table in his kitchen.  I’d work on calculus or chemistry or whatever other subject I’ve never used since getting accept to Everett, while he practiced piano in the other room. When I was done I’d just leave. If he’d finish his practicing before I’d finished my homework he’d sit down beside me and watch me work until I was done. He’d say see you tomorrow and allow me to see myself out. That's how our friendship was. That’s how it still is. If I’m not causing trouble he’s happy to leave me be.

 

We aren't like you and Jackson. You and Jackson, it would seem, go around collecting friends like they’re Pokémon. Wonpil has never forced me to be anything other than myself. He’s never introduced me to people I didn’t seem curious about. He never took offence when I declined to hangout. He’s happy with me as I am, even if that meant I couldn't – or wouldn’t – be as open and forthcoming as he might like. He was satisfied to just let me read in his house, or to show me a movie he liked or vent to me about his other more talkative friends. He didn’t want me to change, he doesn’t want me to change, because we were both unsure of what I could become if I did. The cracks could either shatter or fuse back together and mend themselves.

 

 **Me:** Your friend Brian goes to Briar university, right?

He replied quickly even though it was 8 am. He probably had a class soon.

 

 **Kim Wonpil:** He’s your friend too Jinyoung… Yes, why?

 **Me:** let’s visit him today!

Wonpil knew me better than anyone. His years of quite observation had assured that.

 **Kim Wonpil:** is this going to get him in trouble? He’s graduating this year… Jinyoung don’t get him in trouble

 **Me:** Does he have class today? Even if he doesn’t, let’s just hang out.

 **Kim Wonpil:** is Brian some kind of bait? People aren’t worms Jinyoung

 

Yes, they are.

 

 **Me:**  Shut up, I know that! I just want to be at Briar today. So, we’re going to be at Briar today.

 **Kim Wonpil:** he’s really busy. We have a show soon…

 **Me:** you guys are too busy… even for me? You tell me to hang out more, to be alone less and when I want to hang out you dodge me?

 **Me:** I’ve been trying to make a new friend that goes to Briar and I didn’t want to do it alone, I thought we could invite him to see you guys preform. But it’s fine.

 **Kim Wonpil:** Ah Jinyoungie…

 **Me:** It’s fine. He probably thinks I’m weird too. Good luck at the gig

 **Kim Wonpil:** You’re a bit of a prick… you know that, right Jinyoungie?

 **Me:**  I love you too <3

 

He took his time to reply, probably convincing Brian that I wasn’t going to get him expelled.

 

 **Kim Wonpil:** Bri’s last class ends at 4.50…

 **Me:** tell him to leave his car today. I’ll buy you guys coffee and drive you home

 **Kim Wonpil:** Why don’t you just text him yourself

 **Me:** He blocked me…

 **Kim Wonpil:** damn, he’s smart. -__-‘

 

4.50pm. That’s perfect.  That’ll give me almost two hours to get home, get changed, and get to you.

 

 

My last class finished at 3pm, I was out of the building and walking across the parking lot to my car before ten past three.

“Jinyoung!” Some girl called out from behind me.

I’d seen her as I was walking out. She’d wanted to talk to me. She wasn’t an English major but she’d signed up to this elective with her friend who had been trying to get my attention since freshman year. The friend was called Eunmi, Minji, something like that. They were both never further than 2 rows away from me. I doubt either of them new what the class was about, they just turned up and took it in turns to watch me while the other took notes.

 

Honestly if Wonpil would do that for me while I flirted with you, he really would be my best friend.

 

My first mistake was pausing, the second was turning around and misguidedly making eye contact with her instead of getting in my car as soon as I’d heard my name being called.

She came up to me faster than I thought a girl that short could move. What’s that little half-run half-dance thing little kids do? Skipping? Did she skip across the parking lot to get to me? I held back a laugh as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Was acting like a six-year supposed to be sexy?

“Jinyoung, you left so quickly” The top three buttons of her blouse hadn’t been undone in class, I know that much for sure.

“I’m busy so…” I made a move for the car keys in my pocket.

“Oh! I just wanted to ask you something, can I ask you a question?”

I pulled out my keys and pressed the unlock button. “You just did, so I’ll be going now.”

Third mistake. She hit my shoulder and started laughing “Jinyoung, I didn't know you were so funny!” her hand lingered, and then slid down to my forearm. “Jinyoung we’re setting up a study group, if you want to join.”

 

Why did she keep saying my name? Did she think I’d forget who I was?

 

“You’re an English major?” I knew she wasn’t. She I didn’t recognise her from any of my core classes from last year or this semester.

She tucked the same piece of hair behind her ear, it hadn’t even moved. It wasn’t even windy today.

“No, I’m in global finance, but I’m taking this as a free credit class with my friend.”

She was still holding onto my arm. I tugged it away lightly and did my best to smile.

“So then make a global finance study group.”

 

The smile fell off her face. That dumb piece of hair unpinned itself from behind her ear and she made no move to fix it.

“I just thought… Eunji said you got really good grades so I just thought…” Ah, Eunji. That was her name.

“If I got good grades alone why would I need to be in a study group? So, you just want my notes, then what? You’ll all sit around and pretend you got smarter by working together, even though you’d be getting grades none of you had worked for?”

She shook her head quickly and put her hands up between us. This isn’t how she thought this would go.

“No! God no, it's just…”

“Just?”

“Just you’re always alone, I thought…”

“You thought I needed a girlfriend, so you volunteered yourself? You came up to me, using this fake study group as an excuse.”

“No!” she moved closer and put her hands down. She got a look in her eyes I’d seen a few times before. A look I’d gotten lot more since I’d left high school. She looked at me like she was looking for the thorn in my paw, like I was some dumb animal that couldn’t help itself. She looked at me like she wanted to fix me, to make me stop ‘hurting’. You look at me as though you like me as I am. I don’t need fixing to you. I’m not hurt in your eyes. You fit perfectly into all my jagged edges, I can already tell.

 

“No, Jinyoung I didn’t think that, I just thought you’d want some friends.” I didn’t have time for this. It was already 3.16pm. “Listen, sorry. I’m sorry about... earlier. I have to go. I—” I’m done with this conversation. “I’m meeting someone, none of my friends go here. Don’t worry about me. Really.” Don't think about me. Don't talk to me. Drop out of that English class. Focus on finance. Fuck. Off.

“Oh, well if you ever need someone to eat lunch with or something…” she smiled.

“I don’t eat the food on campus.” I smiled.

I pulled the driver side door open and waved goodbye. She waved too, but looked dazed.

 

By the time I got home it was almost twenty-five to 4. Of course, the drive took longer than normal. Of course, I hit every red light. Of fucking course. I ran to my bathroom and threw my clothes in the hamper. I had less than two hours before you finished class but between the drive to Briar, showering, getting redressed, making sure what I decided to wear looked like I hadn't _decided_ to wear it, but also making sure I didn’t look like a slob… I was panicking.

 

Even if I did manage to do all that then my contingency plan would be thrown out the window. As well as getting dressed I had to pick up some coffee so it looked like I’d had all the time in the world before picking up my friends. I’d have coffees for them too, because I’m a good friend. Your friends’ll love me, while they’re around at least. I don’t care if they hate me when I’m not around, as long as you don’t. I’d have to change my lock screen picture to one of my sister’s dog, because I’m just _that_ sweet. I’d have to jerk off in the shower, so I didn't say something stupid like ‘I love you’ or ‘if you want kids, I do too’ when I saw you. I had to be cool, I am cool. Normally I am cool, too cool even. I swear, it’s you, you’ve made me crazy. But that’s love, right?

\---

I held my head upside down and raked my hands through my hair with the blow drier on high until my hair was mostly dry. It’d finish drying in the car. I still hadn't decided whether to wear my glasses or put fresh contacts in. Studious boyfriend look, or ‘wow even his eyesight is perfect’ boyfriend look? I went for glasses, I didn’t have the time to wash my hands again after running product through my hair. I pulled on the navy sweater I’d picked out, and light blue jeans with rips at both knees. I pulled a beanie on and grabbed my backpack. I looked in the mirror and laughed a bit. I looked like the kind of kid that says things like ‘their first album was really good, back before they got signed’ – but in a hot way.

\---

 

4.42pm. Jinyoung. Relax. I could get coffee on the campus, that way it’s not weird for me to be walking around with coffees from outside, when I could have just bought some on campus. Would you find that weird? Do you think that deeply about things? Should I be thinking this deeply about this?  There’s no way you’d see me with coffee, bought from inside your college and think ‘he didn’t have time to buy coffee before he got here because he came twice in the shower while thinking about me.

\---

 I looked at myself – one last time before I left – in my hallway mirror and tried to calm down. It’ll be fine. Park Jinyoung, it’ll be fine. I spent the eleven-minute drive from my front door to the main entrance of Briar University repeating what I’d said in the mirror. It’ll be fine. I called Wonpil and as he answered I heard Brian Kang say, ‘speak of the devil’ loud enough for it to be picked up by the microphone.

“Hi Brian.” I yelled back.

“Jinyoungie, we’re at the business building. It’s square, almost entirely glass. You can’t miss it.” Wonpil said into the phone.

“We _might_ have to hang around until 6. First, we have to go to the where LA 229 is. Ask Brian where that is.”

I heard Wonpil pass the phone over to Brian, who muttered ‘no way’ and probably handed it back.

“Just a sec Jinyoungie” Wonpil said. I pulled into a space and shut the engine off. I sat in the car and waited until Wonpil finished begging Brian to talk to me. Brian let out a long sigh and finally took the phone as I stepped out of my car and stood near the ivy covered main arches of the university.

At this time of year, Briar looked like a something out of a movie. Students were sitting on the main quad through the arches, others were walking to their cars in groups laughing. I imagined you walking to your friend’s ridiculously new car, laughing happily too.

“Aye, Jinyoung. What’s up, asshole?”

 

It may not seem like it, but Brian and I are close. I really do like Brian.

 

“How far is the Liberal Arts block from business?”

“Like a three-minute walk, yeah like three-ish minutes.”

“Well then make it a 30-second sprint. Is there any where to get coffee around there?” I asked as I hit the alarm button on my keys. Brian must have heard the click of the central locking system and said

“If you’re parked near the Arch get back in your car. Drive up the hill and to the right, there’s a parking lot way closer to the Lib Arts block. There’s a coffee shop in the Arts block too. We’ll meet you there.”

 

Brian Kang. I love you.

 

I got back in my car and drove where he told me to go. You had about 45 more seconds left of class, if your professor finished _right_ on time. If they’d finished early you’d have left the building by now. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I pulled into a space and saw Brian and Wonpil slowing from a run to a walk outside a limestone building. Its wide archway already had students spilling out in small groups.

 

“Inside. Now.”

Brian, though he was panting, gave me a mock salute, but still walked into the building. I glanced around for you. You still weren’t out yet.

“Whoever you’re about to abduct or murder, if he’s coming from LA 229”, Brian said as he led me by my arm in the direction he was walking, “then he’d probably walk down from the south stairwell. Then leave through this exit. Those stairs are closer to the coffee bar too.”

 

Again. I love Brian Kang with all my soul. Even though he’s a dick to me.

 

Wonpil, Brian and I walked over to the south staircase and by some miracle there was only one person at the coffee bar. I pushed Brian to stand behind them and I kept my eyes on the stairs.

“You guys order anything, I owe you. Just order me whatever” I said to Brian.

I leant against the wooden panel of the coffee bar as Brian talked to the barista. I had my phone out, just in case you saw me first. I didn’t want to be staring at you. I mean I did, more than anything. I just didn’t want to be caught. You can do whatever you want as long as you don’t get caught. Right?

 

I looked up from my phone, I was playing around with an already edited a picture for Instagram, and saw you walking down the stairs. Looking at your phone.

“Guys go sit down. I’ll bring the coffees.” I said, catching Wonpil rolling his eyes.

They walked over to one of the few tables and chairs in front of the pseudo-coffee shop.

 

I swear there’s a god because as I bring my wallet out and hand over a twenty I hear you say

“Hey!”

I’m pretending I didn’t hear you. I haven’t replied to your message since last night. I wanted, more than anything. But I would have ended up asking you out. I which of course I want to do, but in person. I pick up the cardboard cup holder and turn to Wonpil and Brian. They’re both rolling their eyes at me, and I can't help but genuinely smile. They heard you too.

Wonpil, knowing when and how to be extremely useful stood slightly from his seat and looking at you, pointing your way. I feigned ignorance and followed his hand.

 

Wow! Funny seeing you here! OMG at the very college you happen to go to; in the very building your classes are in; at the exact time your last class ends. Wow! Serendipity.

 

I raise my eyebrows and smile. You smile at me and start to walk over. You look so good. You’re wearing an oversized denim jacket with a grey hoodie underneath, your black jeans are ripped at the knees and you’ve got a baseball hate pulled down low. Again, you look so, so good. I can't wait to start stealing your hoodies, I don’t really own any for you to take; I’ll buy some though, just for you.

I set the coffees down and you walk over to us.

“Jinyoung, hey!” say to me before turning to my friends. “Hi, I’m Mark.” I introduce them to you before they have a chance to say something stupid. “This is my friend from high school, Wonpil.” Wonpil extends his hand and you put your phone in your pocket and grasp it. “This is Brian Kang, he went to a different high school but I’ve known him since those days too.” Brian lifts a hand and does a kind of bored half-wave that you re-enact almost exactly. Is this some kind of Briar secret handshake I don’t know about?

 

“Jinyoung, you go to Everett, don't you?” You asked me shyly, pulling at the straps of your backpack.

“Ahh, yeah I wanted to hang out with my friend Brian, so…”

“So… _he’s_ why you wanted to hang out today, well congrats” Brian whispered in Korean. He thought you wouldn’t understand so he made no effort at stealth at all. He practically said it right to you. You suppressed a laughed and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

 

Mark Tuan, are you flirting with me in front of my friends?

 

“Don’t be bitter Younghyun hyung, he’s cute.” Wonpil added, in Korean too.

 

“I actually go here, and our dear Jinyoungie said he’d treat us to some coffee before giving us a ride so… here we all are!” Brian said excitedly, as though he hadn’t just blown my fucking cover. He stood up and reached for a coffee, as did Wonpil. We all stood around the table, cloaked in a weird silence for about 5 seconds before I thought to ask you a question. This really, _really_ isn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Do you want something?” I asked as casually as I could. You shook your head and kept smiling.  “I’m good. I was actually going to go to Birch on the way home.”

“Birch?” What’s Birch, am I supposed to know what that is?

“Birch… the coffee shop…where you met me…”

“That place has a name?!” I said, genuinely shocked and you tossed your head back in laughter. God, I love that sound so much.

“The ivy and the hanging baskets block out the name, but yeah… it’s called birch. That’s why there’s so many plants inside, and it’s all, you know, green and nature-ish looking.” You said as your laughter subsided.

“Yah, ‘nature-ish looking’? Are you sure you're an English major?” you laughed even harder this time, and Brian muttered to himself in Korean again ‘you have no game oh my god, just kiss and let’s leave.’

 

You were looking at me, trying and failing to hide your grin. Meanwhile Dumb and Dumber were cracking jokes about us in a language they didn't know you understood. Saying things like ‘heart attack!’ and ‘Prince Jinyoung strikes again’ I couldn’t shout at them now, I couldn’t even glare. I couldn’t stop looking at you. Not when you seemed to be having so much having, even at my expense.

 

I was supposed to be cool today, but I don’t even care. You’re smiling, so I’m smiling too. You adjusted your backpack again and pulled your phone out. I swung back on my heels, hands in my pockets and Brian stared at me, then grinned. He mouthed ‘you’re a prick’ at me and I lunged forward, but stopped short. I told myself to remember fifteen minutes ago when I could have hugged him, to remember when he was useful. I clung to that memory. I couldn’t drop kick the annoying bastard… not in front of you.  You looked up from your phone and put it back in your pocket.

“Nyeongie we’ll wait in the car.” Brian said holding out his hand for my keys. A small part of me thought he might drive away, but I handed them to him anyways.

As they walked away you smiled and said “Nyeongie?”

“Ah… a childhood nickname. They picked it up from my mom and sister so now they think they can call me that whenever.”

You smiled, showing those cute little perfect vampire teeth of yours, and you said “It’s cute.”

This was my chance. I had to act now.

 

“Speaking of cute, I don’t think it’ll work out with selfie boy, as hot as he is.” I saw the brief panic in your eyes, don’t worry I didn’t come all the way here to break up with you. “I think I need a shoulder to cry on, are you free tomorrow?”

 

You smile and my heart melts.

 

“I have class until 1pm tomorrow.”

“I’m done at two” I say, putting my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I look towards the exit and you nod and follow me as I walk. This is nice. We’re good together.

 

“Mark, I didn’t reply last night—” I say and you cut me off

“No worries, it’s cool.” You’re nervous and it’s so sweet.  “No, I didn’t reply because I wanted to ask you to hang out, in person.” I say and turn to look at you. I notice for the first time how much taller than you I am. Your eyes are cast up to look at me. You look like an angel. Even though I’m older this need to protect you rushes through me. I can’t help but smile and I’m reaching out and touching your wrist before I have time to stop myself. “You’re so cute.”

 

I want to slip my fingers in between yours and hold your hand, but I shouldn’t. Jinyoung. Reel it in a little. But I can’t. I’m smiling and so are you, I feel like I should kiss you right now but the beep of my car’s horn pulls my attention away from you.

I turn and look at Brian, who’s got his head out of the passenger side window like an overgrown puppy. “Jinyoung-ah! Drive me home you little toad.” You burst out laughing and ask, “he’s your hyung?”

I can’t stifle my groan and I nod. “He was born in 1993, he’s almost exactly nine months older so I can’t even complain. He could feasibly be my older brother.”

I couldn’t count the amount of times I’d heard ‘but it takes 9 months to make a baby so I win.’ from Brian 

“I was born in ’93 as well, September.”

“Me too”, I say and I step closer to you, your less than an arm’s length away. “Should I call you hyung then?” You grin at me, but the sound of my car’s engine humming to life gets me to turn around again and I roll my eyes.

 

“I should let you go, but I’ll text you?” you sound so unsure. It’s too cruel to leave you on the line like this.  “Do! I can drop you off in town if you’d like…” you shake your head and tell me you rode your bike to college this morning.

“Well, I’ll talk to you later hyung.” I say stepping back.

“See you later Jinyoung-ah” you say quietly to me before you yell “It was nice to meet you guys, see you around campus Younghyun-ah” to Brian and Wonpil. The looks of immaculately, unadulterated shame on their faces when they hear you speak to them in Korean is enough of a punishment. Brian meekly calls out ‘annyeong’ and I almost die of laughter on the way to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was 5k words of idk what -__-' lol Also there's a little easter egg in this chapter, tell me if you find it >u<


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! How's everyone's Got7 day going/how did it go? I feel like it's been two days for me, because of the time difference between here and Korea. (As I'm uploading this it's actually 1am on the 17th in Korea, so Got7 day is technically over for our boys now) 
> 
> Also, thank you guys so so so much for over 1k hits! I honestly thought my weird little idea wouldn't attract that many people, but I'm so grateful for all the support. You guys are awesome! All your comments mean the world, and I try to reply to every one to show how much each one matters. All your support and critiques really help me *try* to write better. 
> 
> I tried to make this Chapter a little funny, I hope you guys enjoy this one :)

CHAPTER 7

Mark

Mark skipped getting coffee and cycled through the park in record time. By the time he got home to find Jackson on the couch, flicking through channels, he was panting. Half due to the quick workout, the other half out of eagerness to tell Jackson what had happened today. Jackson, meanwhile, looked half dead from a day of fencing practise and classes.

“Hey!” he said, taking his feet of the couch, going from looking fully melted back to semi-solid.  Mark sat down beside him, unable to hide his grin. “Your car was out front” Jackson said, pausing his _arduous_ task of looking for something to watch, “did you get a ride with JB in the morning?” Jackson was gone before Mark, Bambam and Jaebum were even up. They hadn’t seen each other since they’d all gone to bed last night. Mark shook his head ‘no’ and replied, “I rode my bike. I’ll probably just keep riding it until it gets too dark to.” Jackson’s eyebrows rose upon hearing ‘riding it’ – earning a light smack on the thigh from Mark – but other than that he remained almost motionless as he flicked through channels. “Guess what happened today” Mark said in a sing-song voice. Nothing. Mark poked Jackson’s side and waited for a reaction. Again, nothing.

 

“Okay well I guess I’ll just keep this information to myself.” Mark said jokingly as he poked Jackson’s side with every syllable of ‘information’ and ‘myself’

“Yeah, you do that.”

“What’s with the attitude, dude?”

In-lieu of a reply Jackson rolled off the couch and walked towards the kitchen. “There’s no attitude, if you wanna talk, then let’s talk. Can we not play games, please.” He called out from behind the door of the fridge. Mark was almost a hundred percent sure what this mood was about. If Mark brought it up he’d be hit with ‘dude no way, those are just jokes.’ Every time Jackson has hinted at something having happened, and even currently happening, between him and Jaebum once Mark’s interest was piqued Jackson would always try to negate his comments by saying it was a joke. That he just liked making JB uncomfortable, that they’d never do something like that. Actually, that _Jaebum_ would never. All of the times he’d tried to justify his jokes he’d never once said ‘I’; it was always ‘Jaebum’ or ‘we’.  Maybe the psychology class Jackson had convinced Mark to take with him was making him overanalyse the situation, but still, there was a weird tension there and all four of them knew it. Jaebum loved to flirt and occasionally sleep around but flew into a mood when Jackson so much as mentioned any girl or guy. It was always, ‘we don't need the details’ when Jackson so much as mentioned knowing people outside of the group. Whereas Jaebum was happy to give a minute by minute analysis of what he’d done with a part-timer at one of his parents restaurants; or with someone from one of the Film department’s many nights outs and screenings.

 

In an effort to pull Jackson out of whatever mood Jaebum had put him in Mark came out with his news, putting aside all hopes of any kind of fanfare. “I saw Jinyoung today” Mark said as Jackson walked back to the couch, tossing a little bottle of the yoghurt drink he’d become obsessed with recently. ‘Mark they’re so good for you, it’s like a booster shot for your tummy’ Mark was sure the fact they also came in strawberry flavour had nothing to do with why their fridge was full of them. Between the expensive strawberry milk, that only one person seemed to ever drink – someone who didn’t even pay rent here –  and the flavours of ramen Mark was banned from eating, but that seemed to be magically disappearing whenever Mark wasn’t around; Mark knew that Jackson’s subconscious plan to lure JB to their place with food was working.  Mark shook the strawberry bottle at Jackson and said, “thanks dude, these are the best ones.”

“That’s not for you” Jackson said as he snatched it back and gave Mark the plain one he’d been holding. Jackson took the good one back to the fridge and took out a matcha flavoured one for himself. Jackson had been caught, he was clearly thinking about Jaebum while he was at the fridge… but that’s none of Mark’s business.

 

“Wow, love you too, dude. Anyway, I said I saw Jinyoung today. He was at Briar”, Mark said as he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. He looked like a lovesick, giddy teenager, but that’s how he felt. Jackson came to sit beside him and put the straw in Mark’s drink for him. He was back in best friend mode, so Mark continued. “He was there with some of his friends, they were so funny, like wow, Jackson his friends are so funny!”

“Congrats, you’ll have some good options for best man then.” He chided, and Mark stretched out his leg to kick him in response.

“He bought them coffee, even though he’s the youngest. Imagine if Bambam did things like that for us.”

Jackson laughed, “Bambam, you mean the kid that rats JB out to his mom when he doesn’t give him free food at the restaurant, that Bambam?” Mark laughed too. Bambam would do anything for his friends if he had the money too, getting them on the guest lists for clubs and letting them steal his fries was about all he could do right now. While he hated anything that seemed remotely like charity, he was happy to get a free meal – or ten – from any restaurant branch that Jaebum happened to be checking in on.

“What was he doing at Briar?” Jackson asked as he shook his drink, drove the straw through the top and took a sip. The pair looked like pre-schoolers, sitting there, hugging our knees, sipping what was marked as liquid ‘good bacteria’ but was essentially flavoured milk out of little plastic cartons. Mark took a sip of the drink, he’d come to like the tangy sweetness of the plain flavour, but damn, the strawberry one was like the holy grail. He’d stolen the last one once, in a fit of desperation, and spent a solid hour swearing to Jackson that he’d replace it before Bambam and Jaebum next came over.

“He was picking up his friends, and we talked! He must have talked to them about me because they were making all these jokes like ‘kiss already’ and ‘I’m having a heart attack.’ That kind of stuff.” Mark could tell by Jackson’s face that he probably looked like a little kid on Christmas morning. Mark had spent last night casually refreshing Instagram to see if Jinyoung posted anything new, and _accidentally_ tapping his and Jinyoung’s chat to see if he’d replied to Mark’s last message. At one-point Jackson and Bambam had to confiscate his phone and tell him to stop being so needy.

“Did you bring up the fact he ignored your message?” Jackson asked me. Mark looked away slyly, technically _he_ hadn't brought it up first, but yes… they had talked about it. “Mark!” Jackson said, adding about ten extra A’s to his name. “Oh god, what did he say? Was he like, ‘ew, what the fuck, why are you so needy??’ or was he like ‘gross, why the fuck are you so needy?’”

“Those are the same option! He actually brought it up first.” Mark neglected to mention that Jinyoung had almost held his while apologising for leaving Mark on ‘read’.

“Okay, okay. Tell me everything”, Jackson said, “I’ll only interrupt for important questions.” Mark gave him their designated ‘don't lie to me’ look and Jackson put both his hands up, “I swear on my favourite sabre!” That wasn’t much, but Mark didn’t expect him to swear on his parents and swearing on Jaebum’s life – in the mood Jackson had just been in – was almost a promise he _would_ interrupt. So, Mark took the flaky guarantee and moved on.

“Don’t interrupt too much, this is important, okay?”

“Okay, now go!”

Mark told him about his boring English class, and then started telling Jackson about the moment he’d seen Jinyoung.

“So, I walked down the south stairs. I looked over at the coffee dock place and I started thinking about buying a bag of coffee from Birch—”

“Question! Why didn’t you? We’re out of coffee.”

Mark glared at him and Jackson waved for him to continue. ‘I should have gotten him to swear on organic green tea instead, he loves that shit’ Mark thought before continuing his story.

“So, I was thinking about coffee and then I thought I’d seen Jinyoung. At first, I thought I was going crazy. He was paying for some coffee for his friends – how fucking cute is he? – and I thought ‘oh my god, I’m hallucinating about him now, it’s been a freaking week since you met him, Mark!’” this earned an acquiescent hum from Jackson and it took everything in Mark to resisted the urge to kick him.

“But then I just took a chance and said ‘hey!’ and he didn’t turn around. You know when you suddenly start praying for the ground to swallow you up? Yeah, well that was me. Ugh, Jackson I felt like such an idiot, I just stood there thinking ‘what did I do, he’s already ignoring me. What did I say last night to make him give up already?’ So there I was, hating life, while he was walking towards his friends and I guess one of them took pity on me and pointed at me. But Jacks, he just hadn’t heard. He looked so cute when his friend pointed to me. His little face was like ‘huh?’ and he turned to look at me and I swear, I could have cried.”

“Question!”

“Jackson!”

“No, no this is a real question this time. What was he wearing?”

Mark pretended to swoon, and Jackson burst out laughing throwing his empty carton at Mark. “That good, huh?” he asked, and Mark nodded.

“Jackson when I say hot, oh fuck” Mark didn’t bother trying to hide the lust in his voice. He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip, half in jest and half in an actual manifestation of his sexual frustration. Jackson jumped on Mark, straddling his sides, and shook him by the shoulders and yelled “oh my god, Mark, when did you start living like this? When did you become such a… teenager?”

 “I don’t even know. It’s like he makes me a teenager. Like, when I see him I just smile like an idiot. I feel so childish, but it’s nice, you know? I’ve _never_ liked anyone like this before.” Mark sighed, and Jackson flicked him on the forehead, “you’re so damn dramatic.”

Mark pushed him to the side and hit him on the chest a few times, “Jackson, Jackson Wang, listen to me. He looked so good, I swear to god. He had this navy beanie on, but the front was pushed back slightly so his hair was falling in front of his eyes a little bit, it was kinda wavy and he had glasses on. Glasses! He looked like the sexiest little nerd ever, I’ve never seen him wear glasses before.”

“You’ve seen him three times other than today, calm down” Mark gave Jackson the finger and carried on. “He had a navy sweater on, with the sleeves pushed up a little so you could see his forearms, and he was wearing these ripped blue jeans. He was like a Tumblr boy on crack. Jackson he looked so good! He has perfect skin, perfect style, perfect—”

“Well his eyesight’s not perfect if he needs glasses” Jackson said, barely dodging the pillow Mark launched at him in response.

“Shut up, even his imperfections are perfect. He’s literally the perfect guy.”

“He’s probably a psycho. Hot, tall, smart… he’s probably got a shovel in the trunk of his car. I bet you _anything_ there’s a shovel there, or like a baseball bat.”

“Shut the fuck up! He’s not a psycho.”

“Yeah, said everyone who’s ever dated a serial killer, but okeydokey. He can’t be that great and still be single, there’s something wrong.” Jackson grabbed the pillow Mark was about to throw out of his hands before it could even make its way through the short space between them. He tucked it behind him and lay back on the couch. “Well, keep going ‘he’s so hot I wanna die’ I think you left off there.”

“Anyways, he came to pick up his friends and we just talked a bit. Just about college and stuff. While we were talking his friends were talking, but in Korean, about us. Apparently, he offered to pick them up in the hopes of seeing yours truly.”

“Seriously? What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything, I just smiled, and he gave me this look like… I can’t even describe it. It was so Jinyoung.”

“What does ‘so Jinyoung’ even mean? I don’t know him. _You_ don’t know him!”

A pang of irritation coursed through Mark for a second, he was about to say ‘of course I know him’ but Jackson wasn’t wrong. Mark didn’t _really_ know him. But it felt like he did. Like they’ve always known each other.

“Whatever, it was just this kind of insolent, like ‘yeah maybe I did’ expression, but it was sweet and vulnerable too, you know?” Jackson nodded – not knowing –he just wanted the story to keep going. “So, we all just kind of stood there for a bit and one of his friends, Brian I think he was called, was like ‘well we’ll go wait in the car.’ And he called him Nyeongie! So, Bam was right, people in his life must actually call him that. He said his mom calls him that, which is so freakin’ cute. I actually said that, that I thought it was cute and he smiled, ugh I love that smile so much.” Mark sighed and smiled, just at the thought of Jinyoung’s smile. Mark looked over at Jackson, who was smiling too, even though Mark could tell he wanted nothing more than to call him an idiot and suggest they order takeout.

“So then, he said ‘speaking of cute, I don't think it’ll work out with selfie-guy’ – meaning me – and I was kind of freaking out, but then he said, ‘I need a shoulder to cry on, are you free tomorrow?’ Jackson, this guy has such good game, oh my god. Bam was right, he’s a genius.”

 

“So, he’s a suave little psycho, continue.”

“Fuck you”

“Fuck you too, babe. Anyway, continue.” Jackson said with a little smirk.

“So, we walked out to the parking lot, and then he mentioned the whole not replying last night thing. He apologised and said it was because he wanted to ask me out in person. Then he like did this _thing_. Here, get up” Mark said, and Jackson whined in protest. Mark stood up and pulled Jackson up with him. Jackson reluctantly stood in front of Mark and said, “make it quick lover boy, the Simpsons is on at six-thirty.”

“Okay, so he said he was free tomorrow after 2, and then apologised for not texting because he wanted to ask me to hang out in person, then he did this” Mark proceeded to brush his fingertips along the outside of Jackson’s wrist, and my thumb against the interior. Mark stepped forward, like Jinyoung had and looked into Jackson’s eyes. “Then he said, ‘you’re so cute’ and like looked down at my mouth like he was about to kiss me or something.”

“Okay, damn.” Jackson said as they moved apart and sat back down, “that was just you, but holy shit, that was pretty hot.”

“God, I know. And he’s a year younger than me, a full year. But he’s so, I don’t know, mature? He seems so mature and suave, that’s the only word for it.”

“So, what did you decide, are you gonna hang out?”

“I said I was free, and we just talked about randsom stuff. I can barely remember, like, I was _so_ shaken up. How can that cute little nerd have such good game?” Mark said more to himself than to Jackson before continuing with the ‘I Saw Jinyoung Today’ saga. “So, he’d call me hyung since I’m older. And then his friends wanted to get home and he said he’d text me later. That was about it. I didn’t want to text him because he said he’d text first. Plus he’s probably hanging out with his friends. He might still be driving too, so I’ll just wait until he texts. It’s weirder if I text first, right? After he said he’d text me… so yeah.”

 

Mark’s insecurity was palpable.

“Check his Instagram, maybe he posted.” Jackson said, trying to lift the mood a little.

“I checked this morning, it was just a picture of some bookshelves in his room.”

Jackson’s eyebrows shot up for a second time, “care to explain how you know what his bedroom looks like, Mark Yien Tuan?”

Mark shoved Jackson back against the couch before saying, “oh shut up, the book he was reading that day in the coffee shop was on the shelf, so it must be his bedroom.”

Jackson scoffed, “wow, how much did you have to zoom in to spot that one, Sherlock?” he asked as he lay back and grabbed his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. “Let’s just check again anyway. People with that many followers usually post like two or three times a day, right?” Jackson said as he typed Jinyoung’s username into the search bar and tapped into his profile. “Damn, he does look sexy in a beanie” he said, before turning the screen to show Mark that he’d been right. Jinyoung had updated his account. Twenty-eight minutes ago. Mark grabbed Jackson’s phone, holding it in two hands like it was something precious. He melted a little bit when he saw the caption.

 

Jinyoung had posted a picture of himself in his car, there were a few other car selfies dotted throughout his profile. He’d made good use of the early evening sunlight and caught a really good picture of him smiling sweetly into the camera. He still had the beanie on, his hair was still peeking out adorably and his glasses framed his ‘eye-smile’ – as Jaebum said they were called – perfectly. The picture wasn’t that different from the others on his profile showcasing his handsomeness and ‘perfect boyfriend style’ as his followers dubbed it. The caption however said: ‘Guys, I saw my crush today again.’ Girls in the comments were asking if his crush was the ‘handsome oppa’ he’d followed yesterday. Mark pulled his phone out of his pocket to check his Instagram. He had two-hundred and four follow requests. “Holy shit, Jackson his fans are insanely cute, look!” Mark turned my phone screen towards Jackson, who had once again been pulled back to the TV.

He was pre-occupied with the Simpsons, but he glanced Mark’s way and nodded without really looking at what was being shown to him.

“Wow”, he said dryly, “let them follow you. Maybe they’ll write fan-fictions about you two.”

Mark was out of cushions to throw at him, so instead he settled for smacking Jackson’s thigh hard. “Ah, stop! I have practise again tomorrow morning.” He said before throwing his legs over Mark’s.

“Mark, buddy?”

Mark looked up from his phone, where he was creeping through Jinyoung’s Instagram. “Yeah?”

“Stop being a stalker and order some take-out, will you?”

At least Jackson had waited longer than expected.

\---

Instead of take-out they called Jaebum who was finishing up a shift at one of his parent’s restaurants. He didn’t really work there. He didn't really _work_ either. Not in the normal sense of taking shifts, committing to one location, and well… being present consistently. Rather he just stopped by one of the two locations in town, and occasionally one of the ones in the city when he had the time, sporadically. Just to make sure things were going well, and to check up with the managers regarding the pay-roll before the month’s wages were sent out. He killed three birds with one stone; we couldn’t call him a lazy restaurant heir, and he also didn’t seem like _that_ much of an asshole when he stopped by to pick up free food for his friends. Plus, he could flirt with the cute waitresses and sometimes the customers when he felt bold enough, which was 9 out of 10 times that he was there.

Jaebum stopped by Bambam’s place along the way to pick him up, and a half hour after Mark had called Jaebum, the four of them were all sitting cross legged on the living room floor, watching a Simpson’s marathon, eating Korean take-out. Jaebum had swiped two bottles of soju from the back room on his way, which meant the four of them would probably be having another sleep over again tonight.

 

“Mark saw his little boyfriend again today” Jackson said, as he reached over the food to grab one of the bottles. “Oh yeah?” Bambam said and Mark nodded, smiling. Jackson poured out some soju starting from the eldest and moved to pour some into Jaebum’s empty cup. “Where did you see him?” Bambam asked as he held his glass out for Jackson to fill.

“At college, today.”

“Our college? Briar?” Jaebum asked, before he took a sip of his drink. Mark nodded and gave them the quick version of the story he’d told Jackson as he poured out some soju for Jackson.

“Hey, hey” Jackson said as he stood up, taking a long drink before putting the cup down on the table. “If I had to experience you being flirted with second-hand, then so do they. Lemme do the part where he held your hand”

“He held your hand?!” Bambam exclaimed as Jackson pulled him up to use him as the test dummy.

“Well not exactly, Jackson just get it over with will you.”

“No, no! You do the voice over and I’ll act it out.”

“Yeah, let’s do that” Bambam said bouncing up and down in agreement. Jaebum sighed and Mark poured him out another drink. Jaebum’s ‘straight’ little heart could barely handle it all. Though Mark thought it had more to do with watching Jackson pretend to flirt with Bambam than anything else.

 

“Okay” Mark said, clearing his throat a little to add to the dramatics, “so, he was standing in front of me, and he said he was sorry for not replying to my text last night.”

“Mark, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t reply to the dick pic you se—” Jaebum and Bambam burst into a round of hysterics. “He did not say that! Jackson, do it right or sit down.” Mark warned, and Jackson rolled his eyes in defeat. “Okay, jeez. Let’s start over.”

“So, take two. He apologised, _properly_ , for not replying and said it was because… Jackson your line please.”

“Mark,” Jackson said, stepping forwards to close the distance a little bit between he and Bambam. “I’m sorry I didn't reply to your text last night.” As if he knew what had happened Bambam cut in and said “No, it’s okay you were probably busy.”

“No, it's just that – can I do it now?” Jackson asked as he turned to look at Mark. Mark gave a curt little nod and Jackson went in for the grand finale.

“It’s just that”, he stepped forward and looked into Bambam’s eyes. The height difference between Jinyoung and Mark wasn’t present between Bambam and Jackson, but Jackson made up for it with his build and natural confidence. He extended his arm without stepping forward and brushed his fingers against Bambam’s wrist, and his thumb up from the bottom of Bambam’s palm to the interior of his wrist like Mark had shown Jackson earlier. “I wanted to ask you to hang out, in person.” Jackson stepped forward, closing the distance between him and Bambam a little more than Jinyoung had in reality, but it fit the atmosphere Jackson had built.

“You’re so cute” Jackson said, pulling Bambam a little closer before looking down at his mouth and back up into his eyes.

Bambam’s eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ as he looked over at Mark. Jaebum yelled “Christ, this happened in school?” Mark bit back a smile and nodded his head. “Holy shit, that honestly got me a little worked up” Bambam said as he sat back down. “Oh heavens” he said, throwing an arm over his eyes like some kind of vintage Hollywood starlet, “Mr. Park sure knows what he’s doing. That was hot even though it was just Jackson.”

“Hey! What do you mean by ‘just Jackson’?” Jackson called before he took his seat next to Mark and finished his drink. Jaebum reached over and poured him another round, he looked over at Mark who nodded ‘yes’ to his offer of more.

 

“I mean, Mark must have _died_ because he actually has a crush on the guy. I felt it even though it was just you, as in just a friend.” Jackson nodded and Jaebum scoffed. “So, he held your hand, big deal. It’s the fact he almost kissed you, that’s the issue.”

“Issue?” Jackson said, eyes narrowing and leaning forward. A fight was brewing, Bambam and Mark grinned at each other and sat back a little bit. “What’s the issue there? They like each other. End of.”

“Yeah, but you can't just do stuff like that in school.” Jaebum said, passing the more than half empty bottle to Bambam, who reached forward to pour Jaebum another drink. Adding fuel to the fire.

“Why the fuck not, because they’re guys?” Ding, ding, ding. Round one.

Jaebum knocked back his drink in one shot and pulled a face. “Jesus, when did I say that? I just mean you can’t just kiss for the first time in school.”

“And why not?” Jackson said, crossing his arms and looking Jaebum dead in the eyes.

“What’s with the serious eye contact, Wang? Did I say they should never kiss on campus? Did I say they should never kiss? I just mean they should wait. Stop projecting your bullshit on me.”

Round two. Jackson rolled his eyes and barked out a bitter, humourless ‘ha!’ The two drinks had hit him. They hadn’t been drinking out of shot glasses, which Jaebum felt bad about taking from the restaurant. It was bad enough he was putting in orders for his friends and taking drinks. Stealing tableware would have definitely over the line. Instead they were drinking out of  the random assortment of glasses at Jackson and Mark’s. With Barely two drinks between them all they’d almost finished the first bottle of soju. And Mark had been a _touch_ heavy handed with his pouring. “Me?! Projecting? Says the one who’s pissed off at two being honest with themselves. You sure you’re not just mad because you—”

Jaebum jumped in to cut off Jackson’s last word. “I’m what? What do you know about me, huh? You’re a fucking _psychology_ major, you’re _not_ a real fucking doctor? And anyways, who asked you to be Jinyoung’s number one fanboy?”

Bambam and Mark looked at each other again, not sure whether Jackson and Jaebum were still in the realm of play-fighting. Jackson seemed to have struck some kind of nerve.

“Why are you shouting at me?” Jackson said, though at present he was the only one shouting.

“Why did you attack me to begin with?” Jaebum countered.

“Who fucking attacked you?” Jackson said, raising his voice, “it’s not my problem that I had to call you out for being a dick about Mark liking a guy.” Until now they’d been talking loudly, but Jackson was getting heated. Round three had begun.

“A dick about _what_?” Jaebum had matched Jackson tone for tone, volume level for volume level.

“For being a dick about two guys kissing. Or almost kissing. Or wanting to. I don’t know, you know what I mean” Jackson had by now begun to card his hands through his near platinum coloured hair.

“Why are you getting so fucking heated? You’re not even that gay!” Bambam and Mark’s eyebrows shot up, in an unexpected twist, Jackson and Jaebum skipped straight to the final. The warm-ups were over. This was the danger zone. When Jackson talked about guys Jaebum would roll his eyes and beg to hear about something, anything, else. If Jackson talked about a girl he’d thought was pretty, or nice, or any remotely favourable human characteristic Jaebum would sneer and tell him to ‘stick to being gay’. Bambam and Mark talked about boys being handsome, and even complimented Jaebum at times. Their gayness was no problem and Jaebum treated them as he would any friend. He treated them better even. He’d joke around about not wanting to hear anything ‘worse than pg-13’ but that was the worst of it. Jackson on the other hand. It seemed the mere thought of Jackson being attracted to _anyone_ was almost repulsive to Jaebum. Anything the deviated past friendly curiosity was shot down instantly if it came out of Jackson’s mouth. Jaebum’s jealousy was obvious to any outsider, though at times it seemed to Bambam and Mark that perhaps Jaebum just hated Jackson and his bisexuality all together.

Mark hadn’t even seen when Jackson had stood up, but he watched him walk over to Jaebum and stand over him. Jaebum got up and looked Jackson in the eyes, both of them breathing heavier, faces flushed, eyes narrowed. Bambam and Mark looked over at each other and Bambam mouthed ‘we’re about to lose a hundred bucks’ at Mark, who had to drop his head to stifle his laughter and keep the show going.

“What the fuck does that mean? Just because I date girls too doesn’t mean I’m less attracted to guys. Why does everything have to be so black and white with you?”

“So, what, you want a medal for being greedy? Congrats, you’re bi. Whatever. Sorry, let it go.”

“ _Whatever_? Let it go? Who are you, Elsa? Why are you making this about me? You were being a prick to Mark, not me.”

“Mark,” Jaebum said, looking over at Mark, “hyung, you know I didn't mean it like that, right? You know I don’t… I don't care about that stuff, right?” Mark nodded and reached out to pull Jackson back to his side of the table.

“You’re a fucking prick at times, hyung, you know that, right?” with that small acknowledgement of the hierarchy of their group the air cleared suddenly. Jackson sat down beside Mark and threw his head back drunkenly against the couch. “You’re literally the worst person I know…” Jackson said causing a laugh to break out.  Jackson sighed and muttered “but I love you.” Mark tensed up. The four of them told each other they loved one another all the time, every day almost. When they ended calls, when one team beat another at some video game, when Jackson bought Mark coffees in college; when Bambam told them, that through some connection, he’d gotten them a table at some exclusive club, their standard reply was almost always ‘I love you’ usually followed by ‘dude’ or ‘bro’ or ‘hyung’. Hearing Jackson be so… genuine. So real. It was almost scary. The way the dynamics of their groups shifted for a split second with the way Jackson muttered a drunken, sincere ‘I love you’ to Jaebum. To a friend. To their best friend. It scared Mark. He didn’t want things to ever change, they couldn’t date each other, they couldn’t mess up their perfect little family. There had been a time when Mark and Jackson had mistaken their compatibility for chemistry, briefly, but they were all older now and knew the value of a friendship like this. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know, Wang. Now stop fucking talking and drink up.” Jaebum said as he cracked open the second bottle and poured a drink for Jackson and then for Mark. Hearing Jaebum’s easy dismal quelled Mark’s fear, but his heart broke a little for his best friend. Jackson groaned as Jaebum poured out more for Jackson to drink, “I have practice at 6am tomorrow” Jackson said, but he still tapped his cup against Mark’s and drank his drink in one shot.

\---

We cleared up, Jackson drank a few glasses of water and a Gatorade in an attempt to avoid a hangover and be up for his fencing practice, the whole while he kept saying ‘if I lose my scholarship _you’re_ paying my tuition’ to Jaebum. While he went to wash up, and Jaebum and Bambam played ‘rock, paper, scissors’ for who’d get the couch and who’d have to share with either Jackson or me. Jaebum won the couch, but at the end of the night as we split up to go to bed Jaebum still trailed behind Jackson, like some sort of horny baby duck, as he walked towards his bedroom.

In Mark’s room, Mark tossed an old t-shirt at Bambam and changed into himself then crawled under the covers. Bambam sat on top of his bed and passed Mark the glass of water he’d brought from the kitchen.

“Thanks”

“No worries.” After a pregnant pause he said, “Mark?”

Mark hummed in response.

“Mark, do you think Jackson’s just teasing him in the group chat and stuff, or are they actually like… fucking?”

Mark set down his glass and thought for a second.

“I don’t think it’s that far. But they’ve been fighting a lot more, but they’ve also been nicer to each other too. And Jaebum’s been trying to get us all drunk as a group more often since college started. I mean last night, and then again tonight…”

Bambam smacked Mark’s thigh and said, “stop that makes him sound like such a creep.”

Mark laughed and rubbed the spot Bambam had whacked. “I just mean, I don’t know. I just meant that he’s always looking for an excuse to come here and not leave. I mean Jackson keeps the place _stocked_ with all of Jaebum’s favourite food.”

Bambam murmured ‘yeah’ in agreement. He turned the light off, pulled back the covers and got in bed beside Mark. “I think they like each other, I mean I know Jackson is, like, hungry for Jaebum’s attention, but I think they _really_ like each other. Both of them”, he whispered as he curled up beside Mark.

“Think so too, Bam.” Mark said, opening his arms and letting Bambam stick to him like a little koala.

“I think JB doesn't _want_ to like Jackson though, at least he doesn’t want to admit to himself that he likes him. I don't even think they’ve kissed actually, now that I really think about it” Bambam said lowly, as though Jaebum might hear them whispering though he was four walls away.

“You think so?” Mark asked, and he felt Bambam nod against his chest.

“Yeah, Jaebum’s, well he’s just…”

Bambam didn’t have to say it. Mark knew the word he was looking for.

Jaebum was afraid. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Markjin's first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know I haven't updated this fic in a million years. I've been busy with school, writing this fic and writing another one that'll be coming along soon(ish). I wanted to wait a bit longer to update the next few chapters of this fic so I could post a few chapters at once, including some wilder ones and ones that showcase these characters pasts and personalities a bit more. 
> 
> Instead I've decided to upload the chapters I've written - one per day- so I can get some feedback from you guys. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm excited to share a new chapter again for the first time in a while. So please give lots of feedback! 
> 
> This one is a little short but I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Thank you :)

CHAPTER 8

Jinyoung

I didn’t text you. I updated my Instagram, and you saw it. You even liked it. For a while I’d begun to feel like that account was just a waste of time. Just somewhere I went to see what the fragile bubble of normalcy I’d built for myself looked like from the outside. A reminder that there’s something to lose. A remind that if I could act normal, I could be normal. Be good.

 

But now I have you. You’re my reason to behave. I don’t even need to pretend, I really want to be a good guy, just for you.

 

The sun is barely up, and I’ve got a class in less than 4 hours. If I text you now would you reply? Would you be awake? Should I lead with something generic, or should I ask you a question about us? There _is_ an ‘us’, right?

I chicken out and just type:

 **Me:** Hey, morning

I locked my phone and moved to the shower. There’s no way I could go back to sleep after texting you, so I may as well get up now.

I can’t stop replaying yesterday over and over in my head. The way you forgave me, so selflessly, when I apologised for not texting you back. The way you parted you lips slightly when I brushed my hand against your wrist. That little sigh when you smiled. Everything about it was perfect. I wanted to hold your hand, to kiss you. To do more. I’ve been trying so hard to be patient, but you’re making it difficult. The way you looked at me when I got closer to you. God, it would have been so easy to just pull you in, to draw you closer to me, to lean down slightly and press my lips against yours.

I’m thinking about your mouth, your lips, those perfect teeth. About the way you bite your lips slightly when you smile. That little huff of air, that almost-sigh you make before a grin spreads across your face. The thought of you sighing, then thought of you moaning enters my head.

 

Remembering turns into fantasising, very quickly.

 

Your arms are wrapped around my shoulders, your fingers digging down into my skin. I can’t shake the thought of you letting out a breathy cry as I push into you. Suddenly you’re panting, we’re breathless. You’re desperate for more. Telling me to go deeper. Harder. Faster. Whispering my name. Your breath warm against my neck like the steam around me now.

I’m biting down on my lip and shooting cum into my hand and onto my stomach before I even realise what I’d been doing.

 

I can barely control myself anymore, even when I’m alone. Imagine if you’d been here. 

 

That thought sets me off again. All I see is the image of you in front of me, on your knees. Wet hair pushed back, your damp eyelashes outlining your brown eyes. Those doe eyes looking up at me, your lips parted, your warm mouth laying open. Expectant. Silently pleading, _begging_ for me.

 

I think I just became a ‘morning person’.

 

When I get out of the shower there’s a message from you.

 **My Mark:** Morning J early class?

 **Me:** I’m just a morning person. You?

You reply straight away. Apparently, the sound of Jackson leaving for his morning fencing practice woke you. You ask if I still want to hang out today and I want to pat you on the back for being so forward. That must have been tough for you. I wish you’d have more confidence, if only you knew how hard it was for me to control myself around you. Even when I’m not around you it’s challenging.

 **Me:** Definitely! You’re done at one, right?

 **My Mark:** Yeah, I can meet you wherever J

 **Me:** okay great. I’ll give you a ride home after

 **My Mark:** are you sure?

 **Me:** Of course, I insist

 

How else am I supposed to figure out where you live?

\---

 

Class was boring. The only highlight was being asked out to lunch by the skipping-girl and her friend Eundong, or Eunhwa – or something to that effect – and telling them I had a date. A date. You and I are going out on a date. I mean, neither one of us said the actual word _date_ but what else could we be doing? I texted you and you said you’d head to our coffee shop –  I’m not calling it ‘ _Birch’_ , if the owners wanted it to have a real name they’d pull all that green shit down. Even in the winter, the dead vines still obscured the overhead sign. At most I’ll call it the ‘nature-ish looking’ coffee shop. I can't help but smile when I think about that, you’re so innocent.

On the drive to the coffee shop I can’t help but think about what you’ll be wearing. You’re always dressed so casually. You’re a ‘baggy sweater and ripped jeans’, ‘baseball caps and flannel shirts’ kind of guy. It’s cute, I bet you can ride a skateboard as well. You’re such a Californian stereotype.

 

I park a block away and walk. You’ve been in there alone for about an hour, my poor baby. When I get there though, you aren’t alone. You’re talking to the teenage – I assume – part-timer that works there. Something hot and sharp, akin to betrayal, sparks to life in me when I see you laughing at whatever the kid just said. If he’s so funny why don’t you just date him? Are you even dating me? You don’t laugh at me the way you’re laughing at him, with the corners of your eyes pushed up by your smile, leaning forward, as though you can’t wait for the next words to come out of his mouth.  I want to make you laugh like that, I want that laugh all to myself.

 

You turn you head to the door and I realise how wrong I was. Everything is a hundred-percent brighter, better, more beautiful when you look at me. You smile wider, your eyes fill up with excitement. Everything around me, everything about me, is better when you’re looking at me. Is it because when I look at you, when I think about you, I’m a better person. Is that what love is? The rest of the world can have the laugh I saw earlier, this is different. This is like magic. I want this all to myself. I want to run over to you, throw my arms around you and apologise. I got angry without thinking. When other guys look at you, I get so anxious. This is all still so new, so…raw? I don’t know what this is. I just know I need you to tell me, to show me, every day that you’re mine, or I’ll go crazy. I want to drag you out of here, I don’t want anyone else to see you smiling like this, smiling at me. If I had my way we’d never leave my room. I want to lock you away and give you everything you could ever need. I want to make you smile like that every day. Not just everyday but every second of every minute of every single hour that’ll make up the rest of our lives. That thought hits me like a bullet train. Like an arrow to the heart. If I play this right, if I don’t mess this up, today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Today is the first day of _Us_.

 

I don’t have room to fuck up, at all.

 

The kid turns around and smiles at me, I smile back because you’re looking. Because I have to be nice to him, because you're nice to him. Because I’m nice now.

“Oh” he says with a little smile, “you two are friends? You both come here so much. ‘These guys should be friends’ I always thought that way. Or, I always thought that?” his voice ticks up at the end, as though he’s asking himself and not us. “Anyway, you guys fit well together.” I almost feel bad for instantly hating the guy, he seems sweet, and he’s smart enough to know we belong together. But there’s something about him that makes me feel, perhaps, drawn to him? There’s a familiarity about him. Other than the fact I’ve seen him on shift here twice before, there’s a certain homely feel to him.

 

“Hi, I’m Jinyoung Park” I say, giving him my hand. His eyebrows shoot up and it seems as though a weight lifts off his shoulders. And when he starts speaking again I realise why. 

“By chance you… you don’t speak Korean, do you?” He’s so nervous and excited at the same time. Him being Korean explains a lot. Like the familiarity I felt towards him, as well as the cute, almost backwards syntax of his sentence.

“Ha, yeah I can. Hello, I’m Park Jinyoung”

“Hello, I’m ninet- actually now I guess I’m _twenty_ -year-old Choi Youngjae. Nice to meet you. My birthday was in September, so I’m still getting used to saying twenty.” It seems as though he can’t end a sentence without laughing. I almost want to hug him.

“Ah I guess we’re your hyungs then, I’m twenty-two and my” – my boyfriend, my soon-be-boyfriend, my Mark, what do I call you – “umm… he’s a year older.”

Lame.

You nod and Youngjae turns to you, surprised, “Hyung! You said you’re Chinese!” His look of shock and betrayal drew a laugh out of you. “I am! I just know some Korean too, because of that friend I told you about.”

Youngjae nodded and crossed his arms, “Are you sure you’re not just a closeted K-pop fan? It’s okay hyung, lots of boy-groups have fanboys these days!”

“Fanboy?! What makes you think I like b—” You glanced over in my direction and I couldn’t help but start laughing along with Youngjae. “Well…I like girl groups too!”

Youngjae nodded, not quite believing you I’m sure, and turned to me. “Hyung, do you want anything?” I wanted to get out of here and work towards having something better to call you than ‘my friend’.

I shook my head ‘no’ and you took this as our cue to get going.

As we walked out the door you called out “Bye Youngjae.” The kid’s head popped out from behind the espresso machine and he swiftly glanced around for the source of the noise. He was so cute, like a hamster or maybe a squirrel. But he also had the air of someone barely keeping their heard above water. Maybe a platypus or a beaver would be more fitting?

 

“So, where to?” You crossed your arms behind your back and walked ahead of me a little, before turning to face me, stopping me in my tracks. You looked so cute like this. I can’t help but wonder, how many of these oversized sweaters do you own? I’ve seen one like this on you before. Last time it was pale grey with a frayed hem. Today it’s a rosy-beige colour, sleeves pushed up to the middle of your forearm. Your jeans are denim-blue and artfully ripped to shreds at the knees.  God. You’re too cute.

 

Your eyes go wide, and you look down, grinning to yourself at something. Are…are you blushing?

“Umm, thanks. You—you uhh, you too”

Me too?

Me too what?

Oh.

 _Oh_. Fuck. Did I say that out loud? Am I saying _this_ out loud? Can you read my mind?

_Can you read my mind?_

Your staring at me, waiting. I don’t want to dwell on how crazy you’re making me anymore.

 

“Umm. Well firstly, we have to go to my car. Then, well, we can do whatever you want to do.” I smile at you and you smile back.

“Actually,” you look up at the sky and back to me. “do you want to head over to the park? The weathers really nice today, right?”

I nod, or at least it feels like I’m nodding. Really, I’m just watching the way your biting your bottom lip while you wait for my answer. My little vampire.

 

“Yeah, let’s go to the park!” Walking back to my car, I want to hold your hand, but I can’t. Not yet, not when I’d have to let go too soon to get in and drive.

We turn around the block and head over to my car. I click the keys open and walk round to the passenger side door and open it up. I am, after all, a gentleman. You smile, and I reach out for your backpack. “Here, I’ll put that in the trunk for you.”

“Oh, th-thanks.” You peel it off, strap by strap and look down at the pavement as you hand it to me.

I wish you wouldn’t do that, I wish you weren’t so nervous around me. I know nerves mean excitement, at least I think thats what they mean in our case. But I’ll always be excited to be near you, I want you to be in the same state of comfortable excitement that I am in.

I wish we could skip this bit and get straight to being in love.

When does _that_ part come? The part where you’ll reach out and lock our fingers together, the part where you won't second guess brushing my hair out of my eyes, the part when touching you is second nature. When do I get to call you my boyfriend? When do I get a key to your place? When do we pick up the keys to _our_ place? When does saying ‘I love you’ replace saying ‘good morning’ or ‘goodbye’? When do we stop needing to say goodbye?

 

I want that.

 

Deep breaths Jinyoung. Deep breaths. I can wait. I’ve waited all my life for this, I can wait a while longer. I can’t rush this, I can’t rush you. I’ll indulge myself in those near-torturous acts of contact. Brushing my hand against yours, looking at you for longer than I should. But you have to come to me. You have to let me know. Let me know that you want me. All of me. The me that’s been spurned and beaten back, the me that’s been forced to give way to the clean cut, well-mannered, _normal_ Park Jinyoung that most people see. Both of us.

 

I shut the trunk and walk over to the driver side door. Before I can reach out to grab the handle, you lean over, unlocking then pushing open the door slightly. I feel a smile spread across my face as I get in my car.

“Thanks”

You smile at me as you reach back for your seatbelt. “So, park?”

“Yes?” shit you meant—

Your laugh bounces around me and I feel much better about being an idiot.

“I meant, shall we go to the—”

“Park.” I can't hold back a sigh and you laugh again. “Yeah, let’s go.”


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Mark

Jinyoung was a really, really good driver. Maybe the mixture of growing up navigating the mess that is LA traffic and having to deal with Jaebum’s slightly – very – narcissistic tendencies behind the wheel have made Mark think anyone who obeyed traffic laws was a good driver. Jaebum, with his near brand-new car, droves as though other road users should thank him for bringing his ‘baby’ out on the same streets as their cars. If not for his willingness to act as a luxury taxi service for Mark, Jackson, and Bambam, the trio would have probably released the parking break and pushed his car into a lake.

Jinyoung drove the way driving instructors prayed that their students would drive after getting their licences. Every turn was indicated, he was conscientious and drove comfortably under the speed limit. He was like a traffic cops wet dream. Jinyoung drove a newer model SUV, pristine inside and out despite probably being 4 or more years old. The way he drove, his car could be as old as he was and still be in amazing condition. 

“You know, you’re a really good driver.” Mark said, watching Jinyoung merge into a lane.

Jinyoung looked over and smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in his signature way.

“I actually failed my driving test, twice” he said, as he looked to the left and began signalling to turn. “The first time I almost got into an accident while the driving instructor was giving me directions. I was that nervous. The second time I was still ridiculously nervous, despite practising with my sister for like three months straight. I rolled up onto the curb and almost crashed into a bus stop, even though I probably wasn’t even going 15 miles an hour.” Mark couldn’t help but laugh as he told the story. “Then, once I got back on the road, I started driving literally in the middle of two lanes, I was that worried about pulling onto the curb again. The instructor kept having to take the wheel. Less than half way through the course I asked if he would just fail me, so we could both go home. The examiner literally said ‘I think that would be for the best, Mr. Park’”

“You’re kidding?”

He smiled again, and Mark’s heart did that weird ‘squeezing’ thing it had been doing since Jinyoung first walked into the coffee shop almost two weeks ago. “Nope! I was _that_ bad. All the theory stuff I aced, but when it came down to actually driving… I was awful.”

“You seem so comfortable, you’re definitely a better driver than I am.”

He stole a glanced at Mark and laughed, “full disclosure, only got my licence the summer of before college started, only because I needed to learn _._ Up until then I didn’t bother trying again. In fact,” he paused and seemed to blush slightly. He sighed and gave Mark a shy grin, “my sister used to drop me off at high school. Weird, I know.”

“it’s not! It’s actually really sweet. Are you guys super close, you and your sister?”

Jinyoung smiled again and before Mark could stop himself he was smiling too smiled too. He couldn’t believe how deep he’d fallen already.

“Yeah, we’re pretty close, I’ve got two actually. They’re both older.”

The thought of Jinyoung, as mature as he seems, being the baby of his family made Mark melt. He was sure there would be tons of baby pictures of Jinyoung – maybe in his attic back home or in a dresser somewhere– being dressed up like some kind of living doll. God knows there are dozens of those of Mark in his parents’ house back in California.

 

Jinyoung’s voice announcing “well, we’re here” pulled Mark out of his daydream. They’d parked among a row of cars opposite the gateway to ‘Mid-Campus Park’ as the student populations of both Everett and Briarwood affectionately called it. More often than that, it was called ‘the Mid’. Situated in the midpoint between Everett and Briar, the Mid was about as wholesome as it was shady. Fountains, flowers and families could all be seen dotted around the park on any given day, as could the odd weed dealer. Any drugs more sinister than that had to be sourced in the city, their cosy little college town didn’t was as metropolitan as that. The Mid was the perfect place for any disillusioned twenty something to hangout between classes once the novelties of campus life had worn off, usually after freshman year.

 

Jinyoung undid his seat belt and walked around to Mark’s side and opened the door for him. That weird giddy feeling hit him like a ton of bricks again.

 

As they walked through the park a – not quite comfortable – silence fell between them. Mark wanted to talk, more than anything but… his usual fear of saying the wrong thing came over him again. As they walked through the park Mark kept on the lookout for something, anything he could talk to him about. He wanted to talk to him, he wanted to ask about Jinyoung’s classes, about how he was find junior year. He felt as though them having similar majors should give them plenty to talk about, but the fear of not meeting Jinyoung’s expectations was holding him back. Worse than that was the fear that Mark might say exactly what Jinyoung had expected, and he’d lose all interest in him because he thought Mark was boring.

Mark took another look around as they walked down a wide tree lined path. Mark caught sight of some students, around their age, playing a game of catch on one of the sprawling lawns of the park. Tossing the ball between their baseball mitts, doing more talking than actual physical exertion. As Mark was about to ask Jinyoung if he played any sports his phone rang in his pocket.

“That’s my phone” Mark cringed at his own lack of subtlety or finnese… “Umm sorry lemme just…” he pulled his phone out and glanced at the caller ID. Jackson.

“Sorry, it’s Jackson so I should…”

Jinyoung nodded and smiled “Go ahead.”

Mark tapped accept. “Hey, Jackson! What’s up?”

There was a pause on the other end and then a sigh. “So, you’re with Jinyoung, huh?”

“How could you tell?” Mark asked, taking a quick glimpse back at Jinyoung who was heading towards some greenery, trying to give Mark some polite distance to take his call.

“Because you said, ‘hey Jackson’ instead of ‘hey’ like you wanted to let someone else know who you were talking to.”

“Wow… so why did you call, Sherlock? To brag about passing psych 101?”

“Sherlock! Says the guy who analyses Jinyoung’s Instagram picyures like they’re crime scene photos.” Jackson laughed a little then continued, “anyway, I just called in case you were having an awkward little date and wanted to come home. You can just say I’m sick and I need you to go to the pharmacy or something. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah ‘you wanna come home’, or yeah ‘you’re okay’, which one?” Jackson asked, and Mark could virtually hear him leaning forwards, ready to start grilling him about what had happened to make him feel the need to leave.

Mark looked over at Jinyoung, who was taking a photo of… grass?

“Um, I’ll come home later, don’t worry.”

“Late? Or Later?” Jackson asked, with a mischievous up-tick in his voice.

“What’s the difference?”

“Well…” a cackle travelled from Jackson’s phone and landed right in Mark’s ear, as though they were standing right beside each other.

“Well?”

“Well! Later means I’ll be home for dinner, or I’ll be home in an hour or two. Late… means I’ll be taking my pants off.”

“I’ll be home later. Bye.”

“Wait. If you’re coming home late let me know, because I’m thinking about making dinner. Jinyoung can come too. Though there’s only enough food for the two of us. But you just put your ass on a plate and he can eat tha—” before Jackson could finish the word Mark hung up and put his phone away.

As Mark began heading towards him, Jinyoung looked up and smiled, pointing at the grass in he was perched beside.

“That’s some cool grass…?” Mark said, unsure of what reaction to give to… some grass. Jinyoung laughed and showed Mark a photo of two ladybirds acting a little less than ‘lady-like’ with each other.

“Oh. Wow.”

Jinyoung put out a hand and Mark pulled him up. “Wow indeed”, Jinyoung said taking a glance downwards before saying “so, is Jackson okay?”

Looking down at their still-connected hands, Mark felt heat creep up his neck at the thought of the ‘late versus later’ conversation. “Yeah” he said, taking his hand out slowly of Jinyoung’s grasp. Mark was hoping Jinyoung wouldn’t realise how weird Mark was being about all of this “he’s just, just being Jackson.”

Jinyoung looked at Mark’s hand, balled into a fist hanging empty by his side, and smiled knowingly. Mark pull his hand further away from Jinyoung as he felt the heat climb further up, making his cheeks burn. ‘How could he already see right through me?’ Mark thought at the sight of Jinyoung’s sly smile.   

“So” Jinyoung said, as he tucked his own phone away and began to walk, “you and Jackson. Is he like your childhood best friend?”

Childhood best friend; amicable exes; fuck-buddies; friends-zoned crushes; close roommates; cousins and even siblings. The pair had been asked in near-countless ways ‘how are you too so close?’ and the answer had always been ‘because he’s Jackson.’ Or ‘because he’s Mark.’ They just were. There was an explanation as to _how_ they became friends, but _why_ were they such a perfect match? Even they couldn’t explain it. Why is the sea near the shore, why is the sky blue, why is day bright and night dark? Those questions all had answers, but those answers couldn’t explain fully. It was just nature. Mark couldn’t _not_ be friends with Jackson, even if he tried to. And he had tried, hard.

“We met in high school actually. I was really shy back then, and he was really out-going. He still is! And I guess I’m still kind of quiet, but I barely talked back then. He was an exchange student and he came to California when I was in my junior year of high school. He was just meant to be there for a few weeks for some sports exchange thing. Our school’s water polo team went to Hong Kong, and his school’s fencing team came to LA.”

“You went to a high school with a _water polo_ team?” Jinyoung interjected, eyebrows aloft, lips curled in a slight smirk.

“It was a college prep school, I know, I know. But hey, you go to Everett so don’t complain about my fancy high school.” Mark said. Jinyoung laughed softly and Mark continued “Well, he ended up in a homestay with a girl I knew, and one day she introduced us all over lunch. At first, I was kind of intimidated by him. He was smart and spoke English and Mandarin _and_ Cantonese, he was athletic and funny and didn’t take a backseat in conversations unless he wanted to. He was the exact opposite of me. He and Jaebum became friends pretty quickly, they fought a lot, and still do, but they’re too similar not to fight. Does that make sense?” Jinyoung nodded.

“It’s like they’re fighting with themselves more than with each other?” Jinyoung asked and Mark nodded his head in a ‘yes’.

“Exactly. It’s like when they need to blow off steam they just fight with each other, over pointless stuff. They’ve been like that since high school. Jackson and I though, we _never_ fight. Not really. We’re just… I don’t know. He gets me. I can just say anything to him and he’ll understand straight away. At first, he kind of had to chase me down. I don’t know why but I was sort of afraid of him. Plus, the fact he’d be going back to Hong Kong at the end of the term meant that even if we got close I’d probably never see him again. So, I figured becoming friends with a hyper-active, uber-popular foreign sophmore would be of no use. But for almost a week he kept a look out for me, we had the same lunch period, so he’d always save a seat for me. Because of him Jaebum and I started hanging out more with that girl, Amber, and her group of friends. Eventually, we all became friends. Once we did, we became best friends almost instantly. We became like the three musketeers Jaebum, Jackson and I. When he went back home during winter break it felt like someone I’d known my whole life had moved away.

 

“That summer we crafted a plan to volunteer at a summer camp, so Jackson could come back to California. JB and I researched for weeks to find one that had a fencing program so Jackson could still train and stuff. So, we ended up spending two weeks at this weirdly fancy Christian summer camp, and we kept doing it until I graduated. We actually made friends with one of the campers there, well he wasn’t _really_ a camper but that’s another story. The next year he became a counsellor too. Jackson transferred schools in his senior year to come to our old high school. He and JB graduated and both decided to come up here to Briar with me.”

 

Jinyoung tilted his head towards a bench, and Mark followed him to it and sat beside him. “You guys all seem like, I don’t know, like a family I guess.”

Mark smiled.

“We are a family. We’ve all made sacrifices and worked really hard to stick together all these years. Especially Jackson. He’s so smart and such a good fencer. He got scouted by Stanford actually. He applied and got early admission but, he chose to stick with his friends.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms to hide his hands from the cold. Mark had long since pulled his sleeves down over his hands, and held the fabric, balled up in his fists. The early autumnal heat had dissipated, and a chill hung in the air. The weather made it clear that Halloween was less than three weeks away.

 

Jinyoung slid closer to me and Mark assured himself it was just in an effort to source some heat. And Mark was leaning closer to him for the same reason. Definitely.

“Wow, that amazing. And does he like it at Briar?”

“Oh, Jackson? He loves it! He’s a brainiac and a total jock too. He made the fencing team cool. He’s like a superstar on campus.”

Jinyoung sighed and began to nod. “That’s good. I thought it would kind of suck, but I guess not.”

“Huh?”

Jinyoung turned to face Mark. With a mask of delicately crafted concern on his fine features he cocked his head slightly. “don’t you hate it?”

“Hate what? That he’s popular? No way! I’ve never wanted to be popular, I’ve only ever wanted a close group of friends. And I don’t think there’s any set of four people on earth closer than we are. Plus, Jackson’s my best friend, I’m happy when he’s happy.” Mark said, as convincingly as he could, more for his own benefit than Jinyoung’s.

Jinyoung smiled shyly and looked up and around, his gaze seemed to follow the patterns made by the falling leaves. He watched as an oak leaf cut a graceful path through the air, and tumbled to the ground lightly. He was silent for a moment before he said, “that’s good! That’s the way it should be. Being known as ‘Jackson friend’ probably isn’t that bad.”

 

Jackson’s friend. Those two words cut through Mark like a knife. Every chance meeting with someone Jackson knew in the halls, or on the walk to class, or in the library. On a rare visit to the gym, even from Teachers’ Assistants for classes Mark didn't even take. Every time Mark had heard ‘Oh, you’re Jackson’s friend’ flashed through his head. Jinyoung turned to look at him again, his eyes were brimming with sincerity and… sympathy?

“I just meant… I don't know what I meant. Sorry.” He looked down at his lap and back up at Mark. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. My sister’s friends always call me ‘Soyoung’s little brother’. I didn’t mean anything by it. Just forget what I said, please?”

“It wasn’t even bad, don't worry, I’ve already forgotten.” Mark said, feigning a laugh. It could barely be called a that. It was the hollow, raw sound following a joke you didn’t get. A joke you hadn't realised you were the punchline of.

Jinyoung stood up and extended his hand to Mark, “come on” he said cheerfully, “let’s go somewhere warmer and forget about how bad I am at talking to people. Are you hungry? It’ll be my treat.”

Mark answered before he could even think about anything outside the moment. All he could think about was breaking away and being Mark. Even though he’d promised Jackson he’d be home soon. Even though if the tables were turned Mark knew he’d be pissed that Jackson would blow him off to hang out with his other friends. Mark didn’t even have the option to do something like this to Jackson. Who other than Jaebum and Bambam would Mark ever hang out with. And why would they ever hang out with Jackson. Without the main character, the sidekick didn’t exist. Mark didn’t care, he wanted to be himself, for once. He wanted a story to tell like last night’s. When, before last night, had the four of them gotten together to hear about _Mark’s_ day? All they every talked out was fencing, and Jaebum’s conquests and how the restaurant was doing. They only ever talked about what some girl in bambam’s class was wearing, or about what had happened when they’d gone out. Everyone else told stories, and Mark just listened, laughed along and did recounted his parts. He wasn’t even a side character, he was Jackson’s understudy. Mark wanted to get out from under Jackson shadow. At least in Jinyoung’s eyes. He wanted to be more than ‘Jackson’s friend’.

“Yeah, let’s go!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Please leave some feedback, I love reading you guys' comments so much <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! I've finally finished editing the Mark parts and can now start updating again, yaaay! For people who are wondering if there have been changes, the answer is YES! The Mark chapters after Markjin's initial meeting have change slightly/a lot depending on the chapters. And those changes will be reflected in the rest of the work. I recommend re-reading the Mark parts. They have changed a little. Mark gets crazy emotional in this next chapter and without at least skimming through the previous chapters It'll seem kind of out of nowhere (hopefully it'll make sense if you re-read some of the Mark chapters)
> 
> As always, let me know what you guys think. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know! I don't have a beta and... I'm honestly so tired lol so I doubt that I caught 100% of my typos.  
> Also I made a twitter!! @WJYJB94 if you're ever bored hit me up there and we can talk :)

CHAPTER 10

  
Mark

Mark spent the whole ride with Jinyoung shifting between trying to hold his hand and telling himself that 9 pm wasn't late. Even as Jinyoung rolled up to his building, even as he walked to the trunk to grab Mark's things for him, even as he opened Mark's door and bid him goodnight. All Mark Tuan could think was, 'this isn't late.'

'This isn't late. 9pm isn't late. It's later. This is later. It's not like I made any promises, it's just one meal. One day without being anchored to Jackson won't send us drifting apart. I'm still his best friend. And undoubtedly, he's mine.' These thoughts floated through Mark's head as he pushed the door of their apartment open and called out to Jackson. He had no reason to have to sneak into his apartment, he had nothing to hide, right? He wasn't a criminal. Ignoring someone isn't a crime.

  
"Hey" Jackson said as he stepped out of his bedroom. His hair was damp, and he was wearing an oversized t-shirt that looked vaguely familiar. One of Jaebum's Mark suspected. "Did you eat?" he asked in a quiet tone that made Mark's guilt intensify. Mark nodded, suddenly unable to meet Jackson's eyes.

"Yeah I ate."

  
Jackson shifted his weight to the right and stood with his shoulder against the threshold of his bedroom door. "With, Jinyoung?" Mark nodded again as he opened his own bedroom door and walked in. He wasn't trying to be petty. He really wasn't. But he couldn't just talk to him, because he already knew how this would all go down. If Mark spoke Jackson would ask him questions. He'd ask about how Mark felt and ask for a detailed summary of what he and Jinyoung did. He'd laugh when Mark recited the jokes Jinyoung had told, even if he didn't find them funny; he'd smile at the things Mark had said during the date because he knew how hard it was for Mark to open up at times. He'd be interested. Genuinely. He wouldn't even care that he'd been left to the wayside in favour of Jinyoung, he'd only want to know how much fun Mark had had. He'd let this slide because he knew how much Mark liked Jinyoung already. Because they were best friends.

How could Mark tell him about his day, how could he talk about his classes, about his maybe-date with his maybe-boyfriend when he'd purposefully not called or texted Jackson, even though he'd known he'd be waiting for him. The knot in Mark's stomach grew at the thought that he'd _purposefully_ wasted Jackson's time just to prove something to himself. What was he even trying to prove? That he had it in him to be an asshole to his best friend? To prove to himself that he could be more than just a sidekick? He'd treated Jackson in a way that Jackson would never even think to treat him. Jackson Wang didn't have a malicious bone in his body.

Even when he was in Hong Kong and Mark was back in California they'd text and call each other every day. He'd let Mark know when he'd be at practice, when he'd be in class, even when he was going to shower so Mark wouldn't feel like he was being ignored. Jackson knew Mark's every phobia, every source of anxiety, everything about Mark, and took impossible steps to shield him from those things. He always had. And now? Mark couldn't even send a text to say that he'd be back later, that Jackson didn't need to worry about him. Jinyoung had even asked about how Jackson was doing while they were eating. Mark had shrugged it off, saying 'people think we're way more involved with each other than we actually are. He's not waiting for me.' He was.

The sound of Mark's bedroom door quietly creaking open and clicking shut made Mark sit up and turn to find Jackson standing with his back to the door, eyes fixed on his.  
"What's wrong? Did something happen with Jinyoung?" he asked, ready to be as attentive as ever. Mark shook his head 'no' and let his eyes fall down to the floor. Jackson crossed his room in several long strides and sat next to him. "Did something happen with… with us? Did I do something?" Jackson began speaking quickly, the way he did when he was getting slightly nervous. Running his sentences together and replacing any English words or phrases with their Chinese or even Korean counterparts when he couldn't remember them. "If you're mad about the 'late or later' thing" he continued "I didn't mean to say you'd just sleep with him after one date or anything. Not that there's something wrong with doing that. I was just trying to lighten the mood, you know. I thought you might be nervous going on a real date with him so soon. If I made your date weird because you started thing about what I said, I'm sorry. I didn't make it weird, right? You guys had fun, right?"  
Hearing Jackson think so deeply about his actions, hearing him worry about Mark's future with a guy he barely knew but nonetheless accepted because if Mark liked someone Jackson tried to too. Seeing him be a better friend in every possible way pushed the already enormous guilt gnawing at Mark's conscience over the edge.

The familiar salty sting of impending tears was followed barely seconds later by fat round tears that rolled down Mark's face and onto his jeans, staining them a darker shade of blue. Mark wanted to apologise, to tell Jackson about his wrongdoing and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to confess to his sins and be absolved, to hear 'it's okay.' He wanted to assure Jackson that it wasn't even a real date, that they had only hung out. But every time he tried to speak, only the sound of guilt-ridden sobs came out. He was crying hard and fast now, barely able to pull in air. He knew something this like this, missing dinner, not texting Jackson back, was nothing monumental. But what it stood for scared him. The admission, that after all these years, he was jealous. Jealous that Jackson was a star in every aspect of his life. He was athletic, smart, kind and handsome. The brightest light in Mark's life was Jackson, but would Jackson say the same? Jaebum and Bambam both fawned over him too. His jokes made tears of joy spring forth. He was always the first person all three of them would think of whenever they had a problem, or a good story to tell. Lecturers loved him. He wasn't just 'Mr. Wang' or another set of numbers enrolled in a class. They knew his name, in every class Mark had taken with him since they began their university careers together by the end of the first term Jackson would be on a first name basis with every TA and professor they'd had. They would ask about his fencing matches, about his other classes, they offered him extensions on papers when he didn't even ask for them.

  
And Mark? Well, he was just 'Jackson's friend'. The handsome but quiet one. The one that seemed stuck up. The guy people only bothered talking to when they needed to ask, 'where's Jackson?' He was no one, nothing without Jackson. Mark wanted to wind back time, he wanted to be different, better. But all he could do was cry. His bitter tears were clouding his vision, so he squeezed his eyes shut tight, held his head back and cried like his tears would save his life.

Jackson grabbed Mark by the shoulders and spun him forty-five degrees, so they were face to face. "Yien. Yien are you okay? Why are you cr- are you hurt? Did he, god… he didn't hurt you, right?" Mark shook his head 'no' again, but the tears wouldn't stop.

  
"Mark", Jackson said, back to speaking in English as his initial panic began to subside. "No matter what happened, or how to it happened… if you got hurt", he sighed and eased his grip on Mark's shoulders, "if he or anyone hurt you, it's not your fault. At all. You can tell me anything."  
'Nothing bad happened. I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm the one at fault.' Mark wanted to say all of those things, but all came out were sobs. He wrapped his arms tight around Jackson's shoulders and buried his head in his chest. Jackson smelt like sandalwood and that pricey shampoo Bambam had told them to use. His shirt smelt faintly of the detergent JB's mom used back when they were in high school. Mark couldn't count the number of times Jaebum's mom had done his laundry for him after a sleep over. How many dinners he had eaten at Jaebum's house, how many times he'd beaten JB at Mario-Kart or Smash Bros, how often Jaebum's parents had hugged him, and thanked him for being such a good friend to their son- these were all the things Mark couldn't remember but over the years they'd added up. They we're more like brothers than friends at this stage. Knowing Jaebum still bought the same detergent as his mom, because he was a mommy's boy deep down made mark cry even more. The thought of his friends being such good, genuine people made him cry even harder.

  
"I'm so-sorry I'm home la-lat-late." Mark managed to get out between sobs. Jackson said something like 'huh?' from above him and Mark, teary-eyed and exhausted from sobbing, looked up at him. He took a second to calm himself, pulled away from Jackson.

"I'm sorry I blew you off," he said "I'm sorry I didn't text you or call, even though you made dinner for me. Even though you're my best friend. I just wanted to hang out with Jinyoung and be Mark. I just wanted to be Mark. I'm sorry."

  
"Be Mark? You're always Mark. What do you mean?" Jackson asked, holding Mark at arm's length, searching for his eyes beneath his too-long bangs. "Do you mean I shouldn't call you Yien? But that's your name too…"

  
"No, I mean I just… I just wanted to be me. Not just…" Mark hung his head. He couldn't say it. "I'm Mark, I'm Yien, I'm me but I just wanted to do something alone. Something by myself. Something where I'm just Mark."

  
Jackson's eyes held something quizzical in them. The set of his brow and the way he narrowed his eyes, revealed he was searching for a coherent meaning in the jumble of words Mark had just said. Jackson's confusion prompted Mark to start speaking again, this time trying to make sense of his own messy emotions before telling them to Jackson.  
"I'm sorry. I know I'm not making sense. I'm just, I'm sorry for not coming home when I said I would. I'm sorry for not calling you. I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I'm sorry for making you worry, nothing bad happened to me. I swear. Jinyoung's really, really nice. He didn't hurt me, he didn't do anything _weird_. I had fun."  
"You had fun?" Jackson asked?

  
Mark nodded 'yes' and Jackson smiled, "so, why are you crying? I don't care that you didn't come home. I literally made the most boring 'athlete-y' dinner ever. You didn't miss much. I'm glad you weren't staring at your phone the whole time, that means you had fun, right? It doesn't make sense to be sobbing like the world's going to end if you had fun, does it?" he asked. And Mark began to laugh.

  
"It doesn't. I didn't know, I guess I'm sorry you ate alone though. I feel…" 'I feel guilty about projecting all my insecurities on you. I feel sorry for trying to punish you for being popular and perfect and everything I'm not' Mark wanted to say. Instead what came out was "dumb. I- I'm sorry for being such as dumb-ass."  
"Stop being sorry" Jackson said, "and start telling me about what you guys did."

So, Mark told him about his day of classes in the morning, about Jinyoung's texts, about the funny barista, Youngjae. Mark told him about Jinyoung's amazing driving, about the park, and the ladybirds. He told him everything, but why exactly he'd started having a panic attack fuelled by guilt. He couldn't mention how he'd jumped to some weird conclusion by himself, or how he could barely eat out of guilt. He couldn't say that his own stupid half-baked attempt at being selfish, at trying to put himself on the same level as Jackson had backfired. But he told Jackson about what a gentleman Jinyoung had been when he'd driven him home. Jackson listened to everything he had to say, he laughed in all the right places and asked all the right questions. He remained the perfect, oblivious, friend. He laughed and smiled, he made Mark smile too, as he unknowingly washed away almost all of Mark's negative feelings. The guilt brought on by his selfishness didn't completely subside, but the anger he'd felt at being known as 'Jackson's friend' washed away completely. Being friends with someone so kind, and funny, and caring was something to be proud of.

\---

  
Mark woke up beside Jackson to the sound of a text coming in. As he rolled over her saw an endearing little nickname flash across his screen and he bolted up. Jinyoung.  
Park Nyeongie: Morning  
Beside him he heard Jackson stir and mumble something into his - Mark's - pillow. Mark disregarded whatever Jackson had tried to say, presuming it was just him muttering something in his sleep, and sprung back into action by unlocking his phone.  
"I said," Jackson muttered, this time more loudly into the pillow, "don't text him straight away."  
Mark rolled his eyes. "Not you too. I thought you didn't subscribe to the whole 'wait twice as long' 'let him chase you' bullshit dating philosophy." he said, though he re-locked his phone and dropped it into his lap.

  
Jackson rolled over and threw one of his forearms over his eyes. "I don't", he said as he reached his free arm behind him to pull open Mark's curtains. "What I subscribe to", he said as he sat up, dragging Mark by the arm up with him, "is not spending the whole morning in bed worrying about what to type, and then realising you're going to be late for your 11 am. How a person can miss a lecture at 11 am, I still don't know."Mark wriggled out of his grip and let his body drop back down onto his bed. His wonderful, glorious, warm bed. "It happens alright!" he grumbled loudly. "Anyway, Jacks, it's not even eight yet." Mark glanced at his lockscreen again, 7.03am, "in fact it's barely even seven. I've got almost four hours before I have to be up"

  
Jackson pulled Mark back up again and held his face in his hands. "No, you have less than four hours before you have to be in class. You can't get out of bed 5 minutes after your class starts. So… that's more reason not to waste the morning! We could -"  
Mark realised what Jackson was getting at and his eyes snapped fully open. "You're trying to get me to go to the gym with you, aren't you?"

Jackson smiled, realising he was caught out even before he could suggest it, and said, "how are you gonna protect Jinyoung with those little chicken legs, huh?"  
Mark flung his leg out aiming for Jackson's side, missing Jackson by a mile and said, "I do not have chicken legs, plus he's a grown up, he doesn't need protecting." Mark pulled his face out from Jackson's hands but before he could drop himself back on his bed, he felt Jackson's hands grab his arms, holding him up. "Mark, don't know you that peaches bruise easily."  
"Stop calling him a peach already!" Mark shot back, but Jackson had gotten him. Not that he had any intentions of joining the 'broad-shoulders' 'egg whites and steaks for breakfast' gang that Jackson and Jaebum were part of - he and Bambam were happy being two pairs of gluttonous carb-eating chopsticks - but one gym session wouldn't kill him. Having scrolled through almost every picture Jinyoung had posted on his page, after trying to memorise every inch of him, Mark had acquiesced that Jinyoung had a pretty good body underneath the button ups, sweaters and cardigans he was so fond of.

  
"I'm gonna go get dressed and stuff, you better be ready by half past." Jackson said as he climbed off Mark's bed and made his way to the bathroom.  
Mark typed out a quick reply to Jinyoung, telling him - with a hint of pride - that he was going to the gym with Jackson before class, and got out of bed.

\---

  
Jackson decided to forgo the normal student gym and brought Mark to the performance centre where varsity athletes worked out. It was in the same building as the regular gym, but this wing of the building had a lot more specialised equipment. And according to Jackson had other perks too depending on what sports teams one was on. The basketball and soccer players got to use the ice baths and massage services as much as they pleased. Last year, in Jackson's freshman year, after winning the North American under 21 league Jackson had not only won the in every category he'd been entered in, but he'd also won the school fencing time a grant for a new training centre in the performance centre wing. As they walked into the centre, Jackson's prowess as a sportsman began instantly apparent. Football players, basketball player, tennis, soccer, all greeted him with a chorus of 'hey dude' as Jackson walked passed them. Mark couldn't help but roll his eyes. He'd probably have to get Jackson to translate anything anyone said to him from 'jock' back into English.

With a playlist ready to go, Mark wandered over to the treadmills, only to be stopped by Jackson. "I've told you so many times, you barely have any body fat to burn, come here", he said as he directed Mark to an area with weights and 'racks' as well as other equipment that looked a lot heavier than the last time Mark had been dragged to the gym. Jackson explained once again which muscle groups Mark should focus on, all of which he had been told before but had long since pushed out of his brain and replaced with song lyrics, and as of late, facts about Jinyoung.  
Jackson lead Mark through a warm up and told him how much weight to pick up and gave him some exercises to do. Mark did as he was told, half out of residual guilt, half out of genuine desire to 'bulk up' as Jackson called it. While Mark obediently went through sets given to him by his pseudo personal trainer, Jackson went through the sets he his coach had told him to do. Each time he finished a set of exercises he'd come over to check on Mark. Asking if the weight was too much, reassuring him that he could cool down and stop any time he wanted. They continued like this until Jackson had run through what he had to do, and Mark had eventually, begrudgingly, completed most of what Jackson told him to go over.

By the time they'd stretched, showered and made their way out of the gym, an hour and a half had elapsed since they'd walked in. With an hour and a half almost to go until Mark's first lecture of the day, Jackson's being later at noon, they decided to call up Jaebum and Bambam to get breakfast together. Mark felt like he needed to see them, though it had barely been three days since they'd all hung out and slept over at Mark and Jackson's apartment. Mark's newfound appreciation and love for his friends needed an outlet, and treating Bambam to breakfast seemed like a good way to show how much he cared. Though Mark knew that if he offered to pay for Bambam, Jaebum would offer to cover the whole bill - due to his perpetual quest to be the 'ultimate hyung', buying Jackson and Bambam whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, in exchange for their adoration. Jackson had stressed the importance of a good meal after working out, Mark decided to bypass his suggestion of Greek yoghurt, eggs and oatmeal and go for pancakes instead. Jackson rolled his eyes, but he too had his heart set on a an less than ideal breakfast of French toast and bacon.

  
As they drove home to grab the stuff they'd need for their day of classes, backpacks and laptops among other things, Mark called Jaebum and then Bambam. They'd all agreed to meet of Main street and walk to their favourite diner. While in the house, between daydreaming of the half stack of pancakes he was about to get, Mark replied to the message Jinyoung had sent him while he was in the gym.

  
"You're about to fall into your phone, seriously" Jackson said as he walked past Mark, heading towards their front door. After last night's debacle, Mark decided that he should try to more attentive, to be a better friend. He resolved to only text Jinyoung in quick bursts; locking his phone after hitting send, rather than waiting and watching for a reply to come up.

  
**Park Nyeongie:** You go to the gym?  
**Mark:** Rarely, if I wake up at the same time as Jackson I'll go… but he usually leaves for practise at like 6 am so… lol  
**Park Nyeongie:** Ah, I get it. He didn't have practise this morning?  
**Mark:** Not really, because fencing is kind of an individual thing unless he's got sparing practise he usually works out alone or with us or his fencing friends  
**Park Nyeongie** : us?  
**Mark:** our friend Jaebum and I (99/100 times just Jaebum lol)  
**Park Nyeongie:** That's cool. At least you don't get dragged to the gym all the time, right?  
**Mark:** yeah thank god. So wyd?  
**Park Nyeongie** : wyd?  
**Mark:** getting breakfast with Jacks, we're just in the car now, wyd?  
**Park Nyeongie:** haha no I meant what does wyd mean… but I figured it out. I'm just getting some coffee before class.

"Jackson" Mark said, hugging his phone to his chest, "he didn't know what WYD meant. He's so cute."  
Jackson took a turn off the intersection that lead to main street and said, "he's got a town worth of Instagram follower and didn't know? He sounds socially inept, but okay, cute works too." Mark gave Jackson's thigh a hard smack then put on one last song before they'd arrive. He'd timed it almost perfectly, as they rolled into a parking space near Jaebum's car 4 seconds before the song ended. The final chords of the song rang out and Mark pulled his phone from the Auxiliary cable saying, "I should be a DJ, seriously!" then undid his seatbelt. "I think DJ's do more than just time songs, but go ahead and chase your dreams buddy" Jackson said sarcastically undoing his seatbelt, just Jaebum stepped out of his car and knocked on the driver side door of Mark's car. Jackson got out and walked past Jaebum without so much as a hello. He opened the passenger side door of Jaebum's expensive jeep and began his usual pantomime of greeting Bambam. As he opened the passenger side door for Bambam, Jackson bowed nearly 90-degrees and extended his hand as Bambam stepped of the car. "Prince Kunpimook the first of Thailand, delivered by his manservant, Im Jae-." JB's eyebrows shot up, "Who are you calling a manservant?" Jackson stuck his tongue out and locked arms with Bambam who said, "I'm pretty sure he was about to say Im Jaebum but maybe he was just pronouncing 'Mark' in a weird way." Jaebum rose his hand as if to smack Bambam and Jackson stepped forward and saying "no lowly servant will raise a hand to my prince. Away with you, foul beast!" Jaebum sighed dejectedly, not possessing the strength to deal with the insane pair, and walked over to Mark. "How do you survive?" he asked as they walked across the street.

  
"I'm pretty sure last time they called me a 'Duke' so, I think I'm doing okay." Jaebum clapped Mark on the back and stifled a laugh. "Do you think I can rise to the level of Duke, one day?" Jaebum asked, glancing sideways at Jackson. Jackson smiled sweetly and put a hand below Jaebum's chin, "you'll always be a servant to me, Hyung" he said.  
Jaebum lunged a hand out for the back of Jackson's neck just as Bambam said, "guys can I grab a coffee real quick?" as he lead Jackson - who was a hairs breadth away from being murdered in a parking lot - towards Birch and away from Jaebum and Mark.

  
As they approached the coffee shop Mark was half listening to Jackson and Jaebum's remarks about how Mark hadn't been to the gym in 'a hundred years' and half daydreaming about the food he was about to eat. Then everything switched to slow motion.  
Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung, was pulling his wallet from his back pocket and talking to none other than the kind young barista from yesterday, Youngjae.

  
"Guys stop. Guys, guys stop. We can't go in there."  
Everyone turned to look at Mark, all three with their eyebrows raised, and exchanging glances with one another. Jackson who'd had his hand on the door handle let go of it immediately and turned to look inside the coffee shop. A slow grin spread across his face. Mark could barely think straight, but that didn't stop his mouth from moving, nor did it stop the string of words that spilled out next.

  
"Guys we need to leave. Bam just get coffee at the diner. You can't go in there."  
"Yeah… no thanks." Bambam said and turned towards the door. And in audible 'oh' slipped out as he saw the cause of Mark's sudden anxiety.  
"Why do we have to leave?" Jaebum asked almost as soon as Bambam started grinning along with Jackson, who had recognised the source of the dilemma immediately. "Jinyoung's in there." Bambam said, and Jaebum's expression morphed from one of slightly irritated confusion, to one mirroring Jackson and Bambam's merciless grins. "I suddenly want coffee from here too" Jaebum said, before the three of them strode into the coffee shop gleefully. Mark, in a state of near panic followed behind them, eyes cast down, praying to every and any god that Jinyoung would walk past and not notice him. His prayers never had the chance to get answered.

As Jinyoung was waiting for his coffee Jackson called out a cheerful, "hey, fancy seeing you here" loud enough to get even quiet, young Youngjae to turn around in search of the owner of the voice.  
Jinyoung looked up from his phone and stared straight at Jackson blankly, as though he were trying to remember where he'd seen the boisterous blonde before?  
"Ah, Jackson?" Jinyoung said tentatively, eliciting a nod from Jackson. One of the plants by the door suddenly became very interesting. Mark began to fiddle with it, hanging his head low to observe its waxy green leaves.

  
"Bingo! Hey" Jackson said, "did Mark come in yet?" Whether he directed the question to Bambam or JB, Mark couldn't tell. Due mainly to his newfound interest in foliage - as well as the fact he was running through the list of possible ways to get his friends away from Jinyoung while tucked in between the corner of the café and behind JB's broad shoulders. He could light the café on fire, but he had no matches. He could jump out one of the café's long, wide windows and make a run for the car, but he was pretty sure Jackson wouldn't hand the keys over easily. Not when he was about to start having so much fun.  
"Oh, Mark hyung! Morning" said a sunny voice, no doubt belonging to Youngjae. Mark made the fatal mistake of glancing up at the sound of Youngjae's adorable voice and smiled awkwardly at the young brunet.

  
"Mark?" Jinyoung said, and instinctively Mark popped his head out even further. Jinyoung's eyes met his and he stepped forward, as though a magnet were pulling him out from behind Jaebum.  
A weak "hey" was all he could muster. How could Jinyoung be meeting his friends so soon, how could both his world's - the new, magical one Jinyoung existed in, and the homely, safe world of Jaebum, Jackson and Bambam -collided so soon? Mark's worries began to dissipate as Jinyoung smiled his signature smile at him. Suddenly it was summer again. The fall chill that had begun to creep into town, pushing away the remnants of summer, disappeared. The coffee shop melted away instantly and was just the two of them. Mark was staring at Jinyoung, perfect, wonderful, angelic Jinyoung and somehow managed to say "hey" and a smile bloomed from somewhere deep inside him.  
"So, can the rest of us get an introduction, or shall we leave you guys to be the three musketeers?" Jaebum said tersely. Jackson and Jinyoung both looked at Mark, both waiting for him to take the lead. Instead, Youngjae - to-go cup in hand - was the first one to break the ice. "Well, I'm Youngjae Choi. And this is an Americano if anyone wants it." Jinyoung seemed to snap back to reality. He completed the transaction and took his drink. "I'm Jinyoung Park, um I know Mark and Youngjae because I come here a lot so…" Jaebum nodded and extended a hand to Youngjae firstly and then Jinyoung as he said "Jaebum Lim. Hey." Jaebum hated the English version of his surname, always letting out an almost undetectable sigh as he wedged the L in between the M of Jaebum and the I of Im.

  
Youngjae's eyes lit up and he began to speak to JB in Korean. "Are you the friend Mark was talking about? The restaurant chaebol?"  
Jaebum turned to look - glare - at Mark before turning back to Jinyoung and Youngjae, with a fresh glimmer in his eyes at the chance to speak Korean to new people. "I'm not a chaebol, my family just runs a couple of restaurants." Jaebum always preferred to use the term 'run' rather than 'own'. 'Run' had a more 'mom 'n' pop' feel to it. Admitting that his family owned almost 40 restaurants across the United States and 5 in Canada was a lot harder than pretending to be a down to earth, run of the mill part-time waiter at his family's little restaurant. "I'm not a chaebol either, but I guess no one asked!" Bambam chimed in in English. "Everyone calls me Bambam, nicknames are a Thai thing, don't worry too much about it."  
Jinyoung nodded - not worrying too much about it - and shook hands with Bambam. He looked over at Mark with an unreadable expression on his face. Somewhere between excitement and shock.

  
"So, we finally get to meet the famous Jinyoung." Jaebum said as he looked up at the menu.  
"Famous?" Jinyoung asked, more to Mark than to Jaebum. Mark could barely speak, let alone find a way to answer such a simple yet loaded question. How Jinyoung managed to make Mark sweat with just one word, Mark would never fathom. How could he tell Jinyoung that he talked about him to his friends, non-stop. Should he even tell him?

"Mark talks about you all the time. 'Jinyoung said this, Jinyoung did that, Jinyoung posted this.' It's all we ever hear these days." Bambam said, breaking the news on Mark's behalf as he perused the menu before he gave his order to Youngjae who was already smirking knowingly from behind the register. Mark could only imagine how many times Youngjae and Andy had watched him while he was watching Jinyoung. If anyone had the right to chastise Mark it would be those two. Jinyoung smiled a little at Mark. who was curling into his proverbial shell, making sure to add 'kill Bambam' to his to do list for later today. Jackson caught the little exchange and rolled his eyes.

Jinyoung smiled. "My friend's all say the same thing. Actually, speaking of friends, I was going to ask you this later but" he paused and looked at Jaebum, Bambam and Jackson. For some reason Mark felt like he was looking more at Jackson than the other two. A sad, queasy feeling washed over him, one he hadn't felt since high school - when a teacher had jokingly said she'd wished Joey, Mark's younger brother, had been in her class instead. It was the feeling of obvious inadequacy. "I guess since we're here now" Jinyoung continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out on Friday? All of you. My friends Wonpil and Brian are in a band with some other guys I know and they're playing this Friday, it's like an early Halloween party." Jinyoung laughed pre-emptively before saying, "They're good enough for it not to be awkward watching them play, don't worry. Honestly, they're really good. They said I could invite some people and well…" Jinyoung's eyes met Mark's and his smile changed slightly. It was almost no different than when he'd been talking to the four of them as a group. But the way it made Mark's worries melt away, made them shrink into nothing, was confirmation enough that it had been for him and only him. That smile was enough to boost Mark mood, until he heard Jinyoung's next four words. They pushed all the air out of the room.

  
"I thought of you."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung's POV of what happened at the coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little short, hopefully the fact the Mark chapter (12) is a little long will balance it out.

CHAPTER 11

 

Jinyoung

 

When Wonpil told me about his band’s gig I’d replied with the standard, ‘good luck’ and locked my phone. I had better things to do than worry about him and the other four. Things like scrolling through your Facebook, finding the Goodreads account you hadn't updated in 8 months, analysing every photo on your Instagram. I know, I know, this seems bad, but I swear, I’m doing this for us. You don’t expect me to have to read between the lines, or have petty fights with you the way other couples do. Why would I waste our time like that, why would I neglect finding out every detail about you, when I could just be whatever you want me to be. Every book you’ve read, every place you’ve been, I can read them and go there and love them all just as much as you did. I’d melt myself down and mould myself into anything you want me to be.

 

How could I not do that much for you?  When you’re already so perfect as it is. You’ve been perfect your whole life. And day by day, hour by hour, I’m learning how you got to be this way.

 

You can’t possibly know just how grateful I am that you’re one of those people that tags all their locations on Instagram and Facebook. Skiing in Aspen with one of your friends, who’s apparently loaded, and his family. Eating out near-weekly. Going to sports games. Going to clubs. Taking selfies in the library when you’re meant to be studying. Almost everything you do, you document. You flit around like a little hummingbird, but you can’t help but leave a trail. You want to be caught.  While I’m trying my hardest to blend in, to seem normal after everything that’s happened, you’re doing the opposite. You want to be noticed, you need to be seen. The way you got nervous when Jackson gave me his number after you did let me know almost everything I needed to know. Your reaction to being called ‘Jackson’s friend’. You’ve made it clear he’s always a step ahead, always in the spot light, while you sit in the shadows, silent and unnoticed.

 

But don’t worry. I see you. I want you. I see all the breadcrumbs you’ve left out while you’ve been begging to be caught. I’ll catch you. And never let you go. I promise.

 

My point gets proven as you text me that you’re getting breakfast with ‘the boys’. I hate that you love them so much. I like my friends too, but I’d be okay without them. I don't need to spend all my time with one of them nearby. I hate how bonded you all are. I hate how your whole identity is tied to each of them in different ways. I know them all already through seeing all the different pieces of you. There’s Bambam, the party boy. Jaebum, the rich one – who seemingly to tries to be modest about his lifestyle, yet drives a fucking ridiculous car. And of course, sweet little Jackson. The perpetual thorn in my side. A wolf pretending to be a puppy. I can already tell he hates me a little bit. And I hate him too, but honestly, I don't _dislike_ him. I hate him on principle, he’s too close to you. I can tell he feels the same about me. He won’t let you get hurt. He thinks you being mine, completely, would hurt you. He’s wrong of course, (you know that too, right?). I’m sure he won't be surprised to see me today. He’ll act like it, but he’ll know there’s was no way I’d ever miss a chance to see you.

 

Did you know it takes just under 10 minutes to run from my apartment to Birch if I take every shortcut possible. It’s less time, 6 minutes, if I drive and there’s light traffic. It’s little less than 5 if I cut a few red lights.  However, it’s a 3-minute-drive from the main gates of the Everett campus. Do you know how many traffic laws I broke to get here before you after I saw that text? And I couldn’t just get here a minute before you did. I had to drive, Mark, like a fucking mad-man, from my college to main street to get here when I did. Then I had to wait in my car, to catch my breath and steady my heart and craft a story in case you – or Jackson – asked why I was here. I had to figure out how to be as causal, as coincidentally present as possible, knowing you’d be walking past here with your friends.

 

My original plan was to wait at the cash register, talking to the kid who works there, until I saw you walking past. Then I’d just so happen to be leaving the coffee shop as you were heading towards that diner off the corner of main and second. But, Mark, I swear, there has to be a god. There’s got to be. When I saw you and your friends, a cheery quartet, walking towards Birch, about to fall into some kind of cosmic trap that I hadn't even realised the universe had set… ‘almost’ is too weak of a word to describe how close to tears of joy I was. I can't be that bad of a person if I’m being rewarded like this. All the shitty memories from high school. Every time the guidance counsellor wanted to ‘have a chat’, every time I had to delete messages the school had left on our answering machine. Every letter to my parents I’d burnt, every signature I’d forged. Forget it. Don’t worry. That’s all done with, I was a kid then. I’m a man now.

 

All the things I thought I’d be punished for one day seem to have been erased. Whatever god is out there must have pitied me and given me a do-over with you, because this is more than luck. Of course, I’m pushing the scales in our favour, but still, this can't all be me, can it? Some of this has to be happening because you want me too, right? Because you love me too.

 

Right?

 

When you walk into Birch you seem to notice me straight away, and it’s so, so hard not to look at you. Not to run over to you and tell you about how amazingly lucky we are to meet like this, ‘coincidentally’. I want to ask you if you believe in coincidences? I want to tell you I’d make the planets align for you. If you believed in fairy tales, Mark, I’d make magic happen, just for you. I’d stop time for you. I even think I’d kill for you. Anything, just say it and it's done.

 

But you don’t say anything, you’re looking down and away, avoid my gaze, like I’m avoiding yours, but from the corner of my eye I can see trouble brewing. Jackson ‘Mark’s friend’ Wang steps forward and calls out, “hey, fancy seeing you here!”

 

 _Here_. Does he mean at place he first met me, the place I drive past everyday – sometimes twice a day – in the hope I might see you? He’s really so shocked that I’d come back here? Hardly.

I pretend that I don’t remember him, but when I say his name he acts happy as can be, calling out a slightly sarcastic ‘bingo!’ and shooting a finger gun at me. This moment’s so awkward I almost wish he’d actually kill me. While I hate him, I also actually kind of like him too. He reminds me of Brian, or Jae. Full of jokes. But also, too smart for his – my – own good underneath it all. He asks if ‘Mark’ has come in yet and it’s weird, infuriating even, hearing your name fall out his mouth like it’s something common. Like it’s not the most splendid, most intoxicatingly perfect word in the English language. In every language.

 

I’m wondering how long to wait before I can pretend to be surprised to see you, until I hear “Mark hyung! Morning!” You’re forced to poke out your head shyly from behind you friend’s shoulder and offer a tepid greeting to Youngjae. I’m almost hurt, I wonder why you don’t want to see me. _Me_. Until it dawns on me that you’re probably more worried about me meeting your friends, right? Worried they’ll embarrass you. Worried that they won't live up to the expectations you think you’ve set for me. I already know everyone can’t be as perfect as you, don't worry about their shortcomings. I know no one could ever measure up to you. I say your name and you smile at me and say a quiet ‘hey’ I can barely respond before your broad-shouldered, rude, friend begins complaining about you, Jackson and I having a moment to ourselves.  

 

Jackson? Who the fuck asked him to join in?

 

I take a quick look at him, and he’s staring at me, his brown eyes flat and emotionless, like he sees right through this little charade I’m putting on. Like he knows I didn’t just happen to be here.

 

The six of us exchange names, and I have to act like I’m just finding out that Bambam’s the wild one, and Jaebum is the rich one. They both seem decent enough, to be fair to them. Bambam’s a kid for sure.  Both his Instagram and Facebook have his birth _day_ but not the year he was born on public. He’s probably still a teenager – I don't know why you’re hanging out with a teenager, but okay. I know someone around his age but calling him a friend would be a stretch.

 

Youngjae brings up the fact he’s heard of Jaebum and his seemingly infinite wealth as the heir to a restaurant corporation. As well-off as he is, he still tries to make it seem like a way smaller operation than it really is. I can’t help but respect him a little for not being boastful, but it’s _very_ hard to like a twenty-two-year-old that drives a hundred-thousand-dollar car.

 

While we’re talking about ‘friends’ I bring up Wonpil and his band. The four of you seem interested. Bambam chimes in with, “Wonpil Kim? He’s a senior at my college! His band is called like, Week something, right?”

 

“Day6.”

 

He nodded emphatically like that’s what he’d said. “Yeah, yeah. Day6! Guys, they’re really good! They opened at a festival that I went to over the summer!”

 

A what? Isn’t this person a child?

“I’m sorry, how did you get into that? It was 21 and over, wouldn’t you have been like…” I need to know how this kid is getting away with this, his fake ID can’t be _that_ good.

 

“Yeah I’d _just_ turned 19 in May. But I know a guy who does IDs so…”

Jaebum throws an arm over the kid and says, “that’s our Bammie. He _loves_ doing illegal shit.”

 

Well fuck, I guess we have something in common.

\---

You said you’d come and as soon as I left I texted Wonpil letting him know I’d take the tickets he’d offered, plus three extra.

 

 **Kim Wonpil:** Jireongie, we only had two extra tickets to give you. The gig is sold out.

 **Jinyoung:** Don’t call me that. How can you sell out a bar? Just add some extra stools or something.

 **Kim Wonpil:** have you ever heard of health and safety regulations, buildings have max. capacities you know…

 **Jinyoung:** then tell Dowoon, Sungjin and Jae they can’t come.

 **Kim Wonpil:** They… they’re IN the band

 **Jinyoung:** What if I helped set up? And drove you guys? I’ll pull my weight, I promise

 **Kim Wonpil:** I’ll ask. But you swear won’t bail with that Mark guy halfway through? You’ll stay at the end? AND you’ll help during the show?

 **Jinyoung:** I promise. I’ll wait tables if I have to. Just get me tickets.

 

\---

 

I spent the rest of my week going about my usual business. Going to class; going home to read – taking the longer way to drive by birch; studying, and of course thinking about you. As well as my new-found hobby, driving by your apartment. So far, it’s been pretty uneventful, but I watched you unlock your bike from across the street the other day. In that moment I suddenly understood why people enjoy bird watching. The thrill of seeing what you’ve been waiting for makes the hours of boredom completely disappear.

 

Once you turned into the park I figured you were cycling to class. So I had to cut my adventure short, I mean I could hardly drive through the park and follow you, tearing up rose bushes and hydrangeas along my way. Plus, I had to get to campus before my 11 am started. Though, on the drive to college, after seeing you, I suddenly became very interested in photography again.

 

Would you mind, Mark, if I documented all these little these moments? For posterity’s sake. You might want to look back on all of this one day. We could even show the pictures to our kids!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just listened to Day6's new song and I'm floored at how well it fits the Jackson/Jinyoung interaction in this chapter. And by how well it fits the whole fic in general, I might make a playlist for this fic, what do you guys think? ^^


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Day6 gig. The songs that are mentioned during the band's live set are:  
> I wait  
> How can I say?  
> I wish. 
> 
> Feel free to listen to them while you read the live music parts ^^  
> Also shoutout to meltedpuddle who talked to me on twitter today :) :) It made my day so much <3

CHAPTER 12

Mark

 

After a tiring week of college, in which Mark had only been able to pepper in a few texts to Jinyoung here and there, as well as leaving a comment or two under his Instagram updates; dodging Jackson’s attempts at finding out what Mark had meant on the night he’d come home crying; and several hours of playing Overwatch with his newfound gaming compatriot, Youngjae, Friday had finally come. Jaebum, as usual, had opted to drive the four of them into the city to watch Day6’s gig. Youngjae had declined Jinyoung’s offer of sourcing a ticket for him, saying he had a music exam coming up soon that he needed to work on pieces for, hinting strongly that _someone_ – Mark – was keeping him from working efficiently due to all the rounds of Overwatch he’d been playing lately.  In a rare, seemingly random, display of sincere interest in a stranger’s life, Jaebum had suggested that perhaps watching a live band might help tap into a hidden well of inspiration. However, the cheerful young barista had still declined, promising to hang out with the group next time. Through the whole exchange Jackson’s eyes seemed to scarcely stop rolling up to heaven as he muttered snippy comments to Mark in quiet Chinese ‘why’s he suddenly so _friendly_?’ ‘This is the same guy he said was cute in the group chat.’ ‘Came we just leave now?’ Among other things.

 

Jackson was now, yet again, rolling his eyes, though this time at Bambam’s music choices. Bambam had taken control of the music selection for their short drive into the city, playing some of the band’s music mixed in with some of his personal favourites. Currently a loud trap song with lyrics as repetitive as its beat was blearing through the speakers, as though an achingly sad ballad hadn’t been playing a literal minute ago.

 

“Why are you mixing in all these fucking hype-ass songs? You’re confusing the mood.” Jackson complained as Jaebum turned the car onto the freeway. “Well, we know what the setlist will be, so I’m preparing for all options.” Bambam countered as he changed the music, putting on a random Day6 song. It was a down tempo song, in Korean, about someone letting go of a person they loved but couldn’t hold on to. Bambam scrolled merrily through his phone while Jackson and Jaebum actively avoided even so much as breathing at the same time, let alone looking at each other. Once lyrics that Mark understood to mean ‘ _I’d been holding onto you for so long_ ’ sorrowfully poured out of the car’s expensive speakers Jackson groaned and said, “Oh Christ, don’t they have any songs that don’t make you want to you know… drive off a bridge? Just play their more upbeat stuff and stop mixing in random trap songs. Please.” Jackson called out from the back seat, prompting a chuckle from Mark.

 

“Yeah, you’re their biggest fan apparently, play something more upbeat, will you?” Mark said as he whipped out his phone to text Jinyoung. “I never said I was their _biggest fan_! I just said I’d seen them and they were good.” Bambam muttered, scrolling through Day6’s Soundcloud before switching to a song that began with ‘ _I blame you. I’m hating the time we spent together again. After losing you, everything is meaningless to me_ ’.  Jackson threw his head back against his head rest, slouched in his seat and said, “I’m _literally_ going to be crying in the club. Great.” Jaebum glanced at him through the rear-view mirror, casting his eyes back at the road quickly as Jackson sat up again.

 

 **Mark:** Hey! We’ll be there in like 15 minutes. Do you know the setlist? Jackson is afraid he’s going to end up crying lol

 

Within a minute of sending the text Jinyoung replied.

 

 **Park Nyeongie:** Wonpil won’t tell me, but you should listen to these while you’re driving, they’re a little less depressing. They’ll probably be on the setlist too

 

Jinyoung sent a few song titles and Mark leant forwards to show Bambam the text. “He said to play these.” Mark said as Bambam grabbed the older boy’s phone. “Ugh, boring,” he said as he queued up the suggested songs before hitting play. “The songs?” Mark asked as he took his phone back. “No, your texts. I thought I’d see more exciting things than ‘how was class lol’” Bambam said before the car was filled with a quick count to three in Korean. The lyrics ‘I wanna party tonight, I’m going hard’ blasted from the speakers. As thought someone had put fresh batteries in him, Jackson whirred back to life.

 

“Thank! God!” He exclaimed as he sat up and reached out to turn up the volume. “Maybe if they play songs like this you’ll have some more _interesting_ things to talk to Jinyoung about.”

Bambam clapped his hands together as he laughed before saying, “oh my god, what did we call used to call Mark hyung?” Mark groaned at the memory. It seemed his friends would never let go of his penchant for giving and getting hickeys. Every time they caught him hooking up with a guy at a party, the next day they’d refer to him solely as the nickname,

 

“Baby vampire!” Jackson and Jaebum shouted out in unison as they remembered the irritating diminutive.

 

“Hopefully he’ll get some ‘baby vampire’ action tonight. Fingers crossed.” Jackson said as he smacked his best friend’s thigh. “Leave it to me,” Bambam said, casting a cunning smirk back at Mark through the rear-view mirror.   

 

\---

 

The building they pulled up seemed to fit the acoustic songs they’d listened to in the car, but not much else of Day6’s repertoire seemed to line up with what they four boys saw. The outside of the building was a modest brick façade that blended in perfectly with most of the other buildings in the trendy downtown neighbourhood the boys had arrived at.  The building itself seemed to be a bookstore-café combo. One of the windows of the now closed store had several posters pasted inside.  The posters read ‘Day6 – Downstairs. The Cellar.’ with arrows that pointed right to the side of the building. The group followed the signs and found, attached to the side of the building, a door with a wooden sign above it with the words ‘The Cellar’ branded into it. In front of the door sat a handsome well-built guy, perhaps three – maybe five – years older than them. He was sitting on a stool, scrolling through his phone. Seeing the older boy, with his head held down looking at the LCD screen of his phone, prompted Mark to pull out his phone again, to let Jinyoung know they’d arrived. Upon noticing the four younger boys approaching him the young man locked his phone and put it in his pocket as he sat up and crossed his strong arms over his broad chest. Mark couldn’t help but think he’d be good friends with Jackson and Jaebum, if only in a ‘gym-buddy’ capacity.

 

“Day6?” he asked them, to which they all nodded. “Tickets?” he said, and the three other boys all took a sidelong look at Mark who was standing silently staring at the older man. Jinyoung had told Mark they wouldn’t need tickets, saying he’d talk to Wonpil and get them on the guest list.

 

“His,” Bambam took a brief pause, not knowing whether to refer to Jinyoung as Mark’s boyfriend or not. “Well, he knows someone who like, _knows_ the band so…” Bambam said eventually, to which the older boy laughed. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his ticket, waved it at Bambam and said, “yeah, well I babysat Dowoon ‘til he was 12. So, unless someone _in_ the band comes up here and tells me they _know_ _you_ ” he said mocking Bambam’s condescending tone, “then you can’t get in.” The older boy looked at Bambam, then at the older three before saying, “also, you don’t look twenty-one. I’ll need to see some ID. From all four of you”

 

Jaebum and Jackson groaned and began opening their wallets. Before Mark had a chance to speak up for himself, and explain that Jinyoung had said he’d get the four of them on the guest list, the door behind the older boy opened up. Jinyoung, and two other guys that Mark recognised as Brian and Wonpil, were now standing in the threshold of the club.

 

“Taecyeon hyung, it’s fine. They’re on the guest list” Brian said to the older boy. Taecyeon pulled out his phone to verify before saying, “Mark Tuan?”, to which Mark raised a hand and replied “present!” Taecyeon and the others all laughed, lifting the mood significantly. “So, you must be his plus… _threes_?” he asked, to which Bambam, Jackson and Jaebum all nodded.

 

Taecyeon waved to the door, signalling for the boys to go in before pointing at Bambam. “You”, he said curtly, “are definitely _not_ twenty-one. This is a club, so I’m going to need to see some ID.”

“I—” Bambam began, before Jinyoung cut him off. “Ah, give him a break, hyung”, Jinyoung said coolly, “the place hasn’t even opened yet.” Taecyeon rolled his eyes and waved all four of the boys through. As they walked Bambam raised his eyebrows at Mark before mouthing ‘hot!’ while pointing to Jinyoung’s back as they followed the other boys through the door. Normally, Mark would’ve reached out and smacked Bambam, but damn, he was right. Not only was watching Jinyoung stick up for the younger boy endearing as hell, but tonight Jinyoung looked _really_ good. He was wearing a similar pair of well-fitting ripped jeans to the ones he’d worn the day Mark had run into him at Briar. Though, today’s pair were a washed-out black, paired with a white tee-shirt with slightly rolled up sleeves.  Mark was hit twice as hard by how good Jinyoung’s ass looked, and also by what nice arms he had. Through some sort of best friend telepathy, Jackson turned around and said, “damn, what a peach…” Before Mark could even think to respond, Wonpil, not understand the – tasteless – inside joke replied,

 

“Yeah… sorry about him, he’s just grumpy he has to wait out there until the place officially opens, and the real bouncer gets here, at 9.” Wonpil said as Brian led the group down a flight of wrought iron stairs.

 

Mark checked his phone, 8.42pm. He was glad they’d followed Jinyoung’s advice and gotten here a little early. He knew Bambam had a fake ID, more than one actually, but it was better not to risk it. “I’m Wonpil by the way, and the other grumpy one is Brian.” Brian waved as he turned and smiled brightly, as though to refute Wonpil’s comment, before saying, “the rest of the band is in the green room.”

 

“Why does Mr. Congeniality have to wait outside, couldn’t someone more cheerful do it?” Jackson asked as they group neared the bottom on the stairs.  “The owner gave us the keys, so we could get here early and set up, on the condition we have someone watch the place until it technically opens, and Taecyeon hyung is the most ‘bouncer-ish’ person we know.” Brian said. Mark had to agree. Putting aside his handsome face and the glimpses of the possibly bright personality Mark had seen in Taecyeon’s interactions with his younger friends, the older boy seemed formidable as anything.

 

At the bottom of the stairs they walked through a dimly lit corridor that led to a spacious venue with a cool laid-back vibe. It didn’t have the type of simulated ‘hipster’ feel that most places like it in the city had. The floor space in front of the stage was huge, two hundred or more people could easily stand and listen to the music. Closer to the bar there were tables and chairs dotted around, followed by a row of stools that wrapped around the long, well stocked bar. The lighting was low and golden, supplied mainly by the rows and rows of warm incandescent bulbs screwed behind the bar to form a huge aureate square.

 

“Nice” Jaebum said quietly, mostly to himself, as they walked through the club towards another corridor, through which they found a door with a printed sign that read: ‘Day6. MEMBERS ONLY’ stuck to it. Brian opened a door and inside three guys in their early twenties were already sitting and laughing as two of them tuned their guitars, and the third told the punchline of a joke that had the room filling with peals laughter. A skinny, teary-eyed, young man waved at the group as his laughter died down before saying, “yo, I’m Jae. That’s Sungjin and Dowoon” he said pointing at the other guitarist and the baby-faced guy that had told the joke. Brian moved across the room to lean against a table laden with two coolers full of beers in bottles and cans and said, “that’s Mark, the one Jinyoung invited, and his friends.”

 

Mark felt a little bubble of pride begin to rise up in his chest upon hearing the other three boys being referred to as ‘his friends.’ In the eyes of this group of people, who at the moment didn’t know any better, Mark was the leader. They didn’t know that Jackson was the funny one, or that Jaebum was the bossy one, and Bambam was the one who was most used to being on things like ‘guest lists’ and in ‘green rooms’. Mark had already decided that he wasn’t going to be a secondary character tonight. In line with his new resolution he said, “hey, I’m Mark. This is Bambam, JB and Jackson.” The other three looked at Mark for the second time that night, this time in slight shock at their best friend’s forwardness, before breaking out into a chorus of ‘hey’ and ‘hi’ as they shook hands with the other three members of Day6.

 

“Guys, make yourself comfortable, the show doesn’t start until like 9:30” Jae said, waving at the other couch. “Yeah, grab a seat. 9:30 means 10pm to Jae, so I’d sit down” Dowoon said, dodging a kick from Jae. Jackson, Bambam looked at each other with a grin before they sat down on a couch, they already felt at home watching Jae and Dowoon’s friendly dynamics at play. Jaebum opted to sit on a stool between where the instruments were being tuned and where his friends had sat down, already ready to act as a bridge between the two groups, even though the only mutual friend the eight boys had was Mark. There was room enough for four on the couch that Jackson and Bambam had sat on, and Mark moved to join them, hoping silently that Jinyoung would follow him. As Mark sat down beside Jackson, Jinyoung watched him from where he had been leaning against the arm of the couch being occupied by three out of five of the Day6 members. Before Jinyoung could move from where he was, Brian crossed the room quickly and sat down beside Mark.

 

“Does anyone want a drink?” he asked, looking to his right at Jackson, Bambam and Mark as he opened his can of beer.

 

Before Mark could decline, Bambam and Jackson erupted in a loud united ‘yes!’ drawing another laugh from Jae, Sungjin and Dowoon. Mark nodded ‘yes’ and Brian looked to Jinyoung, whose expression had barely shifted at all, and said “ _Jireongie_ , will you pass some drinks over here?”

 

“Sure, hyung.” Jinyoung said flatly as he pushed himself up off the arm of the couch and uncrossed his arms in one fluid motion. He strode calmly to the to the cooler that Brian had been at moments ago and lifted up the lid, letting it hit the table with a pronounced _bang_.

 

“Oh, he’s pissed, he’s _pissed_ ” Jae said in Korean as the band laughed. Jinyoung turned to Jae, smiling sweetly before replying, “why would I be mad to do a favour for Younghyun hyung?”

“Wonpil was right, I guess our Jinyoungie is trying to be a good boy, isn’t he?” Sungjin replied in Korean again before saying, “ _Jireongie_ pass hyung a drink too.” Jinyoung looked over his shoulder sharply before replying, “got it” in Korean. Looking over at Jaebum with a sly smile Jinyoung asked, “hyung, do you want a drink too?”

 

Hearing Jinyoung refer to Jaebum as ‘hyung’ prompted the band members to look over at him before Jae said, “wait, ‘hyung’? You’re Korean?” Jaebum nodded. “Yeah, JB stands for Jaebum,” he said in English before switching to his mother-tongue, “Im Jaebum, nice to meet you.”

 

“Fuck, now we can’t talk about your friends anymore, unless of course you don’t tell them…” Brian said with a chuckle. “Damn, I’ve got bad news for you…” Jackson replied in Korean, earning a huge laugh from the group.

 

\---

 

The nine young men talked and laughed, getting to know each other over the next half an hour. Halfway through a story about Wonpil’s keyboard dropping during a gig and Brian not noticing, Taecyeon joined them and suggested they play a game. They spent the next thirty minutes playing drinking games that Jinyoung, Jaebum and Taecyeon – the designated drivers of the evening – soberly refereed. During a particularly intense second round of ‘Mafia’, wherein Dowoon was close to tears, screaming “I swear I’m a citizen, please, you can’t kill me. I’m a citizen!” – as though his real life depended on it – a knock came at the door, prompting Brian to check his phone.

“Oh shit, it’s five to ten,” he said as he went to open the door. Behind it stood a young boy, perhaps younger than Bambam, with his arms crossed, holding a tray against his chest. He was wearing a white dress shirt tucked into tight fitting black jeans, with two clean rips in the knees.

 

“Umm, can the band come out, please? There’s, like, a bunch of people asking us where ‘Day6’ is and well…  I’ve been saying ‘they’re about to come on’ for almost a half an hour. I can’t keep covering for you guys.” He looked into the green room from behind Brian’s shoulder. “I know my aunt said you guys can have free drinks tonight, but umm…” he paused as his eyes roved across the faces of the eight boys inside. He stopped at Bambam’s and seemed to blush a little before continuing, this time in Korean, thinking the four interlopers wouldn’t understand. “I think that only applies to the hyungs in the _actual_ band, and maybe Taecyeon hyung. And also, for people… over twenty-one. Once they leave the green room, they’ll have to pay for their drinks at the bar.”

 

Dowoon jumped up, tipsily knocking his drumsticks off the vanity table in the process and said in Korean, “Ah, it’s okay. They’re our… understudies! They can drink on our behalf while we play.” Bambam and Jackson jumped up, interlocking their hands with Dowoon’s and began chanting “It’s! Oh! Kay! Its! Oh! Kay!” in Korean, as they jumped up and down in a circle, holding their connected fists in the air. The young bartender rolled his eyes and sighed before walking away from the green room. He already knew he wouldn’t be charging any of the ten boys for drinks tonight, despite his efforts at being both professional and subtle. Taecyeon, as the resident _real_ adult, stood up and said, “how about we continue cheering while the boys are playing… before their fans come in here and start asking for their money back.”

 

Dowoon, the perpetually poor college student, separated himself from Bambam and Jackson to bent down to pick up his drumsticks upon hearing he might lose out on some much-needed cash. As he searched for his second drumstick, Brian turned to Jinyoung with an artful grin on his face. “Jinyoung-ah, do you want to cover the DJ-ing or sing Wonpil’s part? Did Wonpil explain how the drum machine works?”, both Mark and Jinyoung snapped their heads up at the idea that Park Jinyoung would be _on_ stage tonight. Mark tried to hide his giddy grin, as Jinyoung tried to temper his shock before it gave way to anger. “Sorry hyung, what?” Jinyoung said calmly as the guitarists grabbed their instruments and Wonpil passed Brian his bass. “Jinyoung-ah, you promised you’d help out, remember?” Wonpil asked as he began his looking through his phone before turning it to face Jinyoung, showing him the texts he had sent earlier in the week.

 

“Yeah… and I _did_ help,” Jinyoung said as he ran a hand through his hair, “I drove, I helped Dowoon set up his drums, and I helped you set up all your technical stuff too. It makes no sense for me to be on stage.”

“Actually,” Wonpil said quietly, “you have done a lot but… it would be really handy if you just helped out with like 5 songs, normally I’d do all the sampling and stuff beforehand, but since we’re kind of running late…”

 

“Plus, you know all the lyrics to most of our songs, right Jinyoung-ah” Brian said, chiming in with the same cunning grin he’d had earlier. Jinyoung shook his head ‘no’, even though there was no way he didn’t know all the lyrics to almost every Day6 song. He’d been hearing some of those songs for over 4 years at this stage. “Jinyoungie, you can do it. Would you cover for Wonpil while he does the technical stuff for a couple of songs?” Brian continued as Taecyeon let a low chuckle out from where he was now sitting on a couch. He knew that Wonpil would have no problem singing and working the drum machine or playing the keyboard, or all three at once. Jinyoung knew it too. In fact, for most of the songs there were pre-recorded backing beats so the boys could focus on giving the best live performance they could.

 

“Jinyoungie, you’re a good singer.” Brian said loudly, earning an interested look from Mark, Jackson and Bambam. Jaebum was still chatting away to Taecyeon, though really, he wanted to know how this would all play out. Seeing the interested glint in Mark’s eyes Jinyoung sighed and asked, “how many songs?”

“Five” Brian said loudly.

“Three” Wonpil said semi-truthfully.

 

Jinyoung looked between the two of them. If looks could kill, he’d be stuck singing two people’s parts rather than just one. “Four,” he said with an air of unmovable finality, “so, which four am I doing?” Sungjin and Dowoon laughed out loud as Wonpil and Brian let out a cheer. Wonpil let Brian cover the explanation and left to placate the crowd a little bit. The loud cheer that erupted from the main area of the club after Wonpil left, prompted Mark, Jackson, Bambam and even Jaebum, to stand up to crane their heads out of the green room. Upon hearing the surprisingly big crowd, they began making their ways towards the main area. As they walked out towards the club Jackson tugged on Bambam’s shirt sleeve and said, “hey, by the way…what was up with the bartender? Why did he turn all pink after he saw you?”

 

Bambam pulled Jackson closer and said, “remember the guy I was talking about, the one that’s always around the girl I know that goes to,” he looked over his shoulder to make sure Jinyoung was out of earshot before whispering, “Everett. The girl that gave us info on Jinyoung?” Jackson gave a quick ‘uh-huh’ and Bambam continued, “well that’s him. It turns out he’s her _cousin_ , not her boyfriend, and I think my gaydar was, _once_ _again_ , spot on. He likes me, right?” Jackson let out a laugh before throwing his arm over Bambam’s thin shoulders. “And to think we called you a narcissist. Tonight just keeps getting better and better,” he said as they stepped out of the corridor. As they exited the corridor they were met with a wall of people. There were easily two hundred, maybe two hundred and fifty, people in the main area of the club and lining a wrap-around balcony the boys hadn’t noticed when they’d first come in there were probably another hundred or so more.

 

The four boys made their way through the crowd, towards the fully packed bar. Just as they managed to wedge themselves by the bar. Wonpil, who had been giving the crowd a completely made-up reason as to why Jinyoung would be filling in for him, began an impromptu DJ set. It had become apparent that Brian wouldn’t be done running through the set list with Jinyoung anytime soon. As Wonpil began played remixes of the bands songs an exodus of patrons wanting to stand closer to the action occurred, leaving the boys almost alone at the now near-empty bar. Faced with practically just Bambam and his friends, the young bartender busied himself by wiping glasses and passing things to the older girl working beside him. Bambam kept his back to him watching Wonpil DJ, feigning an aura of total disinterest in the cute bartender. Looking between the two teenagers the older three began laughing at how obvious it was that the kid liked Bambam. Though whether Bambam sincerely liked the kid back or was just happy to have yet another admirer was unclear.

 

“Garcon!” Jackson said as he knocked on the surface of the bar lightly. “Three of your finest – what are we drinking tonight, boys?”

“Vodka-redbull! And make it a double,” Bambam called out as he spun around on his stool, earning a grimace from Mark. “Yikes, I guess tonight’s theme is ‘cardiac arrest.’ Okay then, three Vodka-redbulls please,” Jackson said to the bartender, who’s gaze was fixed solely on Bambam. Whether it due to his poorly hidden crush or out of the need to guestimate how old he was, the trio couldn’t tell, and Bambam didn’t care.

“I’d honestly rather have a whiskey soda, or something,” Mark muttered as he watched the young bartender measure out the vodka for the drinks, “I’m over ‘frat boy’ drinks.”

“But you still _love_ frat boys though,” Jackson said with a cheeky smirk, before receiving a sharp elbow to the ribs. Jackson laughed and said, “well I guess we have no choice. Garcon, I’ll need three whiskey sodas then. Oh, and your name too. I feel like you’re not getting the whole _French thing_ I’m trying to do right now.”

 

The kid rolled his eyes. “It’s Yugyeom.” He said before pointing at the drinks he’d already poured. “And I feel like _you’re_ not getting how ordering drinks works. Can tell me what I’m meant to do with these now, huh?” he asked, not sparing the boys any impoliteness, before reaching out for some whiskey. Jackson put out his hand, “oh, top shelf stuff only please. We’re _friends of the band_ ,” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows at the bartender. “And we’ll have all six of them, _Yugyeom-ah._ ”

 

Yugyeom looked up at the expensive liquor at the top of the rows of shelves, then back at the four older boys – if the slightly bored designated driver counted – and shook his head. “Yeah, no. You’ll get what you’re given, _hyung_ ,” He said, sparing Jackson none of his now apparent trademark cheekiness. Jackson and Mark let out a chorus of childish ‘oohs’ as Yugyeom poured the drinks and Bambam hid his face behind the screen of his phone, trying to shield himself from second-hand embarrassment as his friends interacted with the cute bartender. “I can see why he likes you,” Jaebum said nonchalantly, “he’s a little brat too.” “Ah hyung,” Bambam said as he stepped off of his stool and wedged himself between Jackson and Jaebum, throwing his arms over the two of them, “don’t be grumpy just because you can’t drink much tonight” he said with a brazen little laugh. Jaebum rolled his shoulders, in an attempt at brushing off the lanky teenager clinging to him. “I _can_ drink as much as I want tonight, that is if I feel like killing us all.” Jaebum said staring dead into Bambam’s eyes. His voice betrayed no hint of humour, yet the bartender burst out into peals of giddy laughter at Jaebum’s deadpan joke. “I like this hyung” Yugyeom said as he passed the six drinks to the Jackson, Mark and Bambam. He looked over at Jaebum and asked him if he’d like anything. Jaebum ordered a drink for himself and a glass of ice water before turning his attention back to his phone.

 

As Jaebum nursed on a bottle of imported beer, while the other three sipped their sugar-laden drinks a huge cheer broke out as the remaining four members of Day6 – now featuring Jinyoung – came onto the stage. Jackson, Mark and Bambam seemed to be supplying 50% of the cheering, revealing how buzzed they were already on the drinks they’d had backstage with the band. Jaebum shook his head at them and smiled slightly to himself. This would be an evening for the books. 

 

Jae took to one of the microphones and said “hey, what’s up, We’re Day6!” The band’s name was met with a cheer and he clapped his hands above his head, cheering along with them before saying, “and we’re here to play some music for you guys, because Coldplay couldn’t make it!” The crowd on the floor and up above on the balcony broke out into a round of laughter and cheers. Jackson and Bambam laughed and cheered too, clapping their hands above their heads – earning a set of finger guns from their new best friend, Dowoon. As Jae hyped up the crowd, Jinyoung began setting the microphone stand to his height. He took a few sips of water and cleared his throat a little before turning to whisper something to Dowoon. Dowoon nodded and threw his head back with a huge laugh that carried out all the way to the audience, through his microphone. Jinyoung shook his head with a light laugh and turned back to face the crowd. Mark wanted to nothing more than to know what Jinyoung had said that had made Dowoon laugh so hard. As he wracked his brain for ideas on how to get closer to Jinyoung he felt Jackson’s hand on his knee, letting him know that his jealousy was obvious. “They’re like brothers, relax,” Jackson mumbled to Mark as he tapped the rims of their glasses together before letting out a jovial “bottoms up!” Mark gulped down half the vodka-redbull in two long drinks earning a pat on the back from Bambam, who had returned to his spot beside Mark. “That’s the spirit” Bambam said, fully leaning into his role as the little demon on Mark’s shoulder. Mark looked to his other side and sighed as he watched Jackson whisper something to Jaebum, whose hand had found itself firmly on the small of Jackson’s back. It seemed as though his proverbial angels had hung up their wings in favour of what Jackson would later swear wasn’t flirting. Mark was left without anyone to balance him out and quickly succumbed to Bambam’s wicked will, finishing his drink and taking the second round from an all too eager Bambam.

 

“You’re trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?” Mark said before taking a small sip of his drink. “Me? Never!” Bambam said incredulously, though the corners of his full lips were curled up in a smirk that gave the impression that Mark was right on the money. “I’m just trying to get you to have a little fun.” Mark shook his head and took a sidelong glance at the glass of water sitting in front of Jaebum. He really should get one for himself, he thought as Bambam leaned closer. “Your idea of fun scares me,” Mark said laughing a little to hide the candidness of this words. “No,” Bambam countered, tipping the bottom of Mark’s glass up a little, encouraging the older boy to quicken his pace, “you’re just afraid of having a good time.” ‘A good time’ Mark thought to himself, maybe Bambam was right. Perhaps letting go a little would be good for him. He clinked his glass against Bambam’s and said, “to a good time.”

“To a fucking good time,” Bambam echoed and the pair took a gulp of their drinks just as Brian grabbed his mic and said, “this one goes out to Jackson Wang, please don’t ‘cry in the club’ tonight. At least not until the really sad stuff comes on.” Another chuckle rose up from the crowd as the band began playing the intro to one of the songs that the boys had listened to in the car.

 

As Mark sipped his drink, listening to the music, he found himself a little shocked at what a lovely voice Jae had. He sounded a little different singing in Korean, different compared to when he was speaking it, or even speaking English. His voice sound richer and deeper. Hearing him sing like this made Mark nervous for what was to come. As the instruments rang out the words _‘Just tell me you’re not interested_ ’ sung achingly beautifully in Korean cut through audience. Whether it was due to how quickly the alcohol and caffeine combination had hit him, or if it was caused by the sound he’d just heard Mark was unsure, but suddenly his heart began racing. He felt like the lyrics were directed right at him. Watching, hearing, _feeling_ , Jinyoung deliver such beautifully blunt lyrics left him breathless. As the crowd sang along Jackson and Bambam began singing along with them, belting out the sub-lines with the almost 400 people around them. Yet when Jinyoung sang out ‘ _I’m tied to you’_ the room emptied. It was just the two of them and Jinyoung was singing only to him.

 

Jinyoung’s voice poured out like honey. His voice was neither deep or high yet was somehow both at once. Every note, every bar, every lyric, was delivered straight to Mark. Jinyoung’s voice poured into Mark’s ears and flowed down to the nape of his neck, making the hairs stand on end. It travelled down his spine and gave him goosebumps.

‘ _Either untie me or pull me closer’_

The more Mark drank, the more he wanted nothing more than to  get as close to Jinyoung as possible. As the guitar riff continued and spilled over into a fast drum solo, people began to mix around. Some coming to the bar to get refills on drinks, while others began dancing by the stage. Jackson pulled Bambam up and the pair went right into the thick of it all, leaving Mark alone with Jaebum as he watched Jinyoung in drunken amazement.

 

The next song the band played was one with sad lyrics, but the beat kept the audience energised as perfect Jinyoung and his perfect voice sang out to the crowd. The song was about falling out of love. About losing the butterflies and giddiness that  had come with starting a new relationship. And Mark should’ve felt nervous; the song should’ve made him painfully aware that love isn’t always like this. But how could he have felt anything but awe, and lust, and wonder while watching the most perfect boy he’d ever seen sing. The song’s lyrics were warning him not to smile, not to look at Jinyoung so warmly. But all Mark could do was fall deeper.

 

The music was great, Jinyoung’s voice was amazing. But Mark was counting down the minutes until Jinyoung got off stage and Wonpil went back behind the microphone. He’s sat, sipping on his third drink, calculating how long it would be until he could be close to Jinyoung again. As the second song surged into another, the crowd danced and spun as Jinyoung, Jae, Sungjin and Brian sang about wishing they could make a crush obvious. With every lyric Mark could swear that Jinyoung was _only_ looking at him. Wonpil began tapping out a beat on the drum machine as Jinyoung sang his parts for him.

 

Finally, Jinyoung’s final song came. Somewhere during the third song Mark had finished his whiskey soda and ordered yet another, much to Jaebum’s irritation. He vaguely remembered the younger boy mumbling, “you should drink some water. Or I’ll be surrounded by toddlers by the end of the night” seconds before a pretty brunette slid into the seat beside him and his attention went from Mark’s alcohol consumption to her.

 

As the first set finished Jinyoung stepped away from the microphone, saying a quick thanks to the crowd which was met with cheers and praises for his voice. Jackson and Bambam started chanting his name as he got off the stage, and Jinyoung gave them his signature crinkly-eyed smile. Sungjin began talking to the crowd, giving some commentary on the songs to come and the ones they’d just played as Jinyoung began walking over to Mark.  Mark stood and the four stiff drinks, plus the couple of beers he’d had in the green room suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. As he stood all the oxygen and blood left his brain, replaced with alcohol, and he realised he was way drunker than he’d thought he was mere seconds ago. He grabbed Jaebum’s arm – one of the four he seemed to suddenly have – and muttered, “I’m—I need to get some air, okay?” Which came out a lot more like ‘Inna ‘et s-some air, mmkay?’ Jaebum huffed out a tired sigh before grabbing Mark’s forearm and sitting him back down just as Jinyoung arrived.

 

Mark looked down at the floor as Jinyoung walked up to him and said, “hey.” Mark nodded a greeting, not trusting himself to speak after Jaebum’s reaction to his last attempt. Jinyoung put an arm up against the bar, caging Mark in, as he leant close to the older boy and asked, “are you okay?” Mark looked over at Jaebum, who had his back turned to him – talking to the brunette – Mark nodded. He cast his eyes around the crowd, looking for Jackson before Jackson saw Jaebum flirting with the pretty brunette beside them. Jackson was dancing with Bambam and a few other people. Mark decided Jackson would be fine whether he saw Jaebum talking to the girl or not. Jackson himself looked like he was a few songs away from having the arms of the tall guy – who had near matching platinum blonde hair with streaks of sea-blue running through it – wrapped around him. Mark looked up at Jinyoung who was still waiting for an answer. He could barely speak once he saw him. Jinyoung, who was ridiculously close. Jinyoung, who smelt ridiculously good. Jinyoung, whose lips were inches away from Mark’s.

 

“Air.” Was all Mark managed to get out before Jinyoung was moving past him to talk to Yugyeom. They were almost chest to chest as Jinyoung leant past Mark to ask for some water. How long had Mark been staring? How obviously drunk was he? He answered his own rhetorical questions as an idea suddenly popped into his foggy brain. It would take nothing for him to lean closer and press his lips against the length of Jinyoung’s neck. He watched the smooth column of Jinyoung’s neck as the younger boy talked to Yugyeom, had to fight back the sudden urge to run his tongue across the veins and tendons of Jinyoung’s neck, lest he live up to Jackson and Bambam’s annoying nickname for him. Deciding not to become the drunken ‘baby vampire’ he was notorious for being he settled for inching closer to take a deep breath of Jinyoung’s cologne. “You smell so good” he whispered as Jinyoung’s handsome face came back into view. Jinyoung looked down at Mark, arm still locking the older boy in, keeping him close by. “You look _really_ fucking good too,” Mark said as Jinyoung smiled and pushed off from the bar. “You’re _really_ drunk.” Jinyoung said as he extended an arm for Mark to hold onto, “the smartest thing you’ve said so fair was ‘air’, so let’s go find some of that.” Jinyoung whispered teasingly as Mark stood and leant against the steady plane of Jinyoung’s chest. The band had begun easing away from their more rock orientated music to slower, sadder, acoustic songs. Couples had already stopped jumping around and hand steadily gotten closer and closer, swaying in time to the melancholy music.

 

“I want to dance with you, like them, like… slow dancing,” Mark muttered into Jinyoung’s chest. He could feel the vibration of Jinyoung’s laughter pulse through him as Jinyoung laid a hand to rest against the small of Mark’s back. “Okay,” Jinyoung said, “I’ll dance with you if you drink some water.” He passed Mark a cold bottle of water and Mark took it with a nod. “Okay. Air,” he said again and Jinyoung nodded and took him by the hand. Jinyoung led Mark through the crowd and into the corridor they’d stepped through to get to the green room. He led him through another door and they were suddenly in a small, cool, service corridor.

 

Jinyoung opened a little closet and pulled out a stool for Mark and sat him down. He eyed a set of crates and climbed up on them to open the windows, letting in a blast of cool night air. “I wa-wanna go _outside,_ ” Mark said once the breeze from the crisp autumn night hit him, letting him know what he was missing.  Jinyoung shook his head, pointing to a precarious looking set of metal stairs. “We’d have to climb up those stairs to get outside” he said, “and… I don’t trust you with heights right now, Mark.” The younger boy said sardonically as he reached a hand out to open the bottle Mark was pressing to his face. Mark waved Jinyoung’s hand away and began rolling the chilled bottle down his neck and back up again, while Jinyoung’s eyes followed the path the resulting condensation took until it disappeared down the collar of Mark’s shirt. “I’m really hot, Jinyoungie” Mark muttered, tipping his head back against the cold brick wall as he held the bottle out for Jinyoung to open. “Yeah… you are.” Jinyoung said lowly as he twisted the cap off the bottle with a loud snap and passed the two, now separated, back to Mark. Mark took the bottle with a low laugh, “I meant I’m _warm,_ not… not _hot_ ,” he said before taking a long drink of his water. Jinyoung watched as Mark pressed the bottle to his lips and began drinking the icy water slowly, almost too slowly to not be intentional. Mark put the bottle down and twisted the cap back on before letting it rest in his hands.

 

“Hey, give me some of that,” Jinyoung said as he tried to look anywhere but at the water bottle, which Mark was now holding in both his hands between his long legs. “Ew, no way,” Mark said giggling drunkenly, “that’s like…  like an indirect kiss, or something. I’ll go get you your own water.” He said as he stood up, far too quickly, and stumbled forwards slightly. Jinyoung reached out and grabbed him by his arms, propping him up to stand by himself. He stood quietly with the bottle behind his back as he looked up into Jinyoung’s deep brown eyes. He felt drunker now than he had moments ago as he looked at Jinyoung.

 

It was like he was swimming, kicking down deeper and deeper until the water got dark, until his lung burned for air. Everything was moving too slowly, the water was turning to syrup as he tried to paddle back up to safety, as he tried to look away from Jinyoung’s attentive eyes.

 

“An indirect kiss?” Jinyoung asked, still holding onto Mark’s arms, “what’s that?” he continued as he wrapped his arms around Mark. “It’s like this,” Mark said coyly, heart pounding, as he began moving towards where he wanted – needed – to be.  He smiled to himself before he pressed his lips lightly against Jinyoung’s, “but unintentional.”

 

Jinyoung pulled the older boy closer, dropping one arm to the small of Mark’s back and leaving the other around his waist. Jinyoung looked down at Mark, who was looking up at him through his impossibly long lashes. Mark craned his head upwards until he and Jinyoung’s lips were barely a hair’s breadth apart. In one swift motion Jinyoung pushed Mark up against the cool bricks of the wall, one arm taken off the older boy’s waist to cushion the fall. For the second time that night Mark was penned in by Jinyoung’s body. And for the second time that night Mark needed Jinyoung to be much closer than he was. Mark dropped the water bottle on the stool he’d been sitting on and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s neck. For a second, they both stood frozen, barely breathing. Both just waiting. Wanting, and watching one another.  “What do you want?” Jinyoung asked, brushing his lips lightly against Mark’s as he spoke. Wrapping his arms tighter around the younger boy Mark said, “this. You.”

 

Like gasoline being ignited they began kissing. They kissed like they were made singularly for this purpose, melting into the heat of each other as the world fell away. The air in Mark’s lungs became a moan as Jinyoung’s tongue ran across his bottom lip. His mouth parted open in a silent demand for more. He ran his fingers through Jinyoung’s hair, holding fistfuls of the soft dark strands between his fingers as he moaned into Jinyoung’s mouth, pushing off from the wall, pressing their bodies closer together, begging for more. Jinyoung broke them apart for a second as he pulled the stool closer, knocking the bottle off, to sit on it before dragging an eager Mark into his lap. Once Mark was in the younger boy’s lap being so close to what he wanted made him bolder, needier, and he rolled his hips down, rocking slowly against Jinyoung’s thighs; letting his blood run south as all self-control left him. Jinyoung let out a low “fuck”, tipping his head back in ecstasy as Mark pulled his hair, drawing his head back to begin sucking a bruise into the skin of Jinyoung’s throat. “I want you to fuck me” Mark whispered, running his tongue along the shell of Jinyoung’s ear, eliciting a shiver, before Mark began palming Jinyoung over his jeans. “God, I want to, I want to so bad” Jinyoung managed to get out before falling back under the spell Mark’s lips had put him under. Jinyoung reached his hand back, cupping the curve of Mark’s ass, as Mark began tugging at the waistband of Jinyoung’s jeans. The top bottom was undone, and the fly being pulled down before Jinyoung can find it in himself to pull Mark’s hand away and break off their kiss.

 

“Mark, wait stop—stop.” Jinyoung said breathlessly as his hands found Mark’s hips and began to push Mark up to stand. Jinyoung folding his arm’s behind his back and hung his head down before saying, “Mark, you’re drunk, I can’t. That’s—that’s not right. Now’s not the right time.” Now standing up, Jinyoung began to redo his jeans. “You don’t want to. Okay,” Mark pouted, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at the ground. Jinyoung ran his hands through his hair as he shook his head ‘no’. “Mark, no, no. I _really_ want to. I want you so much, I think I’ll go crazy of I don’t touch you right now.”

 

“Then touch me,” Mark said as he stepped forward and reached out for Jinyoung’s hand. Jinyoung took it and held it up to his lips, pressing a light kiss against Mark’s palm. “I want to. I want _you._ And I know I’ll feel the same tomorrow. And the day after that, and every day until forever. I know I’ll feel like this tomorrow. But I don’t if you will. Because you’re not yourself right now,” Jinyoung said as he looked into Mark’s eyes.

 

“I am, I will,” Mark whined, closing the newly formed distance between them by wrapping his arms around Jinyoung. He buried his face in Jinyoung’s chest and muttered, ‘I will’ again. More for himself this time than for Jinyoung’s sake. “I know,” Jinyoung said as he pressed a kiss into the crown of Mark’s head, “I know you think that now, but other than being very hungover, you don’t know how you’ll feel tomorrow. So… I can’t, not yet. Not here.” Mark whined as he pressed himself closer to Jinyoung, desperate to be near the younger boy. He held Jinyoung tightly, breathing in the warm, clean woody smell of him and asked, “how do you know you’ll feel like this tomorrow?” Mark held his head up to look into Jinyoung’s eyes. Jinyoung smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he looked at Mark like he was the most wonderful, precious thing in the universe. “Because I felt like this yesterday, and the day before that, and every day since I saw you for the first time. The empty feeling I’ve always had left when I looked at you that day. So, I know I’ll be here when you’re ready, you don’t have to rush. I’m not going anywhere, I couldn’t, I lo—like you too much,” he said, catching himself before he made such a grand confession so early in their relationship.  “And the only reason I’m telling you all of this,” he continued, “is because I _know_ that you’re too drunk right now to be able to remember any of this tomorrow. So how could I possibly take advantage of you when I’m sure you won’t even remember anything I’m saying, hmm?”

 

Mark buried his face in the soft slope of Jinyoung’s neck and tried to keep his tears as silent as he could, but Jinyoung heard the soft sniffles and felt his shirt dampen as Mark’s tears soaked into it. “Baby, why are you crying?”

 

“Because no one’s ever said anything like that to me. No one’s ever looked at me like you do. No one’s ever treated me like… like this. No one’s ever called me ‘baby’ like that, and I don’t know, I’ve just never been—never felt so… ”

 

‘Wanted’, left unspoken, hung heavy in the air between them. Jinyoung held him closer and, running his hand down Mark’s honey blonde hair. “Come on,” Jinyoung said, holding Mark at arm’s length to take a proper look into his eyes. “Let’s go outside. You wanted air, right? At least I can do that much for you.” Mark’s sobs turned to laughter as he wiped his eyes. “Yeah, that’s the least you could do after rejecting me!” he said as he laughed, smacking his hand against Jinyoung’s chest. “After I was a perfect gentleman I think you mean,” Jinyoung said as he wiped away the wetness from Mark’s flushed cheeks. The pair smiled at each other, warmly, before Jinyoung bent down to pick up the water bottle. “Here,” he said as he stood up and held it out to Mark, who said a quiet ‘thank you’ before opening it up to take a sip.

 

“Gosh, I have to open my own water now? You were so attentive back when you thought you were gonna get some, weren’t you” Mark joked as he closed the empty bottle and set it back down on the stool. “Boys only want one thing, don’t they?” He said with a smirk as Jinyoung feigned total indignation. “Mark Tuan, I can’t believe you’d think I’m like other boys.” Jinyoung said as he chuckled, brushing Mark’s hair back and out of his eyes. Smiling sweetly, looking up at the slightly taller boy Mark said, “you’re not?”

 

“I’m not. In fact, I’m not a boy. I’m a man.” Jinyoung said as he ran his thumb across Mark’s bottom lip, before placing a small, chaste kiss on them. Jinyoung pulled away and turned around, he dropped down and give his back a small pat before saying, “hop on.” Mark let out a confused ‘huh?’ before Jinyoung replied with, “I said we’d have to go upstairs to go outside, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. So, hop on. I’ll carry you.” Mark let out a shy ‘no’ and Jinyoung turned to look at him. “Just hop on, I’m a lot stronger than I look.” ‘You look pretty strong already’ Mark thought to himself before saying, “but I’m older than you, by a _whole_ year. You can’t just give me a piggyback ride, that’s so embarrassing.” Jinyoung gave his back another pat and said, “just because you’re older doesn’t mean I shouldn’t want to take care of you. Just get on, hyung.” With that last word Mark let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders, with barely any effort Jinyoung wrapped his arms around the backs of Mark’s thighs and stood up.

 

As Jinyoung walked over to the stairs, and deftly began climbing up them, Mark dropped his head to let it rest on Jinyoung’s solid shoulders and hummed contentedly. “Thank you, Jinyoungie” Mark said, planting a quick kiss on Jinyoung’s cheek, before resting his head back against Jinyoung’s strong shoulders, “you’re a good boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think.  
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Update (02.2018): Hello! I haven't updated in what feels like a thousand years, even though it's been just about a month. Just checking in to say that there are some *specific* plot points in the fic that I want to reach up before the next BIG update. Just so that you guys will get a chance to experience the MarkJin cuteness but also the subtle craziness of YDNABM!Jinyoung. Anyway, just swinging by to say I have NOT stopped writing this fic, nor have I stopped thinking about all the wonderful comments you guys leave <3  
> Thank you for reading this message and my fic :) <3
> 
> Update (2018.05.18)  
> Hey guys!! Just updating to say I'm thinking of changing some aspects of the fic a little, nothing major I was just thinking of doing some perspective changes. I wanted to change the Mark chapters to 3rd person narration so later down the line other characters can be focused on some more (i.e Jackbum, Bambam, eventually the other possible pairings) The non-jinyoung narrated chapters will still mainly revolve around Mark, I just thought that it would be more flexible because (bare with me if this sounds weird) there are parts coming up soon that Mark can't really narrate because he won't know about them and jinyoung will cause but won't directly be involved in/watching most of them. Anyways let me know what you think! Thank you for waiting :)


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